


Path as a Parent

by MoimoiSweden



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Appropriate Winter Wear, Birthday Cake, Birthday Party, Birthday Presents, Blow Job, But why Y, Children, Crying, Dirty Talk, Eren has a child named after her mother, F/F, F/M, First Love, Fluff, Grave visits, Hange Zoë Being Hange Zoë, Happy, Hugs, I can understand the ea thing cause it means ä, I looked up baby names for this, It disturbs me, It's not Yeager it's JEAGER/JÄGER! It's a german name for fuck's sake., Kindergarten teacher!Eren, Kisses, Love, M/M, Men Crying, Mild Smut, My Tags Start Making This Sound Depressing But It's Really Not, Nervousness, POV Eren Yeager, POV First Person, POV Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, POV Levi Ackerman, Plot, Snow, Timeline What Timeline, Uncle Kenny's bad uncle-ing, Vice-president!Levi, Wait. Why is it written with a Y?, baby stuff, children's birthday parties, mentions of Carla Jäger, mentions of Grisha Jäger, mentions of Kenny Ackerman - Freeform, parenting, probably cute, that is so not a word, this is so wrong, unless I fuck up in some way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5614690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoimoiSweden/pseuds/MoimoiSweden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Jäger, 22 and a kid in his hands, didn't exactly plan to become a parent. He doesn't usually plan at all. Maybe that's why he moved and left everything he knew behind. Now, still, without a plan he tries to figure out how to do this thing adults call parenthood and tries to find his way. He doesn't really know what he's looking for or what he wants, but he's damn determined to make his life work. After all he has two lives to take care of now: baby Carla and himself.<br/>Yet maybe he wouldn't mind company on the way.<br/>That's where Levi Ackerman, his first love, comes in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One who I lost, One who found me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I haven't posted anything since that one Haikyuu! oneshot I made a long time ago. If you've read it thank you! If you hadn't, that's alright. So anyway I decided to post this. This is probably really not realistic nor factual, but who cares! I write for fun and that's what I hope you, dear readers, get out of this too, JOY. (It's an actual thing, I know scary right?)  
> If you want facts about baby care, libraries are invented.  
> Now seriously speaking the timeline might be a little shaky and there are jumps in time, but I hope you can enjoy it anyway.  
> Every comment is appreciated. Every reader is appreciated. I hope my work entertains you guys.  
> Without further talk: Path as a Parent

There used to be a guy I liked some years ago. I still like him actually. I remember his name too, although I don't remember where I heard it from. It's Levi. I don't really know how he's been, but I hope he's doing better than me. Levi was two or three years older than me and probably a level or two higher than me in every aspect. He was kind of the school's bad boy though he had many friends who hold him in high respect. Sometimes when asked why they were with him, they told them that he's more bark than bite. With my observation skills I noticed it to be true. The guy may have been scary on a good day, but inside, under that hard surface, there may have been a big soft nougat center.

Human observation was a hobby of mine, but Levi piqued my mind and I ended up observing him more than I should have. It may have been borderline stalking now that I think about, but the raven really wasn't a bad guy at all. He was rough and thug like, but sometimes I could see the gentle sides of him. I was on my first year of high school then and finally had come out of the closet. It was nerve wracking to have my sister, Mikasa, glare at every single one of my male friends like they were a threat to my virginity. I feared what would have happened to my crush if she had found out about him, so I kept my usually loud mouth shut. I never told about my interest towards him to anyone actually. Not to Mikasa. Not to my best friend Armin. Not to anyone.

Except the actual person in question. I harbored my feelings for a year before I gathered up the courage to confess. It was a simple confession and it was an even simpler rejection. But somehow he strung me along with a simple sentence that made harbor these feelings for years.

"If I wouldn't have to move because of my uncle, I would have dated you. You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

I remember thinking that I should be one to say that to him, because he was fucking gorgeous.

 

* * *

 

 

I am a person who takes responsibility for his own fuck ups and that’s why I also don't blame other people for my own fuck ups. Right now, at this moment, I may be a teensy bit pissed of at whoever made me fall in love with Levi though. It's not the raven's fault or anything. I just can't stop thinking how I might not be in this situation if I had never fallen in love with him. I'm carrying a baby on my arms. She's a beautiful baby with a very similar face to mine. She even harbored my eyes which I inherited from my mom. That’s why I named her after my mother since the baby's mother let me do the naming.

Annie honestly didn't even see it coming. We were both drunk that night, me especially. I'm surprised I was even able to impregnate her. Still, it happened and now I have a baby on my hands. Annie, a woman with a slight similarity to my crush, told me to either keep her or put her to foster care. "She's your responsibility now", she said as she set the baby on my arms and left all the equipment to taking care of her in my apartment. She gave the smallest smile before she left. I stared at the baby who slept calmly. When I heard about her being pregnant four months ago from the mother of my child, I remembered being panicked and apologetic. She said it's her fault as well, so there is no need to be sorry. That day we talked about hours about what to do with the baby. In the end she told me that I should decide since she was not keeping her. And now here I am.

Standing in my new apartment that was spacious and child friendly. I am thankful that my parents were wealthy and left a huge fortune for me and Mikasa. Half of it is mine, which I snatched before leaving city with only a post-it note that said "I'm sorry for leaving like this, Mikasa" and my signature. I had time to plan a lot of things on the past months. I learned necessary things about babies and how to take care of them. I don't think I was ready for this though. Who the fuck is ready to be a parent at 22?

I don't know what possessed me to move hundreds of kilometers away from my only support, but now I had left and there's no turning back. More like I’m too scared to turn back. I can only imagine the terror and heartbreak that goes through the network of my friends. I can imagine how Mikasa will go crazy and try to find me by running around only to be held back by always logical Armin. The blond would try to use his brain to solve this quantity, only to find no answer, because I took everything I had. The only thing that even tells I existed are the millions of photographs and my social media accounts which I stopped using. Only thing that even tells me that I used to have friends and family is the one lonely group photo I had of our friend group. They're all there reminding me what I left behind.

I still don't understand what possessed me to leave, but now I'm here and I will have to make the best of it. I have to do my best for Carla. For her I have a picture of her just after she was born next to that group photo. Annie was holding her gently, motherly. It was the only picture I had of the blond woman. It's the only picture I have to give to Carla. For myself I have an old family photo of my father, my mother, Mikasa and me. It was there to give me strength. I glance at my new phone to check the time. I have my old phone, which holds all my old contacts, pushed in the back of a drawer. My new phone is void of any contacts. It's only with me in case of an emergency.

I have been unpacking for the last four hours. Carla has thankfully been sleeping mostly. She's a silent person, like her mother and tends to only cry at nights, but even that happens rarely. I've been moving furniture too and now that I'm finally done with placing everything, I find myself exhausted to the bone. I already know it won't be easy. Nothing is ever easy. But I’m determined to do my best and the first thing to do is to find a job.

 

* * *

 

 

Two months later I'm working in kindergarten teaching kids art. I picked art as my main subject for college, but life happens and right now I need money, which my paintings don't provide fast enough. Carla was on his back on a carrier giggling as I ran around trying to stop a child named Johnny from painting the walls. Eventually I catch the kid and spin him around in the air. He laughs happily and I smile. Children are always so easy to amuse. I set him down.

"One more round!" He giggles and I shake my head sternly.

"You have to do your assignment. After you're done I'll spin you around five times!" I lift my hands into the air and his eyes widen in excitement.

"Really?!"

"Yup!" I ruffle his head. "You need to work extra hard though!"

"Okay!"

He hurries on his place on the table where the others are diligently making their work for now. Soon they'll start running around and causing trouble. I check Carla as I had a moment. She is fine of course, but I would need to feed her soon. I'm just about to put her back on my back when a knock comes from the door and startles me. I hold Carla tighter to my chest as I lift my eyes to look at the person by the door. My eyes widen and he smirks.

"Long time no see, brat." He calls and l can feel my heartbeat running faster.

"Levi?" I call in disbelief.

He hasn't changed at all. He still has this harsh exterior, but something in his eyes speaks volumes. He's still as short as ever, but I can see the well proportioned muscles under the suit. He's still neat freak or so it seems with how his suit sparkles with cleanliness. He hums and takes a step inside. His dress shoes click on the floor.

"I didn't think you'd actually remember me." He breaths. "And I didn't think I'd find you this far away from from the town you lived your whole childhood in."

"I should be the one to tell you that." I smile brighter than I had in awhile though I'm still surprised. "Anyway, what are you doing here? Is there a little Levi Junior running around?"

"Thankfully no. I'm here to pick up my boss's kid. He and his wife got caught up in work, so I, his vice-president and friend get the lucky draw."

"That's too bad. I would have liked to see you as a father." I laugh and he gives me a glare.

"Right. I should get going. Do you you know where Seaward and Skyler are?"

I remember the twins. They're cute kids and they remind me a lot about Armin when when he was younger. He was such a girly boy. I nod.

"They're in the next class learning letters. They should be done soon."

"Alright. See you around, brat."

"Yeah. See ya." I mumble and gently put Carla into her carrier.

"Eren! I'm done!" Johnny grins widely and shows the picture of his family.

It has a mom, a dad and a dog. The picture is quite messy, but recognizable. Some others begin to be ready as well, though some were pouring their hearts on paper still. I take Johnny's picture and look at it again. I smile at it and then give it back.

"Very well done! You're a little artist aren't you."

"Really?"

"Yes!" I lift him into the air and spin him around five times as I promised.

He's screaming in happiness and soon the rest of the kids are running around and begging for a flight. I promise to do what they ask, but only if they ask nicely and wait in line. They listen to my command in wait of a reward. I give them all compliments for fantastic drawings. I'm done in minutes. The mothers and fathers start pouring in and picking up their kids. With many goodbyes the kids are heading home. I sigh and head to the kitchen to get some dinner for Carla. And a diaper change. After I get both done with burbing added to it, I go to find my boss to check out. She is called Maria Bodt and she helped me a lot this past few weeks. It seems she has a child of her own though he is my age and living away to attend college. She is really an angel in disguise. She smiles at me when I step into her office.

"Eren! Darling, how are you today?"

"I'm fine, Mrs Bodt. I just came to inform you that I'm going home now."

"Oh dear. Is it that time already?" Her eyes widen a bit and she searches for a clock.

"It is." I chuckle. "Carla and I are going to head home and paint a bit, aren't we." I speak sweetly and poke her nose. She is now on my arms and giggles.

Her big teal eyes watch me happily.

"You have to show those paintings to me sometimes. Maybe we could decorate this house a bit sometimes."

"I wouldn't mind though we would have to make sure the kids don't reach them."

"Of course. If you ever come up with an idea, just tell me."

"I will. Anyway, I'm gonna go now. See you tomorrow."

"Yes, see you tomorrow."

I turn around and head off. There are heavy clouds hanging on the sky and I hope it wouldn't rain before I get home. I put Carla down onto her baby carriage and strap her in. I take a quick pace after making sure that she is perfectly set. By foot my trip home takes ten minutes or so. The risk of raining seems to be high with how humid the air is, so I try not to slow down much. Mikasa would have reprimanded me for not bringing an umbrella. We get home just before it starts pouring. I sigh in relief as I start getting Carla out of the carriage. I put her to her crib after checking she was comfortable. The crib is in his bedroom with a walkie-talkie. Another end of the walkie-talkie is in the office which is full of my equipment for art. I lull my baby to sleep singing lyrics of an old song I learned from my mom. It always got me to sleep and it seems to work on Carla as well. After I was sure she was asleep I sneak out and head for my office. If I'm lucky I can work for most of the night and take a power nap before going to work. It isn't like I didn't have money, but I'm trying to save it for her school fees. I hear the fees are expensive as hell and I'm pretty sure I can't save enough for them with the pay I'm getting now. I like to live in the moment, but right now I have to think about the future. Her future as well as mine.

That’s one of the many reasons as to why I moved. To get a fresh start. To understand what I need to do. To find out what I want to do. Maybe I really didn't need to move from Trost to Jinae, but I really didn't want Mikasa to find me. She's loving and protective, but she also likes to force her decisions on me. She likes to make my decisions for me. Or maybe I'm just running away from my family and anything they could say to me. It feels like everything they say would make me hate myself. Or what I did. I just don't want to see them. Not now, maybe not ever. I'll miss them, yeah, but my feelings of not wanting to meet them override that feeling. I just can't meet them.

 

* * *

 

After a power nap I wake up to my alarm clock. The heavy smell of oil paint is in the air. The painting I finished last night is drying next to me on a stand. I stretch a bit though it doesn't help one bit since I slept on the floor with only a small blanket and a pillow. The kinks stay even as I force myself up and ready myself for my day. I take a long shower and a try to scratch some dried paint of my hands, but it doesn't leave. After my shower I fold my apron, jeans and t-shirt that I use while painting. They're full of paint stains and I put them back to my office out of my way and out of Carla's mouth. I throw on some clothes and check on my child. She's still sleeping peacefully though she woke up once in the middle of the night and stayed up for an hour or two. I yawn as I stroll into the kitchen to make some breakfast for myself. Carla has her babyfood.

I've always liked to cook after I learned the art from my mother. I've never been especially good at it though so I never thought of making a career out of a hobby. I whip up some pancakes and bread. I like to make the buns from scratch because it tastes amazing. The warmth and smell of them is out of this world. After I push the buns into the oven I go to check on Carla again. This time she is awake and she is rolling on the crib while playing with her favourite toy. It was the only thing she got from her mother. It feels like Carla knows that and that's why she likes the toy so much. I gently lift her up and bring her to my chest.

"Why don't we grab you some breakfast, yeah?"

The only answer I get was a sound that sounds a lot like Lady Gaga. It would be disappointing if her first words are a name of a pop star. I think I'm starting to miss human interactions that happen between families. Like morning kisses on the cheek or forehead. Or just a good morning greeting right after you've woken up. Or those conversations about what you're going to do today that happen around the breakfast table. I miss them a lot. Carla can't provide for them and I have no friends in this town except maybe Mrs Bodt. For a person who had a big group of friends being this alone is hard. I have no time to worry about it though and I'm pretty sure I would just be a burden to any friends I made. At least any friends that were my age. People at my age worry about partying and failing classes. Not about a child and money issues.

Nowadays I hum when I'm alone. It fills the empty apartment. I usually play the radio quietly on the background too. The silence may be the worst thing so far, since I have lived in a lively household. I've never lived alone. Even after my parents died, I lived with Mikasa and Armin. We moved to Trost and lived together in a small apartment. We befriended a lot of people and it was never quiet much less silent. They were a rowdy group. Jean and I always, always fought. Even about the most smallest things. Mikasa would never leave me alone and Armin would talk hours about the books he read. Connie and Sasha talked loudly about the crazy things they would do or parties they went to. Christa and Ymir would make out while Reiner would laugh loudly with blushing Bert on his side. I love that kind of loud atmosphere. It takes my mind of from my darker thoughts. Thoughts that make me sad and angry. Thoughts that make me so easily flammable. Now though, I distract myself myself by humming and painting. And really bad dance moves. They make even someone as small as Carla laugh. I set my young one down in her chair and turn dramatically. The baby giggles as I start to sing into my spatula with a horrible out of tune voice. I don’t know why I remember the lyrics of some pop song about missing the one you love from my mind. Maybe I'm alone too much. Maybe I'm missing my family and friends more than I thought.

“But you’re enough for me. You have to be, right Carla?”

She answers with some weird word garble.

“Yeah. You’re all I need.” I poke her nose and put some food on the table.  

I take out the buns after feeding Carla. They smell better than last time and I find myself thinking that maybe I'm getting better at cooking. It seems like I am. The pancakes look better than the last ones too. I sit down with my steaming bread and make myself sandwiches. Carla is trying to reach for her pacifier. I gently push it into her mouth before digging into my maple syrup drowned pancakes. I munch my pancakes down and talk one sidedly to Carla. I almost cry every time I remember how Mikasa voiced her disgust with the habit and Armin told me to stop talking with my mouth full of food. I grab one of the warm buns between my hands now that they're filled with fresh healthy stuff. I force myself to eat it even after losing my appetite before getting up and lifting Carla with me. It’s time for a check and change of clothes. Maybe a bath and a massage too. I have time for that before I have to get to work. I had time for her and work. That’s all I needed to concentrate on. Her and work. _Her and work._

 

* * *

 

 

It’s a surprise to see one of my coworkers sitting with Seaward and Skyler. The coworker seems annoyed and it seems that the kids know it.

“Do you have somewhere to go?” I ask her and she turns to me.

“I have a date with my boyfriend.” she sighs. “Sometimes parents are just-”

She stops as she sees Carla on my arms. She looks away and I smile tightly.

“I can wait for the parents.” I say and she looks at me like I’m an angel.

“Really?”

“Really. I have nowhere to be.” I can see how thankful she is as she apologizes for pushing this on me and escaping to her date.

The twins look at me and I smile gently.

“Hey. My name is Eren and this little baby is Carla.”

Seaward pushes his sister behind his back a bit and looks at me with a glare.

“My name’s Seaward and she’s my sister Skylar.”

“Is she yours?” Skyler asks as she glances over her brother's shoulder.

“Yep. I’m her daddy.”

“A-are you like my daddy?” Skylar asks and I raise an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” I respond confused.

“He never comes to pick us up.” Skylar mumbles.

“He never keeps his promises.” Seaward complains.

“He’s always at work.” Skylar huffs.

“Daddy’s always _always_ at work.” Seaward grumbles.

“I had a dad like that.” I sit on the floor carefully.

The two look at me curiously.

“Really?” they give voice to their amazement.

“Yeah. He was a doctor. He was off saving lives and he was never home! He made promises and never kept them! He never picked me and my sister up!”

“Just like our dad!” Seaward says almost angrily.

“Mm. But you know, I knew he had a very important job. My mom always said that he was keeping our family happy and making us money so we could live better. I think that was what your dad is doing.”

“But dad’s just some C-C-CE-U?”

“You mean CEO?” I stop myself from laughing at Seaward.

“Yeah! That thing!”

“But that means your dad is like a king! He has knights and soldiers working under him!”

“Like a king?” Skyler asks eyes sparkling.

“Like a king! He’s super cool! He’s so busy, because he’s trying to keep all his people safe. Including you, his most important little troopers.”

“That’s awesome.” Seaward grins.

“Yeah, yeah it is. But you are part of his super cool army so you have to tell him if he’s not doing his job. His job is to keep his soldiers happy and safe. If you’re not happy then he’s doing something wrong.” I smile. “But do it gently. We dads are surprisingly easy to break.”

“But he’s the king!” the little boy frowns.

“Love and hate are powerful things, little trooper.”

“W-what about your dad? D-did you tell him?” Skyler is still hiding behind her brother.

“No, I didn’t. I never got the chance.”

“W-why?”

“My mom and dad died before I got the chance.”

“Like the princess dies in movies? Doesn’t that mean he can’t wake your mom if he’s dead too?” Skyler looks scared.

I just shook my head.

“My dad and mom aren’t coming back, but yours are still here. You have to remember to tell them everything you want before it’s too late.”

“What if I can’t?” Seaward says just as scared.

“You’re strong little troopers. I’m sure you can do it.” I ruffle their heads and they squeake. “Come on. Don’t look so scared. Your dad is the king in the big golden crown and strong shining armor ready slay every dark demon and huge dragon for you. He will come to get you even if he has to send his best knight here to protect you before he makes it here.”

“Are you sure he will come?” Seaward's voice is wavering a bit.

“If he’s anything like my dad, he will come and protect you.”

“But your dad’s gone!” Seaward yells.

“And I’m still alive. He came and protected me. He still protects me. He protects me even when he’s not here ‘cause he loves me.”

“H-how can you be so sure. You aren’t making any sense.” the boy glares.

“I will. When you’re just a tad bit older. But don’t worry. I’m sure he will come any second no-”

“Seaward! Skyler!” A deep voice booms from the halls.

“Daddy!” the twins yell as one and the man runs to the door all sweaty.

“Oh. He definitely loves you.” I grin. “Look how hurried your king was to run here and rescue you from the deadly dungeons! He’s all sweaty.”

The man regards me with raised eyebrows and a surprised look. The twins grins at the disheveled father as well.

“Daddy.” Seaward says seriously and matter-of-factly. “We hate it when you don’t keep your promises and when you’re never home.”

The father looks like he was slapped in the face, but then the two hurry to him and hug him.

“But we love you anyway.” Skyler mumbles into his pants.

“And forgive you ‘cause you slay dragons and keep everybody safe. You’re super cool.”

He looks bewildered, but smiles and lifts them both easily onto his arms.

“Well. I’m thankful you love me and forgive me. I know I can’t always be home and don’t keep my promises, but I’ll do my best.”

He nods at me as a goodbye and I sigh holding back my tears. Really, I’ve become a cry baby since mom and dad died. Every single thing reminds me of them and now there’s even more things to remind me what I don’t have anymore. The tears come anyway. They drop on Carla who is bundled into a blanked. She stares at me with her big teal eyes and I smile sadly tears still rolling down my cheeks. I bite my lip to stop a sob. How I wish to turn back time. How I wish to see them again. All of them. Oh, how I wish I wasn’t such a screw up. But she’s here now. She’s the only thing I have. Carla’s the only thing I have. I hear running steps that stop at the door. I hear a familiar voice from yesterday and my head turns to see who would call out to me. Who could get my heart raising with one word.

“Eren-” Levi voice stops when he saw my face, his eyes flashing in concern.

“Ah. L-levi. Why are you here?” I ask wiping my tears into my blazer sleeves that were too long, but this is my father’s and I don’t want to let it go.

“Erwin told me you’re still here… Why are you crying?”

“J-just some old memories popped up.” I laugh forcefully getting up.

“Seaward said she’s yours?” Levi nods towards Carla who grabs at my shirt as I get up.

“Yeah. She is.”

“She has your eyes, you know.”

“I guess…” I hum and turn to look at the man I’ve loved for more than six years.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Anyway, what are you here for?”

“I came to ask your number.”

“Huh?”

“Your number. Can I have it?”

“I guess? Sorry. I was just surprised.” I smile more genuinely.

Levi scoffs and pulls out his phone. I move Carla so she leans on my shoulder and I could use my other hand to pull out my phone. I glance at Levi and he gives me a line of numbers. I save it and text Levi a happy smiley. He lifts his eyebrows, but then he sends it back and I chuckle.

“Thanks.” Levi looks into my eyes and I blink.

“For what?”

“For giving me a second chance?”

“Are you asking me on a date or something?”

“I don’t know. If I did, would you say yes?”

I stand there paralyzed for a second or two processing what the raven responded. I don't think I even believed I heard right, but his eyes didn't change. In front of me stood a person with an awaiting look on his face. All that the talk to Carla about surviving alone? In that moment I threw it right out of the window. I will never let Levi slip out of my grip. I have a chance with a man whom I've been in love with over six years. One won't throw that away.

“I would probably. But I’d hope you’d rather come to my place than that we go out.”

“I could do that.”

“And when could you do that?”

“In a couple of days? It’s Saturday and all.”

“Hmm. And what will we do?”

“I’ll cook and we’ll have dinner. Anything else?”

“You don’t mind if we watch a movie, do you?”

“Movie, huh? Not really.” Levi turned to leave. “And if something comes mind, text me. Anything at all.”

“O-okay.”

“See you around.”

“See you.” I watch the man leave out of the door with a wave.

My tears had dried.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awesome! One down five to go. This only has six chapter's so it's pretty short. I like to keep my fics sort because otherwise I'll write something really weird. I'm serious about this. The plot will get weird fillers and in general it will become muddled. Enough of my bad habits. (シ_ _)シ (I apologize for rambling)  
> Did you enjoy it? Did you not enjoy it? You're welcome to state your opinion. Let's help each other out here: I learn to write better and you all get better fics! ✉️✍️  
> As always, I give all my love to everyone who finds their way to my fic. Happy New Year!! ❤️


	2. Surprise meetings featuring Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! So it's not Saturday, but I posted today, because I have a test I have study to tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. Keep your thumbs up for me. Anyways, instead of talking nonsense, I decided to make reading my fanfic a bit easier for you all.  
> So fun facts about this fic:  
> #1 Carla was born January 11th  
> #2 Levi and Eren met (again after six years) on April 4th. Carla was a bit under four months then.  
> #3 Levi got Eren's number on April 13th  
> #4 It's December 6th on the start of the chapter and the date of Eren's parents' death is December 8th  
> #5 Carla is a really fucking amazing kid, don't question it.  
> #6 At the end of this chapter Levi and Eren have been together for a year and two months. Isn't that cute.  
> So yeah second chapter of Path as a Parent. o(^◇^)o

It’s been almost eight months. Levi and I have been going on dates or more like he has come to my house for those dates. Sometimes when Carla was sleeping we would go for a walk walk around the area of my apartment. Those walks were short. Levi knew that I shouldn’t leave Carla alone into the apartment. He knew I got anxious when we went too far or if we stayed out too long. The raven was so understanding towards me that I sometimes didn’t know what to do with myself. From time to time I felt like I didn’t deserve such an amazing man, but I knew I would never leave him. I would never let him slip through my fingers again.

Sometimes we would go to a family diner. We would sit there few hours and eat. Sometimes it was just me and Levi, but usually when we went to a diner, we took Carla with us. It was often me talking about whatever came to my mind while I was keeping a watchful eye on Carla as she pushed her fingers in anything and everything. The raven man always made a face when she made a face, but didn’t say a word although I knew he didn’t like the mess Carla was leaving. I felt grateful that he understood not to ask anything from me. Especially to clean when I was already tired from bustling around.

I never thought this would be easy, but I never thought that this would have been this hard. I… I think I was naive when I thought that I could take care of her alone. I don’t even know where to begin to tell how tired am. Not in parenting or Carla, just in general. I haven’t had a good night sleep in three months now. I knew I said Carla was awfully quiet, but I guess she was just happy, because right now she was not happy. At all. She was mostly in pain because her teething had started and she cries a lot. The teething, by now, has calmed, but I just can’t sleep. It's the idea of sleeping so heavily that I could not wake to calm her that kept me awake. The thought of not being next to her when she needs me.

Thankfully, I am not alone. Levi stays next to me. He comes to my rescues and helps me to keep my head up. He often tells me to sleep and eat when I forget. He tells me to rest, because Carla needs me to be awake and not some shitty zombie. He tells me he’ll wake me up if she needs me. He always tells me that he’ll stay as long as we need him. He does the things I have too little time to do. He cleans and makes dinner when he’s over. He makes it so I can paint. He is the reason I haven’t had a nervous breakdown by now.

Although the raven is always there when I need him, Levi seems to be a bit afraid to touch Carla. I don’t want to push him to interact with her, but I don’t want him to be afraid of touching her either. I can understand him though. When I first got Carla in my hands I felt more scared than ever. I was not ready to be a father, I think I still aren't, so of course I’ll give him however long he wants to take with things. I’m not going anywhere and neither is Carla. When he is ready to be what I might want him to be, he’ll come to us on his own. I’m happy that he’s there for me even though he isn’t ready to be a father to Carla. For now I’m happy he saw Carla’s first steps with me as he happened to be there that time. For now I’m happy that he heard her first real word with me, which happened to be his name. Instead of making me mad that it wasn’t dad or something, I blushed. I was talking to her so much about Levi that she remembered the raven’s face and name. It was fucking embarrassing, okay. It was the first time I saw Levi’s eyes widen so much. He seemed to be pretty shell shocked. I gave Carla a kiss on the forehead before reaching to Levi’s hand and smiling down at him.

For now I'm happy with these simple things.

I know Levi is walking far out of his comfort zone already. I know he is scared of not being able to be what I or Carla want him to be. I know _I'm_  scared. I am scared of doing so many things wrong. I'm scared of not giving enough time for Carla or Levi or both. I'm scared of pushing Levi too much and losing him. But I know this time I couldn’t ask anyone else. After all, I don’t have anyone else I trust enough. This is the only time I will ask him to do anything like this. I can’t promise much, but it never stopped me from trying.

Nothing had ever stopped me from doing anything I had put my mind to.

I want to go visit my parents’ grave, but I can’t take Carla back to Shiganshina with me. The trip would be too long and by now it's cold there. I haven't got warm enough clothes for her. I have to drive for five hours at least and I just have no energy to take care of her as well. On top of Carla waking me up, I have been crying. A lot. It was normal for me, but Levi didn’t know that and I just couldn’t tell him. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I had never even talked about it with Mikasa. My parents deaths were a sore spot deep in my heart. But I love them deeply and I don’t want to miss this year’s grave visit.

But I have only Levi to fall back to taking care of my baby girl. Even though he has seen me do all the baby stuff, he might not appreciate that I push my child, which _I_ should be taking care of, on him. It feels wrong to me and I know Levi hardly knows how to do everything. He knows how to make baby food and her sleeping patterns, but that was it. In a span of few days I would have to teach him everything and hope he will survive for a whole day. I don’t want to leave her nor Levi to go to a grave visit, but I couldn’t make myself to break the promise I made myself all those years ago. I just couldn’t do it.

I was painting again when the doorbell rang. Carla is already sleeping and painting kept my mind off the looming sadness and depression. My latest paintings are for the kindergarten. Mrs Bodt likes the few I had shown her and she asked me to paint some to the kindergarten. She is also giving me some money for them. I glance at the clock and sigh as I got up. It's already almost twelve. I stroll to the door only to find Levi standing there a small smile on his lips.

“Care to let me in, brat?”

“I might not. What if I leave you there?”

“Then you can’t get the treats I brought you and Carla.”

“Aw! You brought me bribes. You’re so sweet.”

I kiss him on the cheek before moving out of the way. The raven shuffles off his shoes and puts them on the side next to mine. He gives me the small bag he has before taking his jacket of as well. Levi puts it on a spare hanger as I go to the kitchen.

“Have you been painting again?”

“Mm. It’s the second last painting. Besides I’ve been putting some things on sale as well. They’ve been selling pretty well.”

“Hmm? Where is that little rascal?”

“Sleeping. You went past her bedtime again.” I smile gently at him.

He knows that I know that he did it on purpose. This is why I’m scared. He never asked for a child. He never asked for this, yet it’s something he has to get used to if he stays with me. I don’t want him to be scared of anything. Especially when I know he’ll be a perfect father.

“Levi.” I say seriously as I take out three pieces of cake.

“What.” he answers confidently, but I can hear a waver in his voice.

“I-” I start, but can’t get the rest out.

I can hear Levi shifting his weight from one foot to another.

“Spit it out, brat.” he growls almost harshly, but I can still hear that waver.

I turn to look at him and he's frowning.

“I need you to watch Carla for me.” I sigh as his eyes show an instant “no” to the idea although his mouth didn’t voice it.

Levi is like a soldier. He tries hiding his fears. For him that fear isn’t supposed to be there, even though it is only natural to fear things that are new. He won’t voice it and he won’t tell me why. It’s not about trust really, it’s more about things that we just aren’t ready to share to each other yet. I had things like that and so did he. Yet I would trust him with my life, with my child’s life.

“Why?” is the first thing that left his lips.

“I… I need to go back to my home town. It’ll only be a day. Please. This one time. You’re the only one I can ask.”

“I-”

“Please, Levi. She doesn’t know anyone else.” I plead.

There is a silence. We watch each other’s the eyes. I can see his fear and uncertainty, but I know I can trust Levi. He is the only person in this world that I will trust this blindly, because I know he won’t betray that trust.

“Fine. But if you don’t return in one day, I will take her to child care.”

I grin and go to hug him. I kiss his forehead and cheek and finally his lips. I brush my hands through his undercut and he hums into the kiss. I let his hands wander on my hips and under my shirt. I enjoy those wandering hands. It’s been a long while since anyone has touched me and I'm hardly getting enough from something like this. Still, I’m too conscious of Carla in the next room. He kisses my neck and nips the skin hungrily while I chuckle a bit.

“Come on. Let’s eat the cake.”

“Oh, right.”

 

* * *

 

I stand in Eren’s apartment as the brunette was getting ready to leave on a cold Saturday. He kisses both of us. Carla on the forehead as she stands next to me, keeping a hold of my pants. She is crying, but there isn’t a sound coming through this time. She hiccups from time to time. The next kiss went onto my lips as he straightens. I took notice of his unusually dark clothes and a face of a dying man. I truly hope he’s not going to make a suicide and leave me with a kid. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready at all and I think he knows this too, but for some reason he refused to ask any of his friends.

“Call me if anything happens. I’ll be back before you know it.” he says with a tired smile.

I know he cried again last night. I can see it in his face and I hate to let him go. Not only because he was leaving me with his kid, which I had only a crash course on how to take care of, but also because how he looks. It was like he was broken by something, but he doesn’t tell me what it is. Maybe he needs a reason to. I don’t know. Maybe it was the same reason why I haven’t told him why even touching his child scares me. He was about to turn before I pull him down to a last kiss while Carla still cries for her daddy who’s leaving.

“You too. Call me if anything happens.”

He smiles more happily and kisses my cheek.

“I will. See ya, Levi.”

“See you, brat.”

The door closes and I look at Carla. I can only think how I want to cry too. I don’t even know how to comfort this brat. I know what calms Eren, but Eren’s kid? And how do you make her go to sleep? How do I do this? I grip my hair. She _is_ Eren’s so maybe, _maybe_ , the same things work on her. I lift my hand, but it shakes and I pull it back before it could pat that chocolate brown hair of hers. I turn and she moves with me while keeping my sweats in death grip with her tiny chubby fingers. I look at her tears rolling down and snot covering her nose. I grab a tissue from the table where I left it. I kneel next to her and gently try to clean her face even with my hands shaking. She sniffles and I smile a bit at the funny face she makes.

“Just blow it out. Otherwise your nose gets clogged.”

“Levi.”

“Yeah?”

“Dad?”

“He’ll come back, don’t worry. He’ll definitely come back.”

“Mm.”

“I know it’s sad, but Eren won’t leave you.”

She just nods and I nod as well while getting up. I’m lost. At least my neat freak did some good. I somehow got her to stop crying, but she is still clinging to his sweats and I’m starting to panic. I was never good with kids, still aren’t. Everyone got scared of my demeanor and in middle school Eren was the first one outside of my few rare friends to speak to me. And to think he actually asked me out. I still think he looked like an angel, still does. I still wonder how I got this chance. I still wonder how and why he is with me. But even when I feel wishy-washy he’s patient. He waits for me to get used to this. He trusts me. He fucking leaves me with his kid even though he knows I’m scared. I know he knows. Yet he still left her with me, trusting her with me, trusting _in_ me, enough to go where-fucking-ever he’s going. I think I remember he said something about Shiganshina and that’s like at least five hour trip from here. Why the fuck does he need to go there? And lately he’s been crying more too. I just can’t wrap my head around this shit. I know I make him happy. I know Carla makes him happy. But I don’t know one fucking thing about his past. I don’t know one fucking reason for his tears. I glance at the girl next to me looking at the ground. Fuck that. Fuck past. I need to concentrate in future. And he’s my future. This kid is my future. They’re my future. Eren’s future is mine. We’re in this together. He might not know it yet, but I’m not going to stop loving him.

“I’m going to be here. All the times, he’s not, I’ll be here.” I say to myself more than her, but she looks at me.

“You are?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here too. Then you got your dad and me.”

Her eyes sparkle and she hugs me. Eren likes to hug me too. I smile a bit deciding to ask Hange for help. I will need it.

 

* * *

 

I had driven five hours straight to Shiganshina. I get out of my car with a stretch trying to work out the kinks and my sore muscles. I slam the car door closed and lock the car. Straightening my suit jacket and correcting my dress shirt into my black skinny jeans I head towards the right grave. It’s still early so I presume Mikasa and Armin haven’t gotten around to come yet. We usually had come at night since we all worked the mornings even on days like these, but since I have a full time job, I get paid more and I don’t need to work saturdays. I lean the flowers on the shoulder where I usually lean Carla on. My arms had felt empty for awhile now. On top of that this anxious feeling won’t leave, even though I’m sure Levi will take care of my baby girl.

I reach the right grave and smile sadly down on it.

“Hey, mom and dad. How you’ve been up there?” I chuckle as I set the flowers down.

They were both mom and dad’s favourites. I brush away some dead leaves and early snow from the grave. I clean the spot a bit more. I guess some of Levi’s quirks stuck on me these past months.

“Do you remember, mom, when I came home crying and you asked what happened?”

I don’t continue. I close my eyes listening to the cold north wind howling. My mother’s voice is not there even when I can almost feel her next to me.

“And I answered that this guy I had a crush on for a year rejected me ‘cause he had to move to some other town ‘cause his uncle is an asshole.”

I finally say and sit next to the grave. I gave the wind time to speak instead of my mother.

“Oh man I got so much to tell you two. Maybe I start from the beginning, huh?”

 

* * *

 

I’m in middle of making dinner for me, Hange and Carla. The girl is stuck to me again, but she let go of me to play with Hange for a few hours.

“Levi. Sleepy.” she looks at me with those same teal eyes as Eren has.

“Right. Can you wait till the foods done? Eat first before sleeping.”

She nods and leans heavily on me so I lift the little girl on her chair. I finish dinner and feed her before burbing her. I put her to bed and tuck her in. She holds my hand with her chubby fingers and I make sure she has fallen asleep before prying them off before replacing it with her favourite toy. I creep out of the room to eat my own dinner with Hange. She’s grinning like a maniac and I scoff.

“What.”

“You’re so cute! I have no idea why you don’t consider being a father!”

“Honestly you know the reason.”

“Oh come on! You’re nothing like your uncle. You have your shit together. Also not having a father figure means that you can become like the father you always wanted.”

“Right, right.”

“No, I’m serious. And this Erin person you’re dating? She must be quite the lady to hold my little playboy down for months. I’m just wondering why you haven’t spoken to me about her.”

“First reason is because you’ll blab to Erwin. It’s a surprise he and Petra don’t know about me dating yet. Second, I have no idea where this is going. As you said I used to be a playboy.”

“And I heard a different story from the crying drunk Ackerman who said you loved one and only person for your whole life. They apparently met you in high school, but you couldn’t date him ‘cause you had to move.”

“Maybe.”

Hange’s eyes sparkle and she jumps up.

“Are you serious! This is huge news! Then why this sudden long relationship? Have you given up? You can’t do that! Go find them! Have a love story!” Hange starts getting way too excited and Levi pushes her back down.

“Eat your dinner, shitty glasses.”

“But I’m serious.”

“I am too. Eat your food, Hange. It’s a wonder you’re brain hasn’t wrapped around this whole shit already.”

“What shit?”

The front door opens and I can hear a heavy sigh. I get up and head to my boyfriend, who by the looks of it, had cried some more and had a rough day all in all.

“Hey. You okay?”

“I’m fine. Oh, right, I’m home.”

“Welcome back. There’s food if you want any.”

“I’ll take some.” he smiles as he kisses me. “How about you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. She’s a good kid.”

“I know. You’re a good man.” he kisses me again as he puts his jacket on a hanger.

His shoes go neatly next to mine and he pulls me further to the apartment by my hand. Eren sees Hange who looks as shocked as the apartment owner to see her.

“Hello. I didn’t know we had guests.” he smiles politely at her and her mouth hangs open.

“Eren, this is Hange, Hange this is my lover, _Eren_.” I say as we sat down.

“Nice to meet you, Hange. I hope my baby girl didn’t cause you too much trouble.”

“N-no. She was an angel.” This might have been the first and last time I see Hange stutter, so I relish in the feeling. “You are quite young.”

“Should I take that as an insult or a compliment?” he chuckles at Hange’s surprisement.

“Compliment, of course! I was just surprised. I never thought Levi would catch someone as cute as you.”

“Oi!” I glare at her as my boyfriend blushes.

“I’m not that cute. And I’m not that young either. I’m only three years younger than Levi.”

“Wait, you’re 22? You look like you’re younger than that.”

“Many say that. If Levi and I hadn’t met before he might have though I was an infant or something.” He jokes and I snort at the though.

He might actually be right about that. Eren looks young enough to be underage and even I, damn my shortness and youngish face, look like a middle schooler if I lift up my fringe. Though looking past the fact the boy had gotten some height, his face was almost the same, he had just lost some baby fat.

“You’re a guy right?” Hange suddenly voices and Eren glances at me.

I shrug. I had no idea where Hange was going with this.

“Yeah?”

“Damn. You would have looked good in a dress.” Eren blushes even more and Hange continues. “Speaking of clothing why are you in such forlorn clothing? Were you in a funeral or something?”

“Uh, not exactly. Anyways I’m going to grab some food.”

I watch him go and Hange pulls me close. Usually it was I who did this move so it came as a surprise.

“You never told me Eren was a guy!” she chides.

“I never saw the point.”

“Didn’t you think to correct me?”

“Again, I never saw the point.” I push the woman away.

She pouts, but as Eren sits down next to me and smiles sweetly before his hand moves to gently touch the dark spots under my eyes worriedly.

“You should have taken a nap at noon. You look so tired.”

“I could say the same to you.” I answer to him as I eye critically his bloodshot eyes and black bags.

“I’ll sleep tonight.”

Hange is smiling at us like we are the cutest things in the whole world as Eren kisses me briefly before sitting down to eat.

“God. I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”

“Couldn’t you have stopped for a bite.”

“Nah. I’d rather eat here. Besides your cooking is fucking amazing. It’s like 5 michelin stars amazing. Why the hell are you working some office job?” the brat whines as he savoured the food.

“‘Cause Erwin can’t keep his shit clean. Believe me, I’d rather be cooking, but the bastard won’t let me resign. He says his office will look like crap if I leave.”

“Damn. The man’s using you as a personal house keeper or something.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Oh come on, you grump. Erwin just loves you. And if you weren’t there who would pick up those two angels when Petra and he are too busy.” Hange sighs dramatically.

“You could do that. I have my own brats to take care of.”

“Hey!” Eren pouts.

“And that’s exactly why I call you a brat.” I chuckle and poke his cheek until he relents with a smile.

“You’re horrible.”

“Mm.”

Hange jumps up suddenly like she remembered something.

“Oh! Oh! I almost forgot that Moblit was waiting for me! I have to go. I’ll come around again.”

“Don’t come.” I growl as Eren let out a giggle.

“You’re welcome to visit.” the boy smiles at the woman and she squeales.

“Gosh! You’re so cute!” she says loudly and hurries to the door. “I’ll see you at work, Levi.”

“Alright. Good night.”

After she is gone Eren pulls his chair closer to mine and cuddles to my side as he empties rest of his plate. I just relax into his touch and watch the more happy face now that he was by my side.

“Will you tell me about it?” I surprise even myself as the question slips past my lips.

“Maybe. Will you tell me about your past then?”

“Someday. Maybe it’s tomorrow, maybe it’s next week. But I’ll definitely do it.”

“Then I’ll tell you when you’re ready to tell me.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

It definitely is.

 

* * *

 

Summer rolls around before I know it and I had noticed that Hange was pretty useful. Levi and I sometimes left Carla in her and Moblit’s care to go on actually dates. First I felt anxious as always, but after a few times I started to trust the two more and eventually I became comfortable leaving my baby girl to them for a few hours. I still worry, but Levi has become amazing at distracting me. I kind of felt that he was just as worried about leaving Carla to Hange, though, but Moblit is a levelheaded man and surprisingly good at calming Hange. So he too seemed to feel that Carla is safe in their arms whenever we want to go out.  

We went past Carla’s birthday. The two of us had a small party with Moblit, Hange and Levi. Levi baked the cake while Hange decorated the whole house for no apparent reason. There was so much colorful paper around and I had to take Carla away from them more than a hundred times. She obviously wanted to stuck them into her mouth although I loved watching how amused she was by them. I actually felt a bit bad for taking her away from them every time, but I’d rather have a crying baby than a choking one. I don’t want my baby girl hurt in anyway. Levi reprimanded Hange for not thinking about Carla’s safety. She looked a bit down after that, but I said not to be too down about it, since we just have to keep an eye on Carla so she doesn’t eat them or anything. After that she was bouncing around like usual and went to play with Carla.

She never cleaned the birthday mess up and our small family ended up doing it. Levi was nagging at me to do a better job while Carla giggled every time he did that. She may enjoy the fact that I’m being scolded by my boyfriend while she’s sitting on the floor playing with dolls, cars and builder’s blocks. Well I’m not complaining. If Levi isn’t comfortable in my apartment then I will feel pretty sad. Besides he is practically living here by now. He has at least two suits here and some sleeping wear. He also has freetime clothing. I catch myself thinking that he should just move in with us, but then I remember I never want to have sex here, since Carla will hear us. His apartment is a good place for doing things that we don’t want Carla to hear. The raven has become comfortable with Carla too. He plays with her and makes her dinner while I’m painting. Sometimes all three of us sit on the sofa watching some kids’ movie him pressed into my side playing with the hair on my neck. Carla always sits on my lap and my hands are around her while my head leans onto Levi’s. We are a nice little family.

This morning I once again wake up next to my boyfriend. He usually forces me out of my office to sleep with him. He seems comfortable sleeping with me and I sleep more when I’m with him. I yawn heavily and curl into him a bit. He chuckles and I smile. The raven usually is awake before me and probably enjoys his privilege of watching me sleep. I blink my eyes open and look into his stormy eyes that seem way too amused for my liking. I kiss his cheek gently before rolling out of bed. It’s my turn to make breakfast. He leaves later today and we can finally eat breakfast together. We never actually do that, but Erwin gave his assistant/cleaner/vice-president a break. Sometimes when the man comes to pick Seaward and Skyler up he gives me this creepy look that I don’t know the meaning of, but I hope he’s okay with me dating his friend. I take a shower and brush my teeth before teetering to the kitchen. Levi stays in bed. I know he doesn’t want to get up if he doesn’t actually have to, even though he won’t catch any sleep.

I whip up my special blueberry pancakes and took out the dough I made yesterday out of the fridge. I make the small buns and wait for the oven to heat up before pushing them in. I cut some vegetables and fruits and put them onto bowls before setting them onto the table. I go to check Carla, who now has her own room. She is wide awake trying to get out of her grib. I go to lift her up and she says an almost unrecognizable good morning to my own. I lean her to my chest and she starts to paw at me. I give a small chuckle at her actions as I walk back to the kitchen. I set her to sit on her seat and Levi’s quiet steps come from the hallway. He appears to the kitchen only seconds later and ruffles my little girl’s hair as he sits down. He’s still on his boxers though he has pulled on a t-shirt. I put some pancakes in front of him. I hum a song I heard from a radio as I mash Carla’s pancakes before feeding her. She tries to get the spoon from me, but I somehow manage to feed her. Carla has been eager to try everything and anything that Levi and I do. Although she doesn’t copy us, she finds that doing what we do seems to be fun. For example last night I saw her trying to undress herself. She failed, but at least she didn’t give up. My raven often says that she is as stubborn as I am.

Levi eats his own slowly while he watches me do my thing. His eyes follow my movements and only from time to time do I notice him glance at Carla. When I’m occupied with doing something Levi often watches Carla. He just doesn’t know that I know he does it. I hear my timer let out a sound and pull out the bread I put in. Levi looks at them interested and I set one on his plate after cutting it open. I set some things on the table so he can make himself sandwiches. He sets on doing just that. I finally eat my own breakfast and after glancing at me he huffed.

“Please eat your mouth shut kid. That’s just disgusting.”

I stop eating sudden flashes of Mikasa and Armin coming in mind and he looks just as startled and reaches to the tissues he somehow always has on hand.

“Why the fuck are you crying?” he asks harshly, but I can see the concern in his eyes.

He pushes the tissue on my face and I try to stop myself from letting past a sound. Honestly I didn’t even notice that I was crying. Carla reaches her chubby hands to try and do what Levi is doing and I give her my finger. She grips it tightly like she’s trying to comfort me.

“I just… miss my sister and my friends. She and my best friend used to say that to me all the time. I guess I missed it.”

“Hm.”

“Carla’s not one for conversations, you know.” I smiled as I poked her nose.

She giggled despite the fact that his father is still crying. She is a strong little girl and probably used to these outbursts as much as my boyfriend is. Levi waits for me to calm down before starting a conversation about his uncle. We are pretty used to these talks now. We share small details from time to time. He knows Mikasa’s not dead, and neither are my friends. Though he probably has collected that my parents are, since I don’t talk about them. I glance at the clock. Levi tells me that he will clean the table and I should get to work. I hum appreciatively and kiss his lips before getting on with my morning routine with Carla. Dress her, dress myself, wash her teeth, wash my teeth, check we have everything and get out of the door. We are almost out of the house in under an hour. Levi gives me a goodbye kiss before I leave and I head down to the kindergarten.

If I remembered correctly the college summer vacation started a week ago. There were a lot of college kids’ visiting home, one of them being Maria’s kid. She said he’ll come home today. Mrs Bodt also said he’d be graduating in few years. Mikasa and Armin would be graduating in few years too. I want to see that and maybe, just maybe, I will sneak into see how my sister and friends are doing. It probably isn’t a good idea, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to miss it even though they don’t know about it. I step into the kindergarten. I have Carla on my hands and she holds onto my neck tightly. There’s an awfully familiar looking guy scrutinizing my paintings with shocked eyes while a taller boy, who looks a lot like the head of the house is talking to one of the teachers. The said teacher sees me and the two turn to me as well as she greets me.

“Good morning, Eren! And Carla too of course.”

I’m frozen on the spot. By the looks of it Maria’s son, Marco has finally come home. Only to bring someone I know way too well. Jean and I stare at each other like we were deer in headlights. Marco smiles pleasantly at me.

“Mom did say we have a new guy that had a child. I never thought you’d be so young!”

“You’re a father? Eren what the heck is going on?” Jean growls startling Marco, Carla and Julie as well as Maria who had come from the room by the door.

I flinch and hoist Carla higher to my arms.

“You know each other?” Marco asks as I avoid eye contact.

“We are… were friends until he disappeared year and a half ago to thin air. Do you know how much Mikasa and Armin cried and worried?”

“Wait. Eren’s the missing brother?” Marco frowns at me.

“Oh yeah.” Jean glares at me and I bit my lip.

I set my baby girl down and kneel next to her.

“Sweetie, go with Julie, okay? She’ll play with you.” I say smiling as I run my hand over her cheek gently.

She glanced at Jean and Marco and then back at me nodding. She wobbles to Julie who looks at me too. I shoo her with a hand before sighing again. I finally look at Jean who has fierce anger in his eyes.

“And? What do you want me to say? Yes, I took off with my kid. Yes, I knew that Mikasa and Armin would cry and worry. Yes, I’m apparently the missing brother and friend. Never thought the first person to find out about this would be you though.” I go through my hair with my hand.

“Right! What else there is to fucking say!” Jean throws his arms in the air. “Maybe apologize or maybe tell them where you are? They cried for weeks. They’re still crying every time they look a picture of you.”

“Look, I won’t tell them and I won’t go back. It’s not like I will ever finish college and I’d rather not do that anyway. It costs tons of money you know.” I grumble and walk past the two towards my classroom.

“And what you’re just going to hide here in shame, ‘cause you apparently made a mistake.”

“I didn’t come here out of shame.” I hiss walking away from him.

He walks behind me with Marco in tow.

“Then what?”

“Fear? Or maybe I wanted a good life for her. Or maybe I just really wanted to start over.”

“What’s there to start over? You have a good family, you have friends? What the fuck is there to start over!”

I fell silent. I can’t say it. I can’t say it that it was a selfish wish of wanting to find myself a new family with a guy that I had lost. Never thought it actually happen. I chuckled darkly.

“There’s always things people want to redo.”

“And what you came here to chase love or something? It’s surprise you can even find a guy with a kid on your should-”

“Eren, you forgot your lunch box.” Levi strides in in full get up, looking pristine and stylish. “Are you having some kind of reunion?”

I look at him and motion him to me.

“Kinda. You really didn’t have to bring this.”

“And make you and Carla eat the shit they call food here? Hell no.” Levi says and sets the two lunches on the table before pulling me down and kissing me. “Are we still going to see that movie?”

“Oh, right. Yeah. Just tell Hange to pick up Carla and I’m good to go.”

“Sure. I’ll see you after work.”

“Okay. Don’t let Erwin push you around too much.”

“Like hell I will.”

I chuckle as he disappears to the hallway. Jean looks at the door like he saw a ghost.

“You gotta be kidding me. Do you have a sugar daddy?”

“Fuck no. I have a job you know. And savings. What the fuck is wrong with your thoughts?”

“Isn’t he like high class shit?”

“And what does that have got to do with anything? Has your brain finally screwed you over?”

“No! Just what the fuck does a man like him want with a young shitty kid like you.”

“For your information, he’s only three years older than you and we’re old acquaintances.”

“How the hell-”

“Anyway, I got my job to do, so get out horseface.”

“Hey! I’m so gonna tell on you.”

“Go ahead. It’s not like they couldn’t have found me. It wasn’t like I hid underground or anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if Armin had actually found me and just never told Mikasa or you for that matter.”

“Speaking of Mikasa, she’s started dating this girl called Annie.” Jean said. “I think she was a friend of Reiner’s and Bert’s.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah. She’s hella scary and has these blue deadpan eyes. She actually look a bit like Armin.”

“Holy shit.” my eyes widen and I drop my pen.

I never thought my sister would start dating the mother of my child.

“What?”

“N-nothing. How long have they been together?”

“For a few months. It think she freakout after she heard you disappeared and were Mikasa’s brother. I actually saw a honest to good look of shock on Annie’s face when she heard about it from Mikasa after we ended up speaking of you.”

“Haha. You don’t say. Then what happened?” I twidle nervously with the stuff on my desk.

“She said she felt a bit sick and went home in a hurry. Pretty funny, huh. I joked that she probably had something to do with your disappearance, but Marco hit me for that.”

“What the fuck is your problem. Don’t joke about such horrid things. I could have been dead for god’s sake.”

“But she really does look like a serial killer sometimes.”

“God. You such an asshole.”

Jean and I laugh while Marco smiles a bit. Even though we fought all the time we were better friends than most assume.

“So why are you actually here, mister stallion.”

“Oh. I came to visit Marco’s family since were dating and shit.”

“Don’t say it like that!” Marco blushes and punches Jean’s shoulder.

The horseface laughs.

“Hm. That’s great. I was waiting for you to come running to me in panic that you’re gay, but I guess I left before you had the chance to humour me.”

“Go fuck yourself, Jäger.”

“Sorry, got Levi to do that.”

“Right, right. He’s that boyfriend of yours?”

“Yeah. He looks like he’s pissed of half of the time, but he’s a cool guy.”

Suddenly Julie comes in to drop Carla off.

“Sorry, my first students came in.”

“No problem. I shouldn’t have pushed her on you anyway. Right, Carla?”

She nods.

“Now say thanks you to, Julie.”

The right words came quickly and nervously and the woman squeals.

“Gosh. She’s so cute.”

“I know right.” I laughs.

I lift Carla on my arms carefully and sit down. She steadies herself on my lap and plays with the pens on the desk as I turn to the two. Julie had escaped to her own class and Marco whispers something to Jean before leaving as well. Jean sits on one the small children’s tables and watches me work. My brows furrow as I looked through some paperwork.

“So she’s the one you ran away with, huh.” Jean chuckles. “We speculated that you ran away with some random guy after he wooed you with something shitty like trip to the Caribbean.”

“Well it’s the half truth since Levi and I ended up dating almost immediately after I moved here.”

“Wow. So you ran away with a baby and ended up hooking up with a handsome guy.”

“Something like that.”

“So you’ve been in Jinae this whole time?”

“I went to Shiganshina on the anniversary of my mother and father’s death.” I point out. “But otherwise, yeah. This is a nice town.”

“Marco said the same thing. Beaches and sunsets are really amazing here I hear.”

“They’re the most gorgeous things I have seen. You should go see one with Marco. It’ll be the best decision of your life.”

“Did you go with your hunk?” Jean smirks and I smile lovingly, though I don’t lift my eyes from my papers.

“We did. It really was the best date ever.”

I can’t stop the surfacing thought: _and I got laid there too_.

“Maybe I will go.” Jean answers thoughtfully.

Suddenly I hear the familiar voices of Seaward and Skyler as they ran to me.

“Eren! Carla! Good morning!”

“Hey! How are you two?”

“Mom brought us today!”

“S-she said dad will pick us up today.”

“He says he’ll keep his promise ‘cause he’s the king! He can’t betray the trust of his people.”

“Is that right. Isn’t he an amazing king?”

“T-the coolest!”

“Yeah! The coolest.”

Petra comes to the door.

“Sea, Sky, you’re in the wrong class.” she chuckles.

“Nah. It’s fine, Mrs Smith. I’m glad they like me.” but the two run into the next class laughing despite my words.

“They probably think you of some kind of a knight or prince. You are charming I must admit.” she giggles as I blush a bit.

“Well how can I not be? I’m tanned, muscular and young. To top that off I have a beautiful baby girl.”

“That you do.” she looks at Carla. “Hello there, sweetie. How are you today?”

“Hi. Good.” she nods like she did especially good with the limited words she still has as she was just a small child.

I pat her head before turning back to Petra.

“So who’s going to pick them up?”

“Either Erwin or Levi, I have a meeting about a case this evening, so I can’t do it.”

“Alright. I do hope to see Mr Smith. Sea and Sky are always happiest when it’s him or you.”

“I know, but with our busy jobs, it’s hard.”

“They do love Levi too though.” I laughs. “He always looks so annoyed when they grab his legs. He says he will dirty his pants, but he never tries to shake them of.”

“I know right!” Petra laughs as well. “He would be such a great dad. He is a great dad.”

“He is. He once told me that he definitely isn’t, but I just laughed and said that if he wasn’t, my kid wouldn’t like him as much as she does.”

“Certainly. Well, I better head off now that my darlings are safe and sound. Good day, Mr Jäger.”

“Good day, Mrs Smith.”

Jean watches her go and blinks.

“This is so weird. I never knew you were a people person.”

“Parents, for some really weird reason, have always liked me. I guess they think I’m cute or something.”

Jean chuckles and I smirk. I knew it. I’ve missed my friends. I love Levi and Carla and will never leave them, but he can’t be my only friend and his friends can’t fill that small friends part of my heart.

“So you’re not coming back? Like ever?” Jean asks.

“Probably. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I have a new life here and you are finally starting to get over the fact that I’m gone. It would be weird If I came back.”

“Is it a life you won’t regret?”

“Regret, huh? I might, but it’s a good life with the people I love and respect more than anyone. Even though I miss you guys all the time.”

Marco appeared at the door.

“Well, if you ever change your mind I think you would be welcomed back. Mikasa might beat you up and Armin might be angry at you. The rest of the group might cry and yell at you, but you’d definitely be welcomed back.” Jean leans into his hand.

“I’m not moving, but I’ll think about visiting you.” I hum.

Some of my students start rushing in and Jean gets up.

“Well. I think that’s my que to go. I’ll be in town for awhile so let’s catch up. And Eren-”

I look up at him.

“If you really are sure about it, I won’t tell them.”

“Thanks.” I smile brightly.

Maybe I will visit them. I have few years to think about it after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. That was much longer than the last one... (ΦωΦ) I always wonder how some writers can just go on and on and on and do some 20 000 word chapter. I mean it's nice, but I just can't do it. So my chapter are usually somewhere between 3000 and 10 000 words. I don't think they need to be much longer anyway. ╮(╯▽╰)╭  
> So yeah. Levi became a second dad to Carla. Kind of. He's still a bit nervous and not really sure of what he's doing, but he's getting there. I find Dad!Levi just as cute as Dad!Eren.  
> A WILD JEAN APPEARED! Although he's not so wild after all, since Marco has catched him and all. (Hehehe ര_ര) And Hange finally came into the picture. She'll probably have some more time in the later chapters, mostly when I do Levi's POV. Sadly I don't think Jean and Marco come up much. Only in passing, but they're there supporting Eren and slowly getting him used to the idea of maybe meeting up with his friends. Not sure if that'll happen, but we shall see. (๑´•д • `๑) I'm a bit worried.  
> So anyways as always leave a comment, because I get happy about that and who doesn't like making other people happy? (・・。)ゞ Was there enough love? Was there enough Dad!Eren? How about Dad!Levi? What do you think will happen next? Comments are the way to go!  
> Till next time! Toodles! ♡✧( ु•⌄• )


	3. Mostly about birthdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of birthdays. Like three. That's a lot in one chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! o(^◇^)o So 3rd chapter. Wow! Half way done. (•̀⌄•́) I got this done in time too. Amazing! Do tell me if there is some grammatical errors and comments are appreciated as always. ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ»  
> Some more random facts about this fic:  
> #1 I came up with this because of my friend and some other Dad!Eren fanfic, although by now I've literally forgotten what it was.  
> #2 I don't think it'll never comes up in this fic, but Eren hates horror movies just like me. I just hate how they never end well, although I hardly get scared by them.  
> #3 Those who don't know, the twins and Mikasa's birthday is on the 11th of february.  
> #4 It's gone past another grave visit and Christmas.  
> #5 If I've counted correctly Eren an Levi have been together for about 22 months at the end of this chapter.  
> #6 I wasn't going to add the last part, but I just really like going from everyones point of view. Like I like to show what goes on with others too, though I try to avoid it so it doesn't get messy. Or have any weird jumps.  
> Anyways! Go forward, dear readers! Path as a parent chapter 3 awaits!

It’s Carla’s second birthday. The baby girl is wobbling towards Hange who has a gigantic teddy bear. It’s larger than Levi and Hange comments on the fact which makes me laugh. My amusement is not appreciated, since Levi swats my arm more than annoyed. The party is much more subdued than the last one although it wasn’t exactly quiet with Seaward, Skylar and Carla running around the house. Moblit, Hange’s boyfriend, is here to keep Hange from going overboard this time. Petra and Erwin asked if they could go on a long awaited date night and of course me and Levi had nothing against it. We know it’s hard for Petra and Erwin to go to dates with their work always in the way and now the kids as well. So we let them go on their date. Hange is here to entertain us after all. I was finishing the cake while Levi and Moblit are talking by the door. Hange is playing with the kids. It seems to be hide and seek this time. I can hear her saying that the kids were too good at the game. I have a grin on my lips for the whole time even though I remembered that I forgot to ask something important from Levi.

We never talked about our own birthdays. Like ever. And well it bums me out to not know something so simple about my boyfriend who I have been dating almost two years. It bums me out even more that, most probably, I missed two of his birthdays already. Honestly speaking I forgot my own ones too. If I remembered them I would have probably cried so maybe it’s for the best. I would remember all the times my mother and father fought about the cake they’d buy for me. Or all the times Mikasa and Armin fought about the same thing. Or how I was always surrounded by huge amount of friends who’d throw me the most obnoxious, but the still the best parties.

So sue me if I don’t want to be reminded about my birthday, because the thought makes me sad. So of course if I don’t even remember my own, how would I remember to ask Levi’s. Besides it’s been busy two years. Even with Levi by my side I’ve been neck deep in taking care of my little one _and_ myself. It’s no wonder I forgot. Still I wonder how I could even forget. And how the fuck did I not notice the fact in almost two years. Well it wasn’t like it was a big deal, I think, but it’s still something basic you should know about your boyfriend. About the one you’ve been dating for almost two years. In about three months would be our anniversary, just few weeks after my birthday, and I wonder how I even forgot it in the first year, when there was no Levi to distract me. Maybe Carla was enough to distract me. Actually how had I forgotten all of his friends’ birthdays. Maybe I could forget the others, like Jean, but how about Armin? He was like family to me. Actually it’s been two years and I had literally forgotten things about my friends. Important things that mean a lot to me. I missed two of my friends’ birthdays. And  felt guilty about it.

It wasn’t like I was planning on sending them gifts, but it still hurt me to know my brain could just forget those little things that were important to me. To me and my friends. I sigh heavily. My hands had stopped working on the cake decorations a little while ago and my eyes are now staring at it unseeingly. I’m just lost in thought and before I know it, tears swell in my eyes. I want to go back in time and at least send a package to my friends. To Armin and Mikasa. At least to Mikasa. I still don’t know when, or if ever, I’m going to see them, so maybe I can send them presents. To all of them. Sending them presents so randomly is weird though.

“Maybe this is going to be harder than I thought.” I mumble only to be pulled out of my thoughts by Hange.

“What is hard? Making the cake?” she asks.

“Ah no. Just thinking about birthdays.”

“Oh! When’s yours? Mine is September 5th.”

“Mine’s March 30th.” I laugh at her enthusiasm.

“How has the grump celebrated your birthday so far?”

“We actually haven’t. I don’t even know when his is. Though I think last year we went out on my birthday solely on coincidence.”

“Oh? Levi doesn’t like talking about his birthday because everyone makes fun of it, though so I’m not surprised.” Hange cracks. “It’s on December 25th.”

I snort.

“I knew I dated the son of the god though. This just confirms my beliefs.”

“Oh my god! You’re hilarious. You didn’t even bat an eyelash when you said that.” Hange laughs. “So what is this about birthdays anyway?”

“I was just thinking that I forgot my friends’ birthdays the past years, because I’ve been so busy with Carla and Levi’s good at taking my mind of off important things.”

“Hmm. Then just say sorry and send them presents this year. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.” Hange answers at ease. “And finish that cake. I’m hungry.”

“Oh. A-alright.”

_Don’t make it harder than it has to be._

After Carla’s guests left and the party had officially ended pleasantly in laughs and smiles, I come to my wits end. I’m definitely overthinking it. I just have to buy a present and send it. First Historia, then Mikasa, then Ymir and the rest. It won’t be hard. Just small presents and letters. Nothing big. Nothing that would give away where I was, but something they would like. I smile and hope they will be happy with what I can give. At least for now.

I kiss Levi’s cheek before telling him I’d go grocery shopping while he cleans. He gives an affirmative nod before I leave. I go through some shops before finding a small, but nice gift. It was just perfect for Historia, so I ask for the shopkeeper to package it after I write a carefully, but quickly written, letter to my feisty friend. I send the package before going back home with my groceries. I somehow feel lighter. I feel better now that I had a connection to my friends again. I can’t give them anything more, yet, but sending presents and getting updates from Jean are enough.

I walk in to notice my apartment shining and I hum appreciatively. Carla’s nowhere to be seen, but Levi is sitting on the sofa watching the news intensely and I smile at him. I watch how his face change slightly at different types of news. I take my shoes and jacket off. I walk to Levi and hug him behind. I give him a light kiss on top of his head.

“I’m home.” I whisper into the almost silent room.

“Welcome home.” Levi whispers back and reaches for my hand.

Our hands slot perfectly together and his thumb caresses my hand gently. I jump over the sofa’s back and fall next to Levi. I lean into him and we continue to enjoy each other’s company in silence. There is nothing else I needed at the moment more than Levi’s gentle, calming touch.

Honestly it’s all I have ever wanted

 

* * *

 

 

Hange is crawling on the floor chasing Carla and Sky. Carla screams happily and Sky in the other hand seems terrified. Sea jumps in and saves her from the vicious monster that is my best friend. It’s the twins' birthday. They are now happy six-year-olds. Erwin and Petra are talking with some other parents while some kids stick around them only to get more sugar in them. Eren has disappeared somewhere and I really miss his presence. The brat could change the foul mood I'm in, but alas he's not here.

Eren found out about my birthday. He told me that he always knew that I’m holy. I answered with swat on his arm. I have no idea how he found out about it, but I’ll take a wild guess and say Shitty glasses. I never got around to ask about his from him. Honestly it’s weird, but then again he never said he wanted celebrate. Actually he's been pretty stressed since he met up with that friend of his. I hope the bastard didn't do anything.

He's been talking with this college friend Jean. It sounds fishy, but I trust Eren and apparently Jean is dating some Marco. Honestly it just kind of annoys me that Eren doesn't give me all his time anymore. But the meets are rare because the horseface is in college. They call from time to time only to speak about their friends and then he cuts off and cuddles with me.

We ended up finally sharing all background stories. I told him about how my uncle treated me like shit and beat me up from time to time. I told him about my street fighting. I told him how I used to live in a bad neighbourhood and my parents were murdered. I told him how scared I was about this being a father thing, because I never had a proper father. Eren didn't even bat an eyelash though he seemed angry at my uncle. He seemed ready to beat him up for me.

I was surprised to hear how irresponsible he was, but all make mistakes and he takes care of his "mistake". Now that “mistake” as become a precious thing to him, a treasure. He told me he never saw Carla as a mistake, but he’s scared that some of his friends will and he doesn’t want that. He told me how his parents died in a car crash just after I moved. He talked about his move and uncle. His new friends. How he hadn’t really felt at home after his parents’ death, not until he came here and build his own. He told me how he feared about his friends’ words and actions. He talked to me how he wasn’t confident at all. How even when he knew they probably wouldn’t do anything like what he imagined they could do, he was still so, so scared. He told me he was afraid of losing what he’d built here. At the end of the conversation he mentioned that next time he goes for a grave visit, he'll take Carla and me with him. It’d be a month or two before Carla's birthday. I’m hugged from behind, but I know immediately it isn't Eren.

"Hange, get off."

"No. You're being a grump. And have you seen Eren?"

"Why do you think I'm being a grump?" I glare at her and she giggles.

"Oh. That's why."

"Yes, that's why."

“Gosh. You’re so smitten with him.” Hange snickers and flops down next to me.

“Maybe.”

“So dishonest.” she pokes my side and I swat at her.

Suddenly I feel a tug on my pants and I know who it was before even looking. I soften my face before turning to Carla. She isn’t afraid of me, but I still try to make her comfortable. She looks at me with those beautiful eyes and tugs me again. I sigh and got up. She starts leading me around the house like she’s looking for something. Eventually I figure out she is trying to find his dad. We finally hear his voice in Erwin and Petra’s bedroom and it isn’t in that beautiful, flowy note it usually is. Eren sounds angry. Furious actually. He’s growling into the phone. I lift Carla to my arms before sneaking the door open.

“I said fucking no. I ain’t coming back. If I was, I would have said so. And don’t you fucking threaten me, you asshole.”

Eren paces.

“Like fuck I will! It’s not your fucking decision.”

Eren lets out a frustrated sigh.

“You know what. I don’t give a shit. Do whatever the fuck you want. What’s the fucking point in fighting with a bitch like you.”

Eren laughs darkly.

“And do you think I haven’t thought of it? But you don’t fucking get it. You don’t know Mikasa, like I fucking do. I build a life here. I fucking have a life and I want to keep it that way.”

His hand goes through his hair while the person, most probably Jean, talks.

“For fuck’s sake. Do I have to hold your hand and explain this to you. She’s controlling and protective in a way even I’m scared. It’s probably only with Armin’s help that she hasn’t gone on a rampage. I love her, I really do, but I don’t plan on seeing her in a while. Not yet. And I’m not planning to move back, which for the record, she would probably force me to do.”

Eren sits on the bed exhausted.

“I know, but would you just fucking listen. I’ve been thinking about it and yeah, I’ll find the right time to come back. I fucking will, but right now isn’t the time. Not even if it’s the most motherfucking coolest birthday present in the whole galaxy.”

Eren calms considerably after hearing what the other had to say this time and sighs in relief. I sigh in relief too. For some reason I don’t want him to go back. It feels like he will slip from my hands if he goes to visit his sister and friends. Maybe he doesn’t want to stay with me or sees how much better it will be if he stays with his friends instead of me. I know he loves me, I do, but I just feel insecure. After all we met in a situation where he was alone in a new city, in hind sight, still is. I can see how much he misses them all. It’s gotten better, but from time to time he looks so much sadder and sometimes he still cries. Sometimes it feels like I'm not enough and I know I’m not. I know I should never _be_ enough. He should have friends and a huge family that I, as an introvert and grumpy man who hardly talks to his family, can never give him. Eren always tells me that I’m a good father, if I wasn’t, Carla would never like me, but I still don’t believe his words. Even when the girl was sitting on my arms and hugging my neck. She’s almost clinging to me like she does onto her father.

Eren lets his head fall into his hands. He seems tired again. And perplexed. He’s been like this since last week. I guess it’s the notion of his sister’s birthday. He send something in mail to her. I saw him staring at the wrapped thing before he grabbed it and left with a shout of ‘I’ll be back soon, I’m just going to the post office’. Since then he’s been on edge and I’m sure he’s been turning his decision on his head over and over while trying to decide if it was a good idea or not. I didn’t know how to comfort him. Not about this.

He told me that he decided to leave his old life and build a new one so his sister didn’t have to worry about this. It wasn’t her mistake nor decision. It isn’t her problem. So he left. Maybe it was like that at start, but now it seems like he’s afraid of everything in general. Maybe this was a rash decision on his part, but now it’s done and he can’t change it. More like he won’t. After all he’s a hot headed and stubborn person. It was like that before all those years ago and it’s so now.

In high school I noticed him looking at me and when he wasn’t looking I looked back. I noticed those small things that made me fall in love with him. When he fought I could see how he regretted ever starting it even while fighting, but he never backed down. He always went through with what he had decided and I respected him for that.

Yet this and fighting was two different things. He wanted, needed, his friends and he’s just too stubborn and scared to go see them. Even if I’m insecure about this, I know I need to confront him on it. See what he wants to do. This isn’t just about me. I’m sure everything will be fine. I hope so at least.

I knock on the door and walk in. Eren lifts his head and looks at me. His smile is strained and Carla furrows her head into my neck. I lift my brows in silent question. He hums sadly.

“So you heard that?”

“I did.” I answer as I sit next to him.

“It was just Jean.”

“I figured. He wanted you to go back?”

“He did. Thought it would be an amazing present to her.”

“You won’t go.” I state as he brushes Carla’s hair gently.

“I just-”

“You don’t want to face them after you took a side step.”

“No, not really.”

“Mm.” I let out a hum as an understanding and he leans to me while closing his eyes.

“I don’t know what she’d do if she found out. I’m not sure what I’d do if she tried to rip me away from you. She doesn’t really trust my decisions and maybe Mikasa will see her as a prime example of that. I don’t want that. So instead of pondering why I did this run away thing, I decided to think of it as a time for me to collect my courage and think how I’ll go on. Figure out my road, you know.”

“You’re deciding between this or that?”

“I want both, but if I can’t have that as well, I’m going to build a life with this, with what I have.”

“You’re leaving your friends and family for me?” Even I think I sound shocked.

“Yeah. I’d rather take you and Carla than what I had. I love them, I do, but my life is my life and you’re the ones I love more. I’m going to feel bad about whatever decision I make somewhere along the road, but I’m sure this is the one I’ll feel the least bad about.”

“That’s a horrible thing to say to your boyfriend.” I mumble, but I will never hold this against him.

He told me honest thoughts and I understood perfectly. He will forever miss his friends and sister if he doesn’t get both this life and his old life, but my heart calmed the exact minute he said he’ll choose me and his daughter over that. He laughs at me though.

“You said you’d go back some time though.”

“I have been thinking about her graduation. They’ll be getting out of college and I thought it would be a good time. She doesn’t see me as an adult, but by then she’d have to build her own life. She has to start thinking about her own road and without me there for such a long time she might have figured it out already. She might have started thinking about her life not as Eren’s protector or sister, but as Mikasa.”

“And if she hasn’t?”

“Then I can’t do anything about it. I’ll see what’ll happen.”

“I don’t know why I still call you brat.”

“Because you’re embarrassed to call me any other way.”

“I was about to change my way of calling you, but then you went and made a bratty comment.” I sigh and he chuckles eyes sparkling.

“Oh, but I’m quite fond of the way you call me.”

“Really now.”

“Yeah.”

“God, you’re such a brat.”

He only smiles.

 

* * *

 

That same day, that evening actually, his phone starts ringing. We are sitting on the sofa after putting Carla to bed and he answers without a thought. I can hear Jean’s voice after Eren says a simple hello.

“Dude! I can’t believe you sent her something!”

“She didn’t like it?” Eren asks brows furrowing in worry.

“No! She loves it, but she pretty much started wailing when a postman brought it to her today. Armin tried finding a return address so they’d find you, but of course you didn’t write it.” He sounds displeased, but still somehow happy.

“You had fun today, right?”

“Of course. Look, you really don’t need to worry about her. She’s happy with her girlfriend and we’re doing our best to distract her from you. Just when you’re done with thinking over whatever is going on in that brain of yours, come back. Alright?”

“I’ll try.”

“Eren, I’m serious. We all miss you and we want you to come home.”

“Jean… My home is here. I built my home here and though I promise you that I’ll visit you soon, I won’t be moving back.”

“I knew you’d say that.” he sighs. “Anyway, I’ll keep you updated about shit.”

“Thanks.”

“See ya.” The call cut of and Eren stares at the phone like he remembered something.

He gets up and goes to the glass cabinet where all his photos are sitting neatly. The brat picks one out and brushes it a bit sighing. I walk next to him and saw that it was the picture of Carla’s mother.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“I’m kind of reluctant to throw this away.”

“And why are you throwing it away? Isn’t that the only pic you have of her mom.” I lift a refined brow.

“It is, but she doesn’t need a picture of her when she will be her aunt’s girlfriend.”

“What.”

“Annie-” Eren lifts the picture to tell me that she was the woman in the picture. “Is dating Mikasa. I think she told me she was bi, but never thought she’d end up falling in love with my sister.”

“And you’re throwing that picture away because you don’t want to ruin her relationship.”

“I knew you’d get it.”

“Instead of throwing that away why not give it to me.”

“What? Why?”

“She will never get it if it’s with me, so you can still see your newborn baby girl with a happy mother. I’ll put it somewhere safe _if_ we ever move together.”

“You don’t want to move together?”

“More like I like the option of having a spare house where we can fuck without a toddler running in on us. Makes you feel young.” I smirk when Eren blushes.

“I don’t feel old… That’s just you.”

“Sure you don’t.” I snatch the picture and slid it into my suitcase so I’ll remember to bring it home.

I then return to my boyfriend who is still standing by the cabinet now rearranging the few pictures he has.

“Maybe we should put a picture of us three in there.” I hum as I slid my hands around his waist and kiss his neck sweetly.

“It would be a nice addition. Oh and I could print few pictures of her up as well. There’s never enough baby pics.”

“You have established that with all those you’ve taken the past year.” I chuckle.

“But she’s so cute!” Eren gushes.

“That she is.” I mumble into his neck and add with a whisper. “And so are you.”

I can feel him tense and I’m sure if I touch his cheeks right now he will be on fire. He lets out some intangible noise and I smile. The brat hides his face into his hands as word garble came out. I just continue kissing his neck and shoulders. Eventually he turns around and pulls me into a kiss. We stumble to the sofa and make out on it without care of the time or the fact that I will have to get up at five tomorrow. Still I curl my hands in his messy hair that never seems to be in one exact position and has the cutest bedhead in the world. I never had these stupid, cheesy thoughts of anyone, but him and it’s embarrassing as hell to think that this dork can do that to me. I will never exchange him to anything else in the world though. I remember how envious I was of my cousin and her boyfriend when she talked about him in these cheesy as fuck words. I was jealous because I couldn’t understand it. I was jealous because it was something I wanted, yet didn’t think I could have. Now though, I understand so clearly every single thing she said. Now, I had that something I wanted.

Maybe I should grab these two and drag them to Sina. I haven’t met my cousin and my best friend in a while, since we’ve all been busy and I don’t want to see my uncle or his wife. But with Isabel I’m close enough to talk heart to heart. Isabel and Farlan were one of the better parts of the time I spent at my uncle’s place. She hated how my uncle and her mother had treated me, but it was fine. I got over it. Well after never really having a father or any example for that matter I never thought I’d be a very good father either, but Eren’s changing that bit by bit. So I’m really doing well despite my uncle’s actions.

_We’ll be fine. We’ll be amazing parents._

 

* * *

 

**_Trost College, evening_ **

 

I and some of the other’s who live at the dorm, including my beautiful girlfriend Ymir, are still at Mikasa’s dorm room. Annie, Mikasa’s girlfriend who lived quite far away will stay the night is there too. Jean and Marco already left. Connie and Sasha are playing Mario Kart and drinking. Bert, Reiner and Annie are talking calmly in the corner of the room while Mikasa sat next to me, Ymir and Armin are staring at the package that arrived earlier today. We all know it’s from Eren. There was a letter inside just like there had been in mine. The letter is obviously written in Eren’s hand writing and his signature is at the bottom. The date had been written on the letter is on the top with greetings. The others had concluded that it is better to leave Mikasa be until she figures out what she’s feeling, but I feel bad about hiding the present I got from Eren. It’s a hairpin with a large flower that was the color of my eyes. It fit me perfectly and Ymir even complimented it.

I take the letter from my pocket and read it over.

_January 11th_

_Hey, Historia, It’s Eren._

_I know it’s been a while and you’re probably thinking why I’m sending you this small gift out of the blue after two years. I’m guessing you being the smart cookie you are, you’ll say “guilt” and that’s the part reason. I may not ever tell Mikasa this, but being this alone, even when I’ve made new acquaintances, is hard. I… I’m not sure what to tell about this exactly. I was thinking that you’re guessing that I ran away with some old hunk being the “crazy” Eren you all know me as, but it’s not true, not really. I have my reasons for disappearing and when I figure out what I want to do, I’m planning to meet you all. I don’t know what else to say, but sorry for causing all this trouble. I know Mikasa cried. I know Armin is worried. Hell I’m guessing Jean said he’s going to beat me up if he ever finds me. Still, time is still young and I’m not ready to come back. I’m scared of what you’re going to say. I’m scared of how you’re going to react. Maybe that’s why I ran- maybe I just wanted a new start until I’m ready to admit what happened. Sorry, my thoughts are all messed up and I know this won’t make any sense, but I’m trying to explain this to you anyway. More than anything though, I want you to know that I’m doing fine. I miss you guys, but I have a new life here where I am and I’m happy. I do honestly miss you guys though and if it’s possible, when I’m ready, I want to have both the life I have now and the life I had before what happened. I want to form a whole new life from the two._

_Also, I know this isn’t fair to you, Historia, but I ask you to not tell Mikasa yet. I’m going to send her a gift as well, but I want her to not stress about this. Not yet at least. I hope after two years she’s somehow moving on, but I know she still worries and thinks about me. I know you all probably do. But a month is not too long of a time. When you do tell them, which I’m sure you will, tell them I love them all, even if I might write it that on Mikasa’s letter as well. Mostly it will be solely for her. God knows she’ll need it._

_I wish you a happy birthday, Tori._

_I’ll see you again, Eren._

I don’t find it in myself to stop the voice that comes my mouth.

“Hey, guys, I have something to show you.”

“What is it, Historia?” Armin asks worriedly glancing at the letter in my hand.

The others turn to me as well.

“I… I’ve been hiding something from you guys for the last month. Mostly because he asked me to, but also because I wanted to see if he would keep his word about Mikasa’s present, but… now I want to tell you.”

Mikasa frowns.

“What is it?”

“Eren sent me a present a month ago-” I point at my hairpin that is holding my hair out of my eyes. “This hairpin. He also put a letter in it.”

I hand it to Mikasa who instead gives me the one Eren had sent her. I start reading it while the room falls silent. The tension is so heavy you can almost touch it, but I push the thoughts away as I concentrate at the cursive that is Eren’s handwriting.

_February 4th_

_Hi, Mikasa._

_I bet you’re crying right now, so I’ll start with my apologies. I’m sorry for leaving like this. I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you for the last two years. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry I can’t tell you what happened yet. I’m sorry I’m hiding the things that happened. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry this is the first time you even know that I’m alive in two years._

_But you know, I’ll continue with congratulating you. I want to wish you a happy 24th birthday because you’re part of my important family. I want to congratulate you for moving on and being the strong older sister I’ve always know you as. I want to wish you good luck with your studies even though I know you’re acing those tests and projects. I want to wish you good luck in love. I’m hoping you have found someone in these two years, since you had had time for yourself, I’m sure. You didn’t have to baby sit me anymore after all. Even though I love you, it’s time for you to live your own life, sis._

_I also wish that for you, because since I have met someone to love. Not like I love you and Armin as family or the rest of our group as friends, but as a lover and a boyfriend. Someone I cherish because he’s strong and wise. Someone who supports me on my ups and downs. He loves me no matter what has been thrown at him. We had had our fights: mostly because his job is time consuming and I am still a brat after all and get lonely. But we have each other on good and bad days and we trust each other._

_So don’t worry. I won’t be getting into trouble. I’m not dead either. I have a job and I’m happy here. I’m finding my way little by little and taking small steps with his help. I’m missing you though. I’m missing Armin too. And the rest of our group. I think it was sometime last year I cried when my boyfriend told me to not speak with my mouth full. It reminded me of you and Armin. Just like I was throwing a birthday party last month and remembered all those obnoxious, but most amazing birthday parties you guys always threw for me to make me forget about mom and dad._

_Which reminds me, did you visit their grave last year? I know it’s not the same without me, but I am not lost to you and I wish you’d visit them. If it’s too hard for you, you don’t have to go though it. I visited them of course, not with my boyfriend though. I hadn’t told him about them then and he hadn’t shared much about his past until some time ago. So we hadn’t gone together, but this year, maybe, if his job allows him, we’ll go together. It’d be a long drive though. I’m sure mom and dad would be happy to see their daughter doing fine. Ask Armin to go with you too. You can visit his grandfather as well. I left them all flowers last year. Mom’s favourites to our parents and those blue flowers that grew in grandpa Arlert’s garden for the old man._

_I wish I could tell you more, but I’m just not ready yet. Besides I’d rather tell you face to face, but I’m too scared to face you and our friends. It was stupid to run like this, but I really did think I needed to start anew. I needed a clean slate to think through. Think about what I want. I’m being selfish and I know this isn’t fair to any of you, especially you with me being your last blood relative, but know that I’m not leaving you. I’ll come back to visit you when I’m ready._

_The word visiting might sound harsh to you, but I have build a life here in these past years. I have a boyfriend. I have an apartment. I have a job. I’m doing things I like. I have made friends. I have made acquaintances. That’s why I need you to understand that I can only visit you. I’m not planning on moving back to Trost. I want to live here. And most all, I’m sure a little distance between us can’t break our strong bond. I’m sure you and Armin won’t stop caring about me just because were not attached onto each other by our hips. I’m sure even the rests of our friends will stay as our friends even when they are building their own lives and paths. So Mikasa, stop worrying and live a little. Fall in love. Build something out of it. Make a small family of your own. I’m sure whoever she or he will be, they’ll be happy to have someone amazing as you._

_I love you, Mikasa. I hope you liked the gift. It’s not much, just a red scarf, same kind I gave you when you were little, but I just want you to know I’ll be there even when you can’t see, hear or feel me. I think of you more often than not. I just needed to tell you._

_Stay safe and dress warm. It should be cold there, still._

_With love and warm wishes, your brother Eren_

I blink. It is much longer than mine, but it’s just as carefully written. Like he knows more than he tells. Well Eren did, but it’s not about his disappearance. It’s about our lives. It’s like he knows Mikasa is feeling guilty about falling in love with Annie. It’s like he knows more than he should. I frowned. It’s like he became more like Armin while he was away. Like he planned every word with weird accuracy, like his best friend would have. Like he knows exactly what he is doing although he still has that Eren like chaos written all over the letters. I notice that there are slight parts where you can get clues of where he is, but they’re not enough to tell where exactly. Besides they would just be guesses.

“What did he tell you Historia?” Connie asks worriedly.

“He told her to tell you that he loves us. And that he misses us. That he’s planning to come back to meet us and explain, but he’s not ready yet. That it was hard for him to live on his own, but he’s built a life out there.” Mikasa spoke. “That he wants to somehow have both this life and that, but he’s scared of what you’ll, what we’ll say. What will happen and if that’s possible.”

“Well telling us that is not exactly fair. Actually just leaving without any kind of fucking explanation is fucking unfair.” Reiner booms from the corner.

“He says he knows.” I answer. “He knows it, but he just can’t tell us yet. He said to me that if it’s possible, he would like to have both lives, but I’m sure he’s aware that that may not be possible. He knows that it’s up to us to decide.”

Armin hums.

“From what I can get of from the letters, he’s grown up a bit. He’s thinking things through and thinking about the options. Going through probabilities. Even though he tells that he has a boyfriend now, he doesn’t tell why he left. Only that his boyfriend is not the reason.”

“So he’s still a full blown asshole.” Reiner grumbles.

“Some things don’t change.” Connie muses.

“Though he does seem to know exactly what Mikasa wanted to hear and even knew the exact words Jean said.” Armin hums amused. “He knows us better than he lets us know. Well I’m not surprised. His hobby is people observation after all.”

“God. I forgot how creepy that could get.” Ymir crinkles her nose and Sasha laughs.

“I remember when he told Connie that I loved him and told him to stop being a wuss and confess.”

“He looked pretty angry when he said that. I mean I was sure I was going to shit my pants.” Connie laughs as well.

“He always told me that he hated people who couldn’t do a shit.” Bert chuckles. “That made me walk up to Reiner and tell him about my feelings you know. I valued Eren’s friendship, so I didn’t want him to hate me.”

“He always knows what to say to me. He always knows if I’m angry or sad even when nobody else notices. I don’t know how he knew about my insecurities even when it looks like he’s hundreds of kilometers away.” Mikasa smiles and then looks at Annie.

“He always, _always_ listen to me even when he couldn’t understand anything. But he still listened intently and remembered these little things nobody else did.” Armin huffs. “I still remember when I was trying to explain about the project I was doing to the teacher and forgot what it was about. He heard my conversation as he walked past and told me the exact words I was looking for.”

“He’d pretty amazing. I don’t know what he’s so scared of.” I sigh. “There’s no way any of us would hate him over anything. He’s an asshole, but he still amazing and helpful. He’s even Jean’s support. Without him speaking to Jean about being gay, I’m pretty sure he’d never realise it. Sometimes we trust him more than our own decision.”

“That’s true.” Connie laughs and suddenly Annie speaks up, eyes on the floor an uncomfortable look on her face.

“Has anyone told that to him? To Eren. I mean has anyone considered that he might have his own problems too? I mean it’s none of my business and I didn’t even know him, but it sounds like the fact you never told him made him pretty insecure. Especially about you Mikasa. I mean you talk about him a lot and it sounds like he was scared you’d do something rash and didn’t trust his decisions. He does seem to try his best.” Annie sighs. “I’m not attacking you guys or anything, but cut the guy some slack.”

The room has a pregnant silence, but soon there is a sigh from Armin as well.

“Maybe you’re right.” he says then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly some relationship and character progress between/in Levi and Eren. As I'm sure you got from this chapter that both of them are pretty insecure about what they can and cannot do, about the things they're able to do. Those things usually show in relationships, not just romantic, but platonic as well, so Eren and Levi are taking the actual telling about your feelings thing rather slowly. They can read each other since they both that kind of people who kind of talk with their body motions than actual mouth. With Eren's is the fact that he doesn't find the right words and with Levi it's because he just doesn't feel comfortable in showing his week sides. (Feelings can be a weak point. Especially with someone who is actively trying to find ways to hurt you. Hint: Levi's uncle.) (๑-﹏-๑)  
> So yes they can obviously tell that they care about each other a great deal, but no they haven't actually told each other. Telling about their pasts was actually a huge thing for them. Levi had the weakness thing and Eren was mostly scared of disappointing his boyfriend. But look forwards to the moment when they finally tell each other.  
> ٩(♡ε♡ )۶  
> And do not worry, although there wasn't much of that dad side of either of them showed in this chapter, I'm planning to show some more of it in next chapter. So that is also something to look forwards to. Little Carla won't be forgotten, since she's important part of this fanfic. ヾ(๑╹ヮ╹๑)ﾉ”  
> Also a big shout out and a red +A to the person with the pseudonym 'my thoughs' for guessing right. (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ It won't happen in a while yet, but Eren is planning on going back when he feels that he's ready. Also I don't think I thanked this wonderful person about commenting either so here it is: Thank you for commenting and all the love ♡ to wherever you are! You made my day!  
> ヾ（ ❀◕◡◕ฺฺ ）ノ  
> This goes for anyone who comments of course.  
> Last but not least: I got a good number from my math test. I just felt the need to tell you all, since I mentioned it on the notes of the last chapter. Hope none of you lost your sleep because of that. ( •᷄⌓•᷅ )  
> But yeah. I think I've talked a little bit too much, once again, so I'll stop here. (*´∀`*) I've put up my tumblr on my description on my profile page, but since hardly anyone looks that stuff up it's moimoisweden.tumblr.com  
> It's super duper hard to guess, right? （ ಠωಠ）  
> You're welcome to ask questions and message me about whatever bothers your mind. (๑ゝڡ◕๑)  
> Anyways, I'm out! Bye bye! (*・∀・)ノ゛


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family trips and what not. Some Hange here and Dad!Eren and Dad!Levi there. A qutesy chapter? I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, hello. Sorry I'm a day late. I was reading to a test yesterday so haha. (I'm sorry, I didn't mean to forget! Please forgive me (シ_ _)シ) I lost a good amount of time to proofread this and stuff, so I couldn't read to my other test much, but fuck that. Who needs a reading plan. (Please pray for me! I want to get a good grade.ヾ( ๑´д`๑)ﾂ )  
> Right. proofreading. Hmm. I write and check these myself so... yeah. I don't think I've apologized for writing mistakes, so I think that would be approriate. I'm sorry for any mistakes that are in this OR in the chapters before this OR the chapters after this. (๑ó⌓ò๑)  
> But I don't think I have any random facts right now, so I'll let you get straight to reading!  
> #I'mDyingHereInSuspenceToGetYourComments  
> Chapter 4 of Path as a Parent, ENJOY!

The time passed on quickly with me, Eren and Carla. I had no idea how fast time could fly. Eren started sending gifts to his friends on their birthdays. He sent Jean one as well, although it wasn’t really necessary. There was a letter in it to show to their friends even when they talk on the phone from time to time. Eren and I fell into a routine and right now I’m honestly happy with my life. Our three year anniversary came and went, but we had decided to spent just the two of us. We sent Carla to Hange who was glad to help out. I took him out to a real restaurant for a change and we ended up having steamy sex in my apartment that is practically empty aside from my few decorations and furniture. My stuff has slowly moving to Eren’s apartment past the years and I’m thinking of asking if he wants to move together, but then I always remember we’ll need sound proof walls so I can have my way with him after Carla is asleep. And my apartment is much more convenient than looking for an apartment or a house with that kind of qualities. So I keep my apartment for those steamy night we just want to escape parenthood.

In the summer Eren spent some time with Jean and Marco, which didn’t bother me after I actually met the saint that was Marco and saw the looks Jean gave him. The horseface, as Eren eloquently calls him, was never going to leave the freckled saint. So I try hard not to not be jealous that Eren is actually using his time on someone else other than me and Carla. I noticed some time ago how much I actually want to monopolize him and it scares me a bit. It scares me because I knew he wants to go meet his friends. He wants to be with them and they live kilometers away. Hundreds of kilometers away. Meeting them took time and if he ever grows tired of that then what? Will he go to his friends, who were many in numbers, will he just grab Carla and move back to Trost? Leave me behind?

Despite Eren’s reassuring conversations and gentle words, I never stop worrying about that. It isn’t a new fear, but every time I see Eren laugh with Jean and Marco or hear him happily speaking on the phone with either of them that fear just becomes harder to shake off. Still, I want to believe in Eren’s word and hope that the beautiful brunette will stay with me.

And so came the dreaded December. It’s December first when I and Erwin go to the kindergarten together. Me to pick up Carla and Eren, he to pick Seaward and Skylar. As usual we are late, but Eren is speaking to the two animatedly and then when he hears our dress shoes he lifts his head and smiles widely at us. Sea and Sky run to the father and Carla wobbles after them to me.

“Levi.” She simply greets and hugs me.

“Carla.” I answer back and pat her head.

She giggles while the two blonde kids squeal as their father spins them around. Eren is slowly walking towards us with a small happy smile on his lips.

“Nice to see you two.” he says and kisses my cheek.

“Hm. Good to see you too.” I answer while Erwin just nods.

“How has your day, Eren?”

“Oh, it was okay. Kids running around and skillfully painting everything and anything.” Eren grins and shows how he didn’t actually minds. “In fact, today I had Sea and Sky’s class. Do you want to see their paintings?”

“I’d love that.” he says proudly.

Eren shows Erwin’s kids’ works while I lean to the wall and let the little brunette crawl all over me. She pulls my hair and clothes until she gets bored and turns to look for her father. When she gets agitated that Eren doesn’t pay attention to her, I pat Carla’s head knowing that she likes that and it calms her. Eventually Eren, the two kids and Erwin return to the door. Erwin is smiling like a proud father does when they see their kids doing something nice.

“Since Levi already promised and then forgot, I’m going to ask you to free him for a grave visit.” Eren says suddenly and Erwin looks at him baffled.

“Uh.” well this is a first, Erwin Smith stuttering. “I guess that’ll be fine? When would that be?”

But then again, Eren is good at surprising my friend. If I remember correctly he surprised Hange as well.

“The 8th. He’d need the the whole day. Shiganshina is far away.”

“Then I’ll mark it down.” He answers still looking a bit surprised that Eren is being so straightforward with him, hell I am too. “It will be taken off his vacation days on the summer though.”

Eren looks at me and I just nod that it’ll be okay.

“It’s fine. Thank you mr Smith.”

“Call me Erwin.”

 

* * *

 

We leave in the morning and drive for six hours. It’s hell. We have to stop from time to time because of Carla’s diapers have to be changed and she needs to eat. I ask Eren if it was like this the first time, but he only says he drove the whole way without stopping. I hate car trips and I hate driving, so Eren was the one to drive even though I know how to drive. It’s close to midday when I notice the change in weather. It’s fucking cold. It’s snowing and I wonder if the car has the right kind of tires for this kind of weather. It’s also freaking freezing and I notice how Carla is shivering on the back seat. I don’t say anything though. I didn’t take warmer clothes, since I didn’t think about the weather changes between Jinae and Shiganshina. I had completely forgotten how cold Shiganshina can get in the winter. I wonder why we were slowing down, but I see a sign pointing to Shiganshina. My gorgeous boyfriend takes the turn and suddenly stops at a diner. I’m about to ask why, but he already stepped out. I can see that he is wearing nothing but a thin white t-shirt and I shiver just from watching him. The snow is falling on his skin as he walks to the trunk of his car and opens it. I can’t see what he is doing, but soon enough I see him dressed in warm clothes and all bundled up. I would lie if I said that I don’t think that he looks cute.

He has more clothes on his arms and he opens the back seat door on Carla’s side and the baby girl looks at him surprised.

“Hi, baby. Wanna see snow?”

“Snow?”

“Snow.” Eren grins and helps the girl out.

She is already amazed by the miracle that is the car and now she will see snow. Jinae hardly ever has any snow and even when it does, it melts so quickly it doesn’t even last a day. So snow is a new thing for Carla and even I haven’t seen it in years. She looks flabbergasted as she hears the sounds and feels the softness of it. She is about to jump into it, but she is pulled straight by the stern hand of her father. I sigh in relief. I don’t want her to get wet and then sick.

“These first. Otherwise you’re going to get sick like last time. You should dress warmly into the cold.” Eren says.

I move out of the car when Eren starts dressing our baby. He takes her little hands and helps her into a warm winter jacket when she struggles to push them through the sleeves. A comfy looking woolly hat makes its way onto her brown haired head and Eren after that makes her wear a tiny pair of ski pants. She hops into them excitedly and eyes all sparkly. Lastly Eren helps her daughter to wear a small pair of water resistant mittens before kissing her forehead and sending her into the snow with a smile. There are so many new things happening and she seems happy to explore as she jumps into the white, puffy snow. I walk to his side as he watches Carla play. She screams and giggles as she goes and despite the cold freezing my face, a smile lifts the corners of my mouth up. I wrap my arms around me to stay warm as I get lost in the ball of happiness that is Carla Jäger. I just can’t believe that I have the privilege to see her grow like this. To see all these small achievements of hers. I don’t notice Eren’s movement until a warm winter jacket is pushed on me.

“I took the liberty of bringing you one, since I knew you’d forgot to bring one as in you haven’t been here for so long you have forgotten.” Eren chuckles.

“Thank you.” I say truly thankful about my wonderful boyfriend.

How did I ever live without him?

“Come on. Let’s walk around a bit. Carla is already playing anyway.” he laughs as he turns his eyes to the girl who is throwing around the snow.

“Soft! So soft!” She screams happily and I chuckled.

We walk around, still close enough to see Carla by glimpses and hear her happy laughs. I give Eren well deserved kisses and hugs as we go and notice how much happier he looks compared to the last two years. I don’t remember him crying this year either. Maybe it’s helping him that me and Carla are next to him. I can’t be sure, but whatever it is, I’m happy that he’s happy. Eventually we have to continue our way. Eren checks the clock as I put Carla back to the car. She almost kicks me as she tries to fight against me and I dodge it expertly. She obviously really liked the snow and now doesn’t want to go home and I know for a fact that she will be angry at us for a long time for this. As I fought with the baby girl Eren went to pick up some warm drinks for us from the diner. He brought hot chocolate for Carla, tea for me and coffee for him. Carla calms down as she drinks her drink, hot chocolate comes as a tough third in the competition for her favorite foods and drinks and what better way is there to silence your child than to bribe her? We drink before we continue our way.

It isn’t long before we stop again, but this time it’s a flower shop. My boyfriend tells us to wait in the car. I watch him determinedly pick specific flowers before going to the lady at the counter. She smiles that smile reserved to people you know and I wonder if they know each other because of something else that isn’t Eren’s grave visits. There’s just so many things I don’t know. So many things I want to know. Eren seems to say goodbye to the lady and sits back to the car. He hands the flowers to me before we continued our way. Soon Eren parks at a cemetery. Carla is excited to get out again. This time she attaches herself to me instead of Eren. My boyfriend just pats her head and tells us where to go instead of leading the way. I frown, but he just lifts an eyebrow. I huff then following the trail Eren told me to go, noticing that he goes to a fully different direction. He sets the blue flowers on front of one of the graves and says something that the wind doesn’t carry to me as I walk farther away with Carla whose hand is in mine. As my mind gets distracted with Carla who is gently kicking the snow with her shoes, Eren hurries to my side and we walk the rest of the way together. We are silent until there is a whisper from Eren.

“I’m glad they came this year.”

“Who?”

“My sister or Armin or maybe both.”

“How do you know that?”

“They left flowers, see?” he nods towards a grave and I can see that it says Jäger and under that Grisha and Carla with birth and death date. I look at the white lilies lying in front of the grave and how the top of the grave has been cleaned of the snow. They have been here recently, since it’s still snowing and there’s hardly any there. Their steps were fresh on the ground as well.

“Hi, mom, dad.” Eren greets. “I brought some family today. The ones I talked about last time.”

 _He talked about me before this_.

I’m not given more time to think when I hear Eren introduce us. I stay silent and Eren continues on. He’s speaking about the things he has done in the past year. About Carla and her adventures. About me. About his family. About his friends. Mostly about me and Carla. I stand there unable to say anything to them. Carla is just confused, but she’ll get it when she was older, I’m sure. Eren talks to them for awhile before getting up and walking away with a “small see you again”. When I don’t move he turns around. Carla looks between us confused.

“Go to daddy, I have to say something too.”

“Levi?” Eren calls as Carla hurries to him.

“I’m coming in a minute.”

He nods just as confused as Carla and begins walking away with our daughter.

“Hello. Or should I say nice to meet. I’m never been good with this social shit, you see.” I chuckle. “But your son fell in love with me anyway. He and his beautiful daughter seem to like me enough to let me in their family and I’m grateful. I’m grateful, because I’ve loved him for years by now and I never thought he’d reciprocate them, not again at least. In fact I didn’t even think I’d meet him again. What I’m trying to say is that I hope you give us your blessing. I’d be thankful for it, since we’ve gone through a lot. Both him and me. So I guess we deserve some happiness and for me it’s him and Carla. And I hope I am the same to him.”

I try to look for words for a moment.

“Well I guess that was all I wanted to say, to ask more like. I know it’s a lot, but if you give me that, I promise to never let him go. Not like I’d want to anyway. I’m sure you’re aware that he’s a pretty amazing person. You seemed to be some surreal parents to raise a kid like him. He’s just… everything anybody could ask for. You don’t even know how amazing that brat is. I think he himself doesn’t know it.”

I chuckle again.

“Well, I better go. I guess we’ll see next-”

“Excuse me?” I’m interrupted, by a quiet voice of a woman.

I turn to her. I feel like I should recognize her from somewhere, but I don’t know where. So I move a bit and let her set the flowers down on the grave. They are white lilies just like Eren’s flowers are. Eren’s parents must have really liked them.

“Did you know them?” the girl asks suddenly, looking suspicious of me.

“Not personally, no.” I answer. “No need to look at me so judgingly. I came for a grave visit just like you. Besides I was just about to go. Mr and mrs Jäger, I’ll see you next year.”

I wave my hand as I go and as I could feel a pair of eyes on my back.

Eren welcomes me into his warm arms by the car.

 

* * *

 

 

I’m busy as hell. I haven’t seen Eren in a week and it’s five days to christmas. His vacation started today and he asked me if he should cook a portion for me too. I stare at the huge pile of crap on my desk and sigh in defeat. I haven’t been out of the office for more than six hours in the whole week. I’ve really started to miss Eren and Carla. I never thought I’d miss the kid too, but she’s grown on me. And I can’t talk to her by texting though even texting is not nearly enough for me to go by. I’m missing Eren’s body heat, the brat’s like a furnace. I miss his stupid, sparkly eyes and that cute laugh. I miss the feeling of his soft brown hair and his hands _on_ me. And I’m so used to hear him humming or his baby girl running around the house that it’s been hard for me to even go home because it sounds too empty to not hear neither. Of course they wouldn’t be awake at one in the morning when I usually get home, but it still feels lonely. It was never like this before. My bed didn’t feel so cold. My work days didn’t feel this long. My house was never that empty. I didn’t spend my sleeping hours to think about if Eren’s going to leave me because I haven’t seen him and my texts are way too brief. I had never worried about anything like this before.

And then a call came. I first think that it’s Eren so I pick up it without thinking and answer it with a most easy sounding voice I have right now. It still comes out as a growl full of tiredness.

“Levi! You sound angry? Did I call at a bad time?” Isabel babbles and my eyes widen in surprise.

“Depends. If you count being buried in paperwork busy then yes. Not like I don’t want a reason to take a break so please say it’s urgent.” there’s a certain desperation in my voice.

I honestly do want a break. I’d rather go to Eren if I really had a time for one, but I actually don’t. Erwin is pushing paperwork to me with the excuse of his kids and it’s annoying the hell out of me, because even if Carla isn’t mine, I was pretty close to being another father for her. I’m so fucking close to saying ‘fuck it’ and leaving him to deal with his damn paperwork.

“Sure. It’s very urgent that you hear me out after all.” Isabel laughs.

“Thank god.” I huff as push away from my desk and lean back.

I think about going for a walk, but decide against it. Even if I have been sitting here for seven hours without moving one step out of this chair. I came here long before my damn boss or any of the workers and they just push me their fucking errors and problems. They could fucking do their fucking jobs instead of pushing them to me. I haven’t even eaten anything for fuck’s sake.

“So?” I ask while closing my eyes. “What do you want?”

“Oh don’t be such a grump, bro.” she giggles. “I’ve been thinking that I miss our little conversations and Farlan said he misses you too. After all we were inseparable when we were younger and it’s been years since we last met, so…”

Now that Levi thought about it the last time he met up with them was months before he met Eren again. Still, it didn’t mean that he’d go anywhere near his damned uncle.

“I’m so not coming to Sina.”

“Actually, I was thinking of coming there.” Isabel says uncertain. “It’s been years since we spent Christmas together and well Farlan and I have been thinking how it’s really not same without you. Besides mom and dad haven’t spent christmas with us either and it would be nice chance.”

“You’re thinking of coming on Christmas?” I ask surprised which caught my cousin’s, more like sister’s, attention.

“Yeah, why? Is there a problem?”

“Well, no, not technically at least.”

“Not technically? What’s the problem?”

“I have someone to spend it this year. And even if I didn’t I’d still be dragged to Hange and Erwin’s horrible Christmas party after they catered his kids off to some poor baby sitter.”

“What!? You have a boyfriend after all these years and you haven’t told me! Who could be better than your high school crush?” she asks, yells actually, shocked straight to my ear.

_Who haven’t I told about Eren? Drunk me should keep his mouth shut._

“Goddamn it! Stop yelling to my ear, Isabel.”

“Sorry.” She squeaks, but returns then to her normal voice level. “So that means a no?”

“That’s why I said technically. I’d have to ask him and since we haven’t had time make plans. I’d be a shitty boyfriend if I didn’t ask.”

“That’s true. Remember to tell him it’s your birthday. Maybe he isn’t one of those assholes you say it’s your birthday present and Christmas present.”

“He already knows.” I sigh. “Somehow I wish he didn’t. The brat is annoying about these things.”

“Brat? You’ve become a cradle robber?” she exclaims horrified.

“Of course not. Jesus. You’ve become more obnoxious than before.”

She laughs.

“So he’s younger anyway, since you never call people who’ve older than you like that.”

“And what if I suddenly did?”

“Beh. You like younger. Brats are you’re type ‘cause you’re pretty immature yourself.”

“You’re the only person on this planet who calls me immature. And I’m not immature.”

“You so are. Anyway who’s this “brat” who caught your eye?”

“You’ll see when you meet him.” I say when yawn cuts me from calling her an asshole. “Anyway I’ll talk to him and text you.”

“If he says no, we’ll be coming after Christmas. Be ready, bro!” She shouts before cutting off and I cringe at the loud voice.

I’m definitely feeling a headache coming and it isn’t pleasant. I stare at the paperwork and got up. I’m so done with my boss’s crap.

_Don’t get kids if it gets causes problems with your work, goddamn it._

I have my hand on his office door when that thought stops me, since I want to see Carla too. Aren’t I being a hypocrite here. If I want to see a kid I thought as my own, I shouldn’t complain about others wanting to see their children too. I drop my hand from the handle defeated and growl annoyed. I’m about to go back to my office, since I’m losing important work time by just standing here getting annoyed by my own messed up thoughts, when the man I was about to go yell at comes waltzing from the elevator looking just as tired as me. He looks sick and I frown deeply. He lifts his eyes from the paper he’s reading and smiles at me faintly. I glare at the bead of sweat at his neck and then at him. He lifts his eyebrows in question.

“Levi, what a pleasure to see you. What are you doing here?” he asks and his usually strong voice has a waver in it.

“I’d say the same, but it’s really not when you’re not helping my workload at all.” I lean to the door he’s about to open easily stopping him from doing so.

I may be small, but I have muscles and they are enough for me to stop him from moving the door without force.

“Levi.” he says in a disapproving voice.

“Go home.” I growl raising my voice first time in years.

He flinches at the sound of my voice that is louder than usually. He looks into my darkening eyes and I can see that he’s about to refuse, but I stop him with a sigh and raised hand.

“Look, I’m going to have to proof read every fucking shitty thing you write even if you write them, so go home and get better. I can fucking hold this piece of crap up until you’re back to health.”

“It’s the busiest season, I can’t just go home.” Erwin argues.

“You’re doing more harm than good by staying here, eyebrows. Go home and stay there. If the kids aren’t letting you rest send them to Eren.”

“Levi-”

“Just go. I’m _your_ vice-president. If you didn’t think I could fucking do most of the shit you can, then I wouldn’t be in this position. For god’s sake Erwin. If not for your best friend then for your children and wife.” I point at the door and look at him sternly.

“I haven’t felt this young for a long time.” he chuckles weakly. “You’re starting to sound like a father, you know.”

“Go.” I command and he lifts his hands up in defeat.

I grab the file he’s holding before he walks down the hallway to the elevator and disappears.

_Why the fuck did you have to get sick right now, you asshole._

I stomp back to my office and slam my door to scare the two assistants working under me. They glance up at me and I glare at both at them one at a time.

“Listen here, kids. If you make one mistake, one tiny mistake, I’ll fire you both.”

“Y-yes, sir.” they seem like they would have saluted too, but rein.

I turn and almost jog to my desk. I take my phone and look for Eren’s number in the contacts. I hesitate a bit, but in the end decide to call. If I don’t see him for a bit at least, I’m going to kill someone. I take a deep breath before pressing call. He answers immediately sounding as happy as ever.

“Levi!”

“Hey. How are you?”

“I’m good. I hope you’re not overworking yourself.”

“I’ve had worse.”

“Have you changed your mind about dinner?”

“I can’t make it for dinner, but could you… maybe… wait for me. You don’t have to, but since it’s your vacation I though you could maybe be up later and I could come over.”

“Of course. I’ll make food for you then too. We can heat it up when you get home.”

“Thanks, but I’ll probably get there after midnight.”

“It doesn’t matter. Just get your ass home safely.” I can hear Eren’s smile in his voice.

“Eren.” I call and his breath hitches.

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“What are boyfriends for.”

“No, really. We haven’t seen each other and all I’ve done is sent you brief messages…”

“Don’t worry about it. Even though I miss you, I understand that you’re busy. Besides, I feel kinda special when you call me even when your busy.”

“You are.” I mumble.

“What?”

“I said that you are. Special, you know. I don’t think I ever told you, but I mean it. You’re important to me. Carla’s important too.”

Eren falls silent and and I thought I said something wrong, but then I hear the dial voice. I blink and look at my phone. I don’t know what happened and I frown _again_. I could call back could I not? But then I see the clock and it’s already too late to talk more. I just hope I didn’t say anything wrong. I never told anyone anything like that and if he thought I said something bad then…

I push the thoughts out of my head and start working. I try concentrating and eventually my own thoughts numb to the background as I read papers over and over again and the pile turns smaller bit by bit. I know Erwin has papers I now have to go through too, but I’m relieved to see less paperwork than before. Besides I don’t have to go through Erwin’s papers alone, probably. Suddenly my assistant calls me and I lift my head.

“There’s someone to see you?” the kid is frowning slightly. “He’s downstairs.”

“Important?”

“The man says it is.”

“Fuck.” I get up and head to the ground floor by the elevator.

As the doors open and I see no one waiting. An almost angry look settling on my face as I walk a bit more before someone tackles me. I don’t fall, but briefly panic before I recognize the bundled up man. Eren kisses me hard and I hear someone on the front desk let a surprised sound while some who passes us whistles. I’m quite famous as the vice-president and otherwise being a grumpy asshole who doesn’t tolerate mistakes and I’m pretty sure this shocks everyone who recognized me as I kiss my boyfriend back. And it will probably be talked about for the next month. He pulls me as close as he can and I shiver because he’s cold. The weather is cold as hell here right now and if he walked, or even worse ran, he might be freezing to death. Eventually he lets me pull away. I take deep breaths to calm my heart and lungs from this impromptu make out session. The brat stares at me cheeks flushed and breath erratic like he’d gone through a marathon. I stare back without a word. His hands gently took mine and he leans his head onto my shoulder. I glance at him surprised, but he doesn’t move and neither do I. We just stand there and I feel several eyes on me, but I refuse to acknowledge them when I hear Eren’s intakes of breaths steady to normal speed.

“Levi.” His voice is hushed and I squeeze his hand as a silent answer that I heard him. “Levi, I love you.”

That freezes me, not completely because my hearts starts to beat faster and my blood circulates to my cheeks as I squeeze his hands tighter. Eren turns his head and looks at me while I get my movements back and look at him flabbergasted. He smiles at me his cheeks a beautiful rose red while his eyes sparkle and glimmer in the winter daylight that shines through the large windows that build the front of the huge ass glass office building. They’re warm and loving and I can’t stop my face softening to him. My steel blue eyes watch his cute, angelic face and I don’t know why I feel like crying all of a sudden. But it’s been more than a decade that I’ve cried and I’ll be damned if I break that record today even if my eyes are already moist. I open my mouth several times before I get my voice back.

“I love you too.” I whisper gently and his smile brightens while I fail to stop myself from staring at him.

He kisses me again, but this time it’s gentler, much gentler. They’re mere pecks and his fingers brush my cheeks while my own curl on his back. I indulge myself and throw the thoughts of work to the trash bin. I press closer to the beautiful being that is my boyfriend. Eren’s smile never leaves and it feels like he doesn’t want to leave at all. Still, we separate with just an inch and I feel a small smile pull at my lips. Eren presses his face to my hair and kisses it before moving away completely although his hands are still in mine.

“I just needed to say that while we weren’t on the phone.” he says then his voice still tender.

I just nod and he reaches to hold my cheek.

“God. You don’t know how much I love you.” he whispers more to himself than me and I set my hand on his hand that’s still on my cheek.

“I think I do.” I whisper back and lean into his touch just a bit while I close my eyes.

His thumb caresses my cheek gently.

“I gotta get back to Carla.” he says then and I sigh.

“I really don’t want to let you go.” I mumble as I open my eyes to look at him again.

He seems just as reluctant to leave me, but his baby girl is a priority that went above me. She is probably taking a nap, but by the time Eren gets back she might be awake and it’s not a good idea to leave a baby alone. I huff and pull away as he bites his lip.

“I’ll be home tonight.” I remind him and he nods.

He kisses me briefly again as he turns around and leaves with a wave. I feel the December breeze hit me through my button-up and shiver. I watch him disappear down the street as I wrap my hands around me. I already miss him. I sigh heavily and turn only to walk straight to Mike, Hange and Moblit smirking like the creeps they were.

“I saw something good today!” Hange grins widely glasses glinting dangerously while Moblit turns away to hide his smile and Mike snickers.

I only lift an eyebrow and walk straight past them, but they just cling to me stopping me from walking.

“Leeeviiiii!” Hange whines. “Why was Eren hereeee?”

“None of your business.” I glare at them as I turn to them.

“But, but, but-”

“I got to get back to work. Erwin’s sick, you know, so you better get back to work too.”

“What?” Mike sounds surprised.

He is his second hand right after Levi and he should be informed about these things just as much as Hange and Levi should be.

“I sent him home about-” I glance at my clock. “Two hours ago because he was sweating and definitely had a fucking disgusting fever. Told him I’d do his job which I should be doing right now because I’m drowning to it even with my own work.”

“I’ll take half.” Mike says as he lifts Hange off me and giving her a serious look.

She nods and sends Moblit to the floor she usually worked on. She worked in the 34th floor two floors below Erwin’s and mine’s offices. The three of us, the business’ three highest ranked people, head to the top floor ready to work through the shit like we had when we were in college. When Erwin first started his company the rest of us were in college still. Yet we ended up going through a lot of paperwork for him since we knew we’d go work for him anyway. Even though it was Erwin who founded this company, it felt like it was the four of us: Erwin, Mike, Hange and me. We get to the top floor and immediately the two head for Erwin’s office. I’m pretty sure the two have their own work, but the staff here is trained so high they knew to do their shit. And Erwin’s work is always the top priority to us. They come back to me with all the files and papers that Erwin was supposed to check. Hange starts reading through them while Mike starts making calls and writing documents that Hange told him to. I focus on my own job and soon my assistants take off.

It’s like the sign for us to go back to college. Mike and I take off our ties and dress shoes. Hange throws her heels by my door and all of us open buttons from our button ups. She drops her work to the floor while Mike sets the computer on the floor as well while he lies down on his stomach in front of it. I move all my shit off my table and lie down on it easily fitting on the long table. I continue reading in silence as Hange starts complaining and Mike grunts to her from time to time. It’s always the same when Erwin somehow couldn’t come to work or couldn’t do his job. It’s never just me taking over, it was all three of us.

 

* * *

 

Hours later I’m writing my signature on something when Hange whoops. I know without looking that she’s done while Mike’s writing everything that is needed to be written. I’m almost done as well.

“Clock?” I ask in thought as I turn the page.

“Soon eleven.” Hange mumbles as she takes some of my pile that is nothing more than a few files and papers.

She continues reading and putting notes summarizing what they are and then separating the documents she read in two: those that need reading through and signing and those that were just repost to go through. I throw mine on a pile on the floor that I thought is messy as shit, but don’t want to fix right now. I move to another paper. The pile Hange has would need to be signed by me or Erwin, preferably my boss. He’ll be up and running soon enough and I will go through those tomorrow and see if any of the ones to sign would be urgent though for now I’d have to ask Hange.

“Any urgent?”

“It didn’t seem so.”

“Good. I’ll check them tomorrow first thing in the morning.”

“Mm. Will you need us tomorrow?” Mike asks.

“Not in the morning at least. Though I’d prefer you’d get early and do the shit you missed today so you’ll be free in the evening when I’m drowning again.”

“Alrighty!” Hange mock salutes and I huff.

We’re done and hour and half later. Hange yawns and I rub my eyes while Mike just looks dead. Well they are doing their busy jobs as well so I shouldn’t be the only one complaining. Mike gets up and moves to the door with a wave. It’s his silent goodbye and he really does disappear down the hallway towards the elevator. Hange stays watching me as I clean and put the files and shit in order. She helps me to bring them to Erwin’s office and lock up. I straighten my outfit and put my tie back on after buttoning my shirt back up. I leave one button open though and the tie is looser than normally. I pull on my suit jacket and my coat. She leans to the wall heels already back on though her outfit is nowhere near neat anymore. I glance at her. I feel like she’s waiting for something.

“What?”

“I’ve never seen you make that face.” she smirks, but it’s at least subtle this time.

“What face?”

“Earlier when Eren came here. You were really weird. Like usually your face is like a stone wall. Nothing there. Usually people will either have to read your feelings from your posture or your eyes, but this time…”

“What?”

“You were like an open book. Well to him probably. To us who saw that the first time it was something so weird we were already so baffled that you could even show facial expressions that we didn’t have time to decipher it.”

“And so what? I made a… weird… facial expression. Am I not allowed to do so or something?”

“No. I was just thinking what he said. I could see him whispering to you, but I never heard what he said.”

“And you want to know what he said why exactly?”

“So I could try if I can do the same?”

“So not going to happen.” I growl and walk past her to the elevator after shutting the lights off the floor.

She pouts as she presses the ground floor. After arriving to the ground floor we say goodnight to the night guard as we go to our cars. Mike’s is already gone.

“Where’s your jacket?” I ask as I see her shivering next to me.

“In the car. I was already going home when Mike texted me that you were making out with someone in the lobby. I came rushing with only my keys.”

“Tch. Don’t get sick. That’s the last thing I need, more work. I’m already wearing thin.”

“You shouldn’t complain. You have such a loving boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend who I saw the first time today in a week.” I quip and then add sarcastically. “There’s nothing nicer than not seeing your boyfriend in a week because your boss got himself sick and can’t do his work properly.”

“A week? Really?”

“Yes, a fucking week. I have literally been living in that damn office. I think I actually slept there once. I haven’t done that in ages.” I complain as I rip my car door open. “That fucking Eyebrows should have been more careful about not getting himself sick.”

“Hey! He has two kids.” she chastises and I throw her a glare.

“I have one too and I would very much like to see her.” I raise my voice just a bit and say that sentence that has been in my head way too much this past week without thinking.

Her eyes widen and so does mine. I turn my back to her before she could do that shiteating grin. I wait for her to start shouting obscenities, but they never come. I warily turn back to her and see that she is just standing there her eyes gentle and a small, normal smile on her lips. I open my mouth to say something like ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’, but she turns to her car.

“I wonder what Eren did to get you like this.” she hums.

“Like what?”

“To fall this hard in love with the boy.”

She opens the door, but didn’t get in. Instead she leans to the roof and looks at me like she’s waiting for an answer. I know she’s just actually waiting for me to drive off angry, but I decide to give her an answer. An answer she probably isn’t waiting for.

“He didn’t have to do anything.”

I slipped in my car only glancing at her baffled face before driving off. I head to where my heart is and it takes only twenty minutes. I park and jump into the cold. I’m already walking when I lock the car heading to his apartment door. I dial his number and he answers.

“Levi?”

“Can you get me the door?”

“Oh right! Shit. Wait two seconds.”

“I think it’s gonna take a bit more than that.”

“God, you’re so-” he cuts off and in under a minute he’s in front of me.

I’m pulled in and kissed by the younger passionately. We hurry then to Eren’s apartment and I push Eren straight to the wall after the brat closes the front door. Our mouths melt together and we shrug off our clothes on the way to Eren’s bedroom. The younger falls to the bed and I bite his collarbone. He lets out a small moan and I slip my hand over his pants as I move to my boyfriend’s neck. Eren moves underneath me and my hands sneak onto his body and glide over it as I was trying to memorize every contour. My fingers thumbed his nipple and his sweet moan falls into my mouth. I cupped the already forming bulge and rubbed my hand over it while his fingers dug into my back. He bit into those red, soft lips of his to not let out too loud noises. I kept rubbing until he let out a muffled scream that sounded a lot like a "Levi" and a "don't tease".

I push his boxers off along with his pants and followed the shape off Eren's member with my index finger. He lets out a whine and I smirk at the treat that is right there in front of me just waiting to be eaten. I let myself do what I want for once and close my mouth around the younger's cock without warning. Eren jerks and his fingers press onto my shoulders harder. His voice falls from his mouth like a sweet song and his moan fills the room. One of my hands slip up his stomach to his nipple and the other caresses his balls. He bites into his arm to muffle out the noises when I suck the tip of his cock. My hand moves to the base of his shaft from his balls and start pumping in the same pace as I take more of his member in. My free hand maps out Eren’s stomach and slid down to tightening abdomen. I quicken my pace and listen to the growing screams that are hardly contained behind Eren’s hands. I can feel him wanting to buck up into my mouth, but thankfully my boyfriend doesn’t. Instead he lets me go at my own pace and play with him as I wanted. There is a high pitch to his voice, but I can still understand the words he’s trying to say. I just hum and let him cum into my mouth and swallow it all. He’s breathing heavily, but he still grabs my shirt and pulls me up to kiss him deeply. He rolls me on my back looking down on me from my lap.

“You do know I don’t like doing when Carla can hear it.”

“I know.” I answer, because I do know, but this time I’m hoping he’ll make an exception.

“Good.” he says as he leans down and begins kissing me again and soon he’s biting my ear whispering sweet nothings into it, but the last one takes me by surprise. “Levi, fuck me.”

We would have a long night.

 

* * *

 

My birthday is spent lazily with the two I care about the most. Carla and Eren give me two gifts both and I give them few in return. We watch children’s Christmas movies most of the few holiday days so far. It’s peaceful and calming. It’s actually so peaceful and calming that I forgot to ask about my cousin and her boyfriend, who is my best friend. I don’t actually remember it until my, actually Eren’s, apartment’s doorbell rang. Eren goes to get it, because I can’t leave the kitchen whilst I’m cooking. We have to be careful so Carla doesn’t hurt herself if she happened to come to the kitchen while someone is cooking. So we have an agreement that somebody has to always be in the kitchen if the stove was on or if a knife is out of it’s place. I’m stirring the soup as I hear the telltale click of the door opening.

Soon there’s a squeal and a surprised shout of Eren’s that made drop the spatula and hurry to the living room to grab Carla before making my way towards the door. Carla was also looking worriedly at the door way from my arms. She’s smart for such a small child. I could hear speaking from the door.

“E-excuse me? Are you sure you in the right apartment? Actually w-who are you?” Eren’s voice is bordering angry and shocked.

I slow my pace when I hear a familiar voice.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to jump on you, but I heard from a friend that my brother moved to this apartment! I might have gotten the wrong apartment though, I’m not from Jinae you see-”

“Isabel. Farlan.” I call from few meters away taking in the scene.

Farlan is looking very remorseful while Eren is frowning and Isabel is on the ground begging for forgiveness. All of them look at me when I call and Eren’s face relax immediately.

“Do you know them?” he asks and walks to me.

He poking Carla’s nose gently to make her ease up.

She has started to imitate Eren and me. It meant that if Eren tensed up, she tensed up too. It wasn’t bad exactly, but that just meant we had to be more careful to what we do and say. Isabel and Farlan seem fascinated by the fact that I’m holding a child. Farlan is the first one to come out of their trance. He hums at first and then pulls Isabel up.

“Can we come in? It’s pretty cold.”

I glance at Eren to look for a confirmation only to be caught him staring at me. He seems to read my mind as he answers Farlan.

“Shoes off by the door.” comes Eren’s answer.

He has relaxed back to the state he was in earlier. Peaceful and calm. Cute and stupid looking at the same time in his too big sweater that had obviously been his father’s. After all he never went shopping and the sweater said “best dad” in bold letters. It looked quite old and warm. Just perfect for the unusually cold winter Jinae had this year. Farlan walks past Isabel who had fallen silent. He takes of his shoes and shot a look at Isabel who followed his example.

“I’ll go check on your soup.” Eren murmurs. “Do you want me to take Carla?”

“Ah. No. I can handle her. Thank you, Eren.”

“For what?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Mm. Sure.”

As Isabel and Farlan walk further into the house Carla’s grip tightens on my shirt. I pat her head to calm her.

“It’s alright, little one. They’re part of my family. My cousin Isabel and his fiancè Farlan.”

“Fi-fians?”

“Yeah. They’re going to get married soon.”

“Like prince and princess.” she concludes.

“Exactly.” I chuckle.

“ Princess Isabel. Prince Farlan.”

“In a way.” Levi tries not to laugh at the serious look she is making. “Go see what’s happening to Elza and Anna.”

Carla squeals like she had completely forgotten about it. In hindsight it isn’t a surprise since we don’t have many quests. But there she goes. From where I stand I can she her climbing carefully on the sofa and turning to the TV. Her eyes intently stare into it. When I turn back to Isabel the girl is grinning widely while Farlan is just giving me an amused smile.

“Shut up. What are you doing here? Don’t tell me Hange actually said that I lived here now?”

“She did? You don’t? I mean she’s never wrong.”

“I still live at home.” is my only answer.

“But you act like this is your home.” Farlan huffs.

I don’t give an answer. We walk to the kitchen where Eren is stirring the soup in thought.

“Eren.” I call and the boy looks at me.

“Yeah?”

“This is my cousin Isabel and her fiancè and one of my best friends, Farlan. Farlan, Isabel, meet my boyfriend Eren. And the girl in the living room is his-”

“Our.” Eren corrects knowing I’m still unsure if he qualifies me as a father to his child.

“ _Our_ kid, Carla.” I look at my bewildered family.

“Oh. She’s really cute.” Farlan glances into the living room.

“As is your boyfriend.”

I choke at Isabel’s comment while I can see Eren blushing from the corner of my eye.

“Why is that always the first comment out of your friends’ mouths?” Eren complains.

“They can’t help noticing the same things as me.” I answer without thinking.

Eren lets out a noise of confirmation that sounded like he doesn’t even know what to answer to him.

“Anyway, how you’ve been? Has uncle caused trouble around Sina?”

“Thankfully no.” Farlan answers and they sat down as well. “He’s been quite quiet actually. Hasn’t complained about things either. Not with you out of the house.”

I hear something break and glance at Eren who looks at the broken wooden spatula helplessly. He glances at me and smiles nervously. I sigh and leave him to his own devices. I noticed Isabel and Farlan looking worriedly at Eren as well, but I just let out a hum to get the attention back at me.

“As long as he shuts the-”

“Levi.” Eren’s voice rings before I even get one letter of the curse word out. The boy has had time to learn my speaking patterns over time.

“Shuts up, I’m fine. Not like I was planning to going back or anything.” I lean on the table and give a glance to Eren. “You’re always welcome to visit me though.”

“Well we obviously have to. If we leave you to be too long, you’re going to get married without sending anyone an invite.” Isabel visions.

“I can picture that happening.” Farlan muses and Eren chuckles.

“I’m not that forgetful.” I grumble.

“We told you were coming three days ago and you didn’t inform your boyfriend. How’s that not forgetful.”

I fall silent only to smirk at them.

“Well. I can’t do anything about that. It was involuntary forgetfulness because something else occupied my mind, isn’t that right, Eren?”

“S-shut up.” Eren says flustered and shuts off the stove. “Foods done. Go get Carla, you perv.”

I raise an eyebrow, but go anyway, my smirk still playing on my lips.

 

* * *

 

I didn’t expect ever meeting Levi’s family. Or what he considered his family, as in his cousin Isabel and her fiancè Farlan. He told me how his uncle fucked up at his job and they had to move. Then ended up living in Sina. He told how his uncle treated him like he was some punching bag. How his uncle’s wife acted like he was nothing. How he didn’t want to meet them again. I thought that even when Isabel and Farlan were the reason he didn’t murder the bastard, he didn’t want to meet them again. But with them in front of me, I can’t help to wonder how I even thought like that. They seem nicer than some of my friends and that’s something. After all, none of my friends are exactly bad.

“I forgot to say it, but nice to meet you.”

“Ah. You as well.” Farlan assures and smiles faintly.

“I hope the trip went pleasantly. If I remember correctly it’s about two to three hours from Sina to here.”

“Ah, yes. It was a long way, but we missed our little Levi so here we are.”

“I see.” I chuckle. “Do you want some dinner. I think there’s enough for you as well. I wasn’t expecting visitors so-”

“Really? We can have some?” Isabel seems surprised.

“Of course.”

Levi comes back with pouting Carla.

“Stop pouting, Carla. You can watch the movie to the end after dinner.” I chide.

“Best part.” she simply grumbles.

“It’s always the “best part”.” I sigh and put some of the soup on the side so I could cut the pieces into smaller pieces. “Levi made dinner today.”

Carla’s eyes sparkle and I smile. The girl really loves Levi’s cooking. Even a two year old can apparently taste the difference. Though she does love my pancakes more. I set Carla’s plate in front of her as Levi serves everyone else. I start feeding her and listen as Levi starts talking with Isabel and Farlan again.

“So how’s the wedding plans?”

“Well were were planning a summer wedding. It wouldn’t be very big. Our friends and family mostly. And plus ones of course.” Isabel smiles as she glances at me.

I let a small smile grace my lips.

“Well it would be two for you. It’s fine if you want to bring Carla as well.”

“Hm. I’d like that.” Levi answers. “Are you going to give an invitation to Hange?”

“Of course. And the rest of the group too.”

“Rest of the group?” I ask confused.

“There was this group I went to college with. Erwin and Hange were part of it, but so was Petra and few others. You’ll going to meet them in the New Year’s party, I think.”

“Oh. Alright.”

“So you’ve been hiding you’re cute boyfriend, huh.” Farlan asks after swallowing.

“Oh, shut it. Who wouldn’t want to keep Eren to himself.” Isabel swats at Farlan and the blond laughs.

I try keeping myself from blushing even when I know that it’s a futile attempt.

“Stop that. Your food is going to get cold.” Levi growls and I can see a faint pink hue on his cheeks.

Carla giggle.

“What is it?” I ask her.

“Funny.” she answers and points her finger at the two and Levi.

I huff happily knowing she has already accepted the two into our family.

“They are.” I answer and feed her rest of her food.

Isabel and Farlan laugh while Levi smiled fondly at his family.

“How old is she?” Farlan questions and Carla lifts her hand to show two fingers, but then is hesitant on the third.

“Almost three.” Levi says as the two look at her confused.

“Wow. And she already knows how to speak this well. She’s a fast learner.”

“I just talk to her a lot. I’m not used to silence and all that.” I smile a bit. “She must have picked up things on the way. I’ve read that most mothers, or fathers for that matter, don’t talk to their kids as much as I do.”

“Really? But isn’t it fine then. She learns how to speak and you have company.” Farlan chuckle.

“Well, that’s true.” I answer.

The two stay their time at my place before Levi kick them out with a key to his place. He tells them to sleep there for the night so they didn’t need to spend money on a hotel. We put Carla to bed after she watches rest of the rented movie and then we lie down on our bed. I curl into Levi who put his hand around me pulling me closer under the covers. I think about his friends. I think about his family. I think about my own family and friends. I really do think about it. I finally come to a conclusion. I don’t want to go back. Just like Levi, I didn’t want to go back, but I still want to have both. So maybe I can meet up with them from time to time like Isabel and Farlan did with Levi. They have their life in Sina and Levi has his own in Jinae, but they still were in each other’s lives. I want that with my family. I want that with my friends.

“I’m going back when they graduate.” I say then and Levi tenses knowing what I'm talking about. “And I want you and Carla to come with me.”

Levi relaxes, but there’s a certain kind of worry in his voice.

“Are you sure that’s what you want? To meet with your friends with your boyfriend and kid-”

“I’m sure. I wouldn’t want it any other way actually. I want them to meet you and Carla. I want them to see what I have. That I’m fine with what I have and that I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Eren.”

“I love you. I really, really, love you and I want them to meet you. I want them to know that I don’t see you two as a mistake. Even if they would see it like that, you two are not a mistake for me. I could even say that Carla was the reason were together, so definitely not a mistake. Maybe even without her we would have somehow found each other, but she brought us together faster and I’m happy. I’m happy where I’ve ended up. I know this sounds ridiculous since we’ve been together just two years and I know there is no certainty that we’ll stay together until were old and wrinkly and gray haired, but I’m glad that we’re raising her together. I’m happy that you’re her other father. I’m just a bit sad that you’re not more confident in yourself. Because I would be glad to call you her papà. I would be happy to teach her to call you that.”

Levi doesn’t say a thing. He only lifts my head and kisses me gently. I can feel the tears on his cheeks. I would be concerned if it isn’t for the happy smile I felt on his lips as he kisses me again and again. He’s overjoyed. I sneak my hands around him and hug him close to me.

I never wanted to let him go.

 _So much for not crying,_ Levi thinks as he squeezes Eren back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes. 4th chapter had that promised mild smut. (´๑•_•๑) You readers don't even know how much weird noises and emberrassed screams I made while writing that scene. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ Honestly I don't even know why I'm so fucking shy about a blow job. I've made a whole sex scene before this and published it, so this makes no fucking sense. Also I'm one of the most perverted people ever (ask my friends, they'll back me up), which makes it even more confusing. Just go away shyness!  
> ヾ(｀◇´)ﾉ彡 (I think I rolled on the floor while hiding my face in shame. (*´・ｖ・) )  
> Also wasn't that just a fantastic love confession! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・✧  
> And this had more Levi-Eren-Carla family stuff happening. Isn't that great! Just like I promised. (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑  
> Levi cried. Hah! (Levi will never ever admit it. (눈_눈) ) But at least it was happy crying. I am not fine with making Levi cry in pain of any kind. (๑-﹏-๑) I am the most wussiest person ever when writing a fanfic. I can be mean, but just no. Making shit up that makes my poor characters cry in any kind of pain. Hell no.  (๑ò︵ò๑)  
> I'm happy to know that people enjoy my fanfic, so do comment. Even if you don't, leave a comment anyway. It's not like mean comments make my day better, but at least I know what to fix next time. ╮(╯▽╰)╭ And I do feel privileged that you, the reader even spent one second to write me something. So, thank you.


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About what feels like home. And some texting. Eren loves a lot of stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I start of with the apologies. I feel like I apologize a lot. I truly apologize from the bottom of my heart for anyone who has been waiting for this chapter for two weeks now. I didn't mean to skip the publication date for this chapter last week and honestly speaking I feel like a complete dick for skipping it. I don't have any excuses and I undestand if you're angry at me. I'm not asking you to forgive; I only want you to know I'm sorry for making you wait a week over time like this. (シ_ _)シ  
> I have good news though. Since I did skip last week I'm planning to publish another chapter tomorrow, so then I'm on scedule again. Although most of my readers think the sixth is the last one, I think I'm going to do an epilogue of sorts. I'm not yet sure, but we shall see. If I do the epilogue thingy it will be the seventh and final chapter and then I have to let go of this fic.  
> But enough about that. Sad things for the sad time. (◕︿◕✿)  
> 5th Chapter of Path as a Parent. Do enjoy!

Hange is yelling at Levi. Mostly because he had no fucking idea when my birthday is and I didn’t bother to tell him. So when my boyfriend is chided by Hange I just laugh at the whole scene. I don't really mind that we do nothing on my birthday when I don't even remember it myself. But suddenly I’m in town hand in hand with my boyfriend just walking around and talking. Nothing else. We just enjoy our time together. We’re actually having unusual conversations which is nice once in awhile. I like the soothing silence between me and him, but this is nice too. We end up shopping. Just some little things like snacks and small things to decor our apartment with. That is until Levi stopped in front of a suit shop.

“What do you think about suits?”

“They look hot on you?” I blurt out being the no filter me that I am.

Levi smirks.

“You'd look good too.”

“What? No! I'd look terrible! Don't you dare buy me a fucking suit.”

“Too bad were already inside.”

“It's my birthday!”

“Exactly. That's why I can by all the shit I want to you of course, and you can't do a crap about it because they're gifts for you.”

“Levi-”

“You'll need it anyway. There is the graduation, Isabel and Farlan’s wedding, Moblit and Hange’s future engagement party, Erwin’s company’s five years without going into bankruptcy party and-”

“I get it! I get it. Let's just get the cheapest one and go.”

“As long as you look good in it.” Levi hums and I roll my eyes.

We end up testing suits for hours. I’m never satisfied with the price and Levi’s never satisfied with the fit until that one suit.

It makes me look so good Levi’s breath is taken away and he doesn't fucking care about the price, he buys that suit because it looks fucking gorgeous on me. I’m pretty sure he does although I myself don’t think it’s that different. Nonetheless, those hungry eyes make me a bit hot under my collar. I think my look was enough to make him appreciate this shop just a bit more. He gets all his suits here and he knows that they know their shit, but only now he knows how to be appreciative.

“Mister Ackerman?” The assistant asks concerned.

“We'll take it. Just take it off of him stuff it into a bag and let me pay for the damn thing.”

“A-alright, sir.”

So we exit the shop with a suit that is probably so expensive that I could not afford it with my pay. Sometimes I forget that Levi is a vice-president in a very successful company. Sometimes I forget that he could probably buy us a house with his savings, but alas he doesn't care about that. To him it doesn't matter where he lives as long as he has a roof over his head. But it gets me thinking. While I have no money to buy a house, I really do want to live with him. I want to have the same address and the same room. I want to officially call everything _ours_. I know it would be him buying, but I could think about putting some money into it and it was good for Carla to have our own house, not just a rented apartment. I'd have to think about it. It would be a big thing. A change.

Even if we have more or less lived together for a while, it would be a big thing. For example sometimes Levi would still go back to his apartment to sleep if he worked over midnight. He doesn’t want to disturb my sleep. If we moved together he would crawl to our bed even after those long tedious work days.

And I think I'd like that.

We've been together for three years in few weeks and I think it's okay for us to officially move in together. Even if Levi would wake me up after a long night, I want to welcome him home and cuddle with him to relax him. I want to nag him about working less and spending more time with me and Carla. I want to him to always, _always_ come to me. I want to be there for him and I want him to be there for me. I want to really build a home with me.

“Eren. We should buy a dress for Carla, for the graduation you know.”

“Oh. Right. Or a suit. If she likes suits more she should get a suit.”

“Hm. I'm okay with that. We should go get her from Hange’s and go for a round of shopping. We hardly ever buy her new clothes.”

“Yeah. She does need new clothes.”

And that. I love it how he, after Christmas, started talking like a real father. He says _we_ instead of _you_. He thinks as if Carla is her own and that's all I wanted. Because he really is a good father, he should be confident. He should know that I already think of him as Carla’s other guardian. And that is something that I have to change too. When we're ready to, I want to put his name on the papers as Carla’s other parent. I want her to have the safety of another parent. I want her to know that even I'm not there, Levi is and I want Levi to know that I trust him as my child’s parent.

I know what I want, now it's only about asking him.

 

* * *

 

It‘s a Friday. I’m dressed up in my new suit while Levi decides to wear one of his best. Carla is dolled up beautifully and she has a cute green-blue dress which she had fallen in love with. It’s puffy and it has lace in the sleeves. She looks the cutest in it. After Levi and I bought it, the girl didn't want to let it go. Somehow we at least got her to not use it all the time. We’re walking to my car ready to leave for my friends’ graduation in Trost. It’s a three hour drive there, I don't mind driving. I love driving actually. I calms me in a way. Levi on the other hand looks grumpier every step he took as we get closer to the car.

“You really hate driving that much?”

“Long car trips are a pain in the ass. I'm more of a motorcycle person.”

“Do you have one? I mean I never seen you use it.”

“I do actually. But using would mess up my suits so I haven't driven it for a long while. It’s been over five years I think.”

“I want to see you riding it.” I comment and then blurt: “You'd probably look really hot.”

“Maybe I'll show you.” Levi smirks and I blush scarlet.

I let Levi to put Carla in while I pack the trunk. I shake off my suit jacket so I will be more comfortable driving. I neatly, like Levi thought me, fold the jacket and give it to him as we sit down into the car. I turn up the radio as we start our journey to Trost. Levi hums to the songs and talks to Carla. I only smile as I listen to them. I can’t even describe how happy I am with how my life turned out. We don't stop as many times this time. Carla doesn't complain about any discomfort and we only do one quick stop just before Trost to change her diaper and check that we’re still presentable. The weather was nice in the summer like this and I have nothing to complain. It’s hotter than in Jiae, but not by much only by few degrees. Carla finally noticed my silence and turns o Levi worriedly.

“Papà, daddy silent.”

“He's concentrating. You do know how gets, don't you?”

“Like painting.” Carla sounds satisfied with her answer.

“Exactly.” Levi chuckles and changes the subject.

I love these moments. I love how Carla took in the idea of calling Levi papá. I loved how Levi kept Carla company when I couldn't. I loved it how they knew me so well. Most of all I loved how much they loved each other. I took the next turn to Trost. Trost, even though small compared to the biggest cities, is still fairly big and I'd forgotten it. I hum amazed how big the skyscrapers are and then concentrate on driving. As we close in on the campus I spot the old coffee shop we all used to hang in and I have a flash of nostalgia. I really want to stop for a cup of coffee, or tea for Levi, but we'd have to be on the campus in half an hour. We somehow found a parking space. It is more than a miracle really. As I make myself presentable Levi takes Carla out the car. They come next to me and we start walking the rest of the way. Carla is on my other arm, hands around my neck and eyes wide as she looks around. Levi’s hand has slotted itself into mine and his thumb is calmingly running circles on the top side of it. Surprisingly I feel relaxed, excited even. One would think with being so close to meeting my friends after everything that has happened I'd feel scared. But no. The calmness it there, because I know that whatever happens I still have Carla and Levi. I still have have a home and a place for me to belong to. I look around noticing small changes and all the usual places where I used to hang with my friends. I just smiled. I was happy to see this place one last time though I never thought I wouldn't be graduating. Maybe dad would be disappointed, but you know my life turned out good and I have what I need. Nothing more, nothing less.

We walk past the art department and suddenly there’s a hand on my shoulder.

“Is that you, Eren?” It’s a voice I know very well.

“Mr Pixis. How have you been?” I ask as he turn around to face the man.

He has hardly changed and I can still see the outer line of his flask inside his jacket.

“Good, good. How about you? Still following he path to the world of art even when you dropped out?”

“More or less. I work at a kindergarten, but I paint when I can.”

“And it seems you have found some one, hmm?” he smirks as he nods to Levi who seemed surprised to be addressed.

“Sir!” I blushed. “Don't you have somewhere to be?”

“Oh, right. The graduation is in the auditorium 2.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh. And I bought your painting. It was most beautiful.”

“T-thank you.”

Pixis disappears as fast as he came.

“Old art teacher?”

“Head of the college.”

“He's… pretty fucking eccentric.”

“Levi. Language.” I chide. “But you're right.”

We walk into the auditorium and went to the back of it.

“Lots of people.” Carla says amazed. “Why are we here?”

“We came to meet your aunt and my friends.”

“Aunt. Friends.”

“Yeah.”

She nods like she has understood though I’m pretty sure she hasn't. We have never spoken about aunts before after all. Levi leans to the wall next to me and scan the room before settling to just staring at the stage. I listen intently to the ceremony only to take a breath in when they start calling my friends’ names. They haven't changed at all and somehow I feel relieved about it. I don't know why I had felt so insecure about everything. How had I even thought they would judge me? But I had Levi now and the man gave me more confidence than ever before.

“Mikasa Jäger.” is called and Levi and I whip our eyes on the fair lady who walks elegantly to the stage.

“She your sister?” he asks.

“Yeah. My one and only sister.”

“Looks nothing like you and your parents.”

“He's adopted, but she took our last name.” I chuckle.

“I think I met her in the cemetery.”

“Really?”

“Just when I was leaving.”

“Hmm.” I hum. “Well then I'll introduce you.”

The rest of the event went fast and it ends before we know it. Levi and I follow the mass of people out and stand aside it as the graduated came out next. I almost drag my family around as I follow after my friends. Most went to their parents, but my group of  friends are distinguishable since they stick together like glue. Even when their parents are buzzing around. I wait until their parents are shooed away so they can celebrate themselves. I smile faintly and the three of us go closer. I feel my heart beating faster. Mikasa’s back is to me and the others don't seem to notice me either. I tighten my hold on Levi’s hand and Carla blinked at the group we were getting closer to.

“Mikasa.” I call and I feel the time stop.

They all stop talking and moving. They freeze in their places completely and I move my eyes from all of my friends to Jean and Marco who are looking at me surprised. I bite my lip as I look at them before turning back to the rest who were staring at me like I’m a ghost.

“Eren…” Mikasa breaths out and she’s crying.

I can feel her need to come to me, but I know she can't move. She’s afraid I’ll disappear again. Disappear from her reach. I’m still good four meters away from them, so I walk closer and smile at my sister. Levi’s hand is still on mine, but I give Carla into his hands.

“I'm back. Sorry for the wait.” I say my own tears prickling my eyes and I can't even describe how much I missed her bone crushing hug.

I can't describe how much I missed _her_.

Suddenly they are all hugging me squeezing me, telling me “welcome back” and telling me stupid I am for disappearing. I laugh relieved and happy and hugged them back with one hand. I’m reluctant to let Levi’s hand go. No matter what, he’s my support, my back bone, and who in their right mind would let someone take their backbone. Even for my friends I’m not letting him go. Eventually my friends calm and just take me in, my suit, my appearance, my companions. After they back off I lift Carla back to my arms and she looks at my friends. My friends are staring back bewildered. Their eyes follow my movements like they’re scared I’d do something stupid.

“Who's aunt?” Carla inquires and I set her down.

They all gasp and whisper, all expect Jean and Marco, who already know most of this.

“That would be Mikasa.” I point at her. “Say hello to Aunt Mikasa, Carla.”

“Hello, auntie Mikasa.” she says shyly and Levi pats her head to tell her good job.

“I'm an aunt.” Mikasa deadpans and stares at Carla.

I smile at her nervously. As they all seem to take it in I noticed Annie in the back looking at me like she’s scared of what would happen. I smile wider at her and return to Mikasa who’s now kneeling down.

“Hi, there.” She says gently. “What's your name?”

“Carla.”

“That's a great name. You're looking cute today.”

“Daddy and papà said this is important day.” she smiles a bit. “I wanted to look cute.”

“Daddy and papà?”

Carla points first at me and then at Levi who’s pinned to my side. I can feel how tense he is.

“Aren't you the man I met at the cemetery?” Mikasa frowns and Levi nods.

“Eren brought me to meet meet his parents.” he answers.

“Oh. That means he was there too?”

“In the car.”

There’s a pregnant pause before Jean breaks it.

“Have you met Mikasa’s girlfriend yet?” he asks and thumbs towards Annie who still looks nervous.

“No, I haven't. I'd like to meet her though. If she's ready for meeting the family that is.” I joke and I can see her relax.

“Eren, this is my girlfriend Annie. Annie, this is my brother Eren. This seems to be my nephew Carla and my brother's boyfriend-”

“Levi.” the man in question answers.

“Levi.”

“Nice to meet you.” she says and we return the gesture.

“Who's up for some coffee?” Connie asks still looking lost.

Nobody answers, but they all start walking.

 

* * *

 

It takes two hours for me to explain with the best of of my abilities. I end up telling that Jean knew where I was for over two years and the poor bastard gets a death glare from Mikasa which lead to me calming her. The first and last time I will ever do that to Jean. The other’s take it in better than I expect. Even the more louder ones sit silently and listening it like a particularly good story. I don’t think it’s anything great or new, nothing that would stop them from being themselves, but I am glad that I can tell the story at my own pace. Christa has my gift in her hair and many are wearing what I sent them. I try to read the atmosphere and the feelings everyone have, but the air is still and their eyes don’t move much. They aren’t tense, but not relaxed either. I can’t read what it they’re feeling. At least not when I’m not exactly concentrating on it.

Carla sits on Levi’s lap playing with a napkin while Levi follows my one sided talking. I speak gently. I keep my voice steady. Although I felt so calm earlier I don’t know why this is so hard now. I love them and want to tell them, but it’s somehow very hard. It’s harder than I thought it would be. The steaming coffee warms my hands as I mostly try to make them understand why I left, knowing that they will never understand. I’m not sure if I myself know why I left. Trying to come up with reason that would satisfy them is fruitless. I don’t really need a reason, but they do and I do want to please them after causing so much grief. Levi’s hand was still in mine squeezing mine every time he felt that it becomes harder for me to talk. Even though the conversation is a bit heavy I try making it more light with jokes. I try to making everything easier to me and everyone listening to me.

“Who's the mother?” Mikasa asks when I’m finally done..

“I am.” I answer with certainty that receives laughs and snorts from around the table including from Levi.

“No. Carla’s birth mother. Who is she?”

“Doesn't matter. She's out of our lives.” I reply and when I feel like she about to argue more, I continue, “She has two caring fathers an amazing aunt and her probably just as amazing girlfriend. She has Levi’s cousin and her husband. She has the people I met in Jinae. She has my friends in here. That's enough. If she needs a mother figure then we have many to offer. I think her birth mother is irrelevant.”

She frowned, but nodded.

“Anyways enough about me, how about you guys? I heard a lot from Jean and Marco, but I'd like to hear those crazy stories of yours too.”

Connie and Sasha start talking about what has happened in the three years I was away. Reiner adds more than enough points that Connie and Sasha leave out. Marco tries to calm them down like a mother figure I’ve been thinking he must be. Jean laughs obnoxiously at the memories. Mikasa keeps shaking her head as does Christa and Armin. Ymir keeps silent, but probably only because she will be chided by Christa. I grin mischievously at the stories and can’t stop wondering about how much I’ve missed these past years. I can’t help, but laugh when I can see them doing al those things. They sound so believable. To others who don’t know them it probably sounds like a joke, but to me? I can see them doing it all. Christa raging at someone who hurt her friends. Connie and Sasha getting into a fight in a middle of class about food. Jean befriending a horse. Marco saving their asses with Armin. Mikasa wisely staying out of trouble although somehow finding her way into the jail with them nonetheless. I’ve missed so much and I can’t stop the pang of sadness and regret. I squeezed Levi’s hand as it spreads from my chest and dims my smile just a bit. I can’t help the feeling, I know, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel like I’ve betrayed Levi. I don’t think I’d change anything if I would get the chance to do it again. I wouldn’t change a damn thing. And that notion made me feel better about myself again. I wouldn’t change what I did. I would still find my way to Levi. Carla falls asleep somewhere in the middle of Connie’s stories about their wild parties. Levi’s free hand is playing with her braid and I look at him fondly. I love him more than he will ever know. Maybe he knows because he loves me just as much. He lifts an eyebrow at me, but doesn’t say a word. Sasha talks about her work in a nearby restaurant. Historia and Ymir tell me about their plans to move to Sina after they got a job offer. They’re planning a fall wedding. They tell me how Ymir proposed just a few weeks earlier. How beautiful it was and I couldn’t stop smiling. I’m glad I came here today. I’m happy Levi and Carla met my friends. I’m happy my friends met with them as well.

But I miss home. I miss that small cozy apartment. I miss my work. I miss the sunset and sunrise of Jinae. I miss Hange and Erwin. I miss Petra. I miss mrs Bodt. It’s surprisingly hard to be between two places. I miss the place I felt belonging to yet I know when I get back home I miss my friends that live in different cities. My eyes fall onto the table and my smile dims again. I didn’t notice how Levi’s eyes follow those small changes in me and he moves a bit to take a better look at my face. The others didn’t notice. They talk with Historia and Ymir about their wedding. Even Mikasa has joined.

“Are you alright?” he murmurs to me concerned.

“I miss it.” I whispers a sad smile on my face.

“Miss what?”

“Home.”

“You mean Jinae.” he says matter of factly.

“Yeah.” I chuckle and his hand tightens in mine.

My group of friends are important. I love them and I want to spend time with them, but I have a home. A place I really feel belonging to. A feeling I haven’t felt in years. Levi hums thoughtfully. I look back at my friends as I see the happy looks on their faces I’m happy. I have them and I had my own life. I have parts of Levi’s life too. We’re tightly glued together. Even hundreds of kilometers can’t break a bond that has grown for years. I get up and Levi follows suit with Carla tightly in his hands. My friends turn to me like I did something threatening.

“We better get going. It’s three hours to Jinae and we have to get Carla to bed.” I nod towards Levi and our baby girl. “I’ll come around again.”

“What about us moving?” Historia asks.

“Levi has family over there so were bound to come around Sina anyway you know. So you picked just the right place to move into.” I chuckles.

My friends start getting up. They give me hugs and slaps on the back. They say ‘see you again’s and ‘come around soon’s to me. They seem reluctant to let me go, but it’s true that we have to go. I want to go home. I can come back after all.

“I’ll walk you to the car.” Armin says when the others sat back down and follows us out of the cafè door.

Mikasa, who has yet to sit back down, hugs me again. She squeezes harder than any of the others, longer than any of the others. I do the same back. I already miss her, but the call back home is stronger in my heart.

“Stay safe, Eren. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I won’t. Love you, Kasa.” I answer and kiss her cheek. “ I’ll see you again.”

“Yeah.”

Armin walks next to me while Levi walks on my otherside with Carla. We’re silent as we go, slowly moving closer to my car. Armin seems to have something to say. I can’t be sure, but I know him. He’d rather talk than leave something unsaid. I’m not wrong either because he opens his mouth and a quiet string of words come out.

“Can we come visit you?” Armin asked.

The words fall heavily from between his lips and he sounds like he wants to cry. I turn my eyes to my best friend and lift my eyebrows.

“You’re welcome to. Of course I’ll try to come around here, but you’re welcome to visit me in Jinae too.” I answer worried.

I never want to see Armin cry. He has cried enough through the years, I’m sure, and I don’t want to be one of those reasons. It think it’s unavoidable though.

“We missed you. I missed you.” he whispers.

I stop and Levi glances at me like asking if I want him to go first. I give him the keys and nod solemnly. He walks to the car and I see him starting to put Carla in her seat.

“I know. I missed you too.”

“We fucking missed you. We were scared you got yourself into something that could get you killed. We thought you were dead. We believed you wouldn’t come back. Then after two fucking years you start sending letters-” Armin lifts his head to look at me and his eyes are swelling with tears. “I fucking believed you were dead! That maybe they just didn’t find your body or they didn’t inform Mikasa! But you were happily living your life with a child and a boyfriend without a care in the world! Did you stop to think about us? About Mikasa? About me? You two are the only family I have left! You’re my last family member Eren! How could you just walk out?”

I stare at him in shock. I never thought Armin would yell at me. He was level headed and logical, but I guess there’s nothing logical about what I did. Normally people will try to look safety in the people they know instead of plunging into something unknown. Of course Armin couldn’t find a logic in my decision. I smile sadly.

“I didn’t. I didn’t stop to think about you much. I… felt stupid and honestly like a piece of shit for the first two months. I don’t know Armin. I have no reasons for what I did. I just went with what came first in mind and this is where it got me.” I took a pause before continuing. “ I found the place I belonged to again. You know after we moved out of Shiganshina I couldn’t find it anymore… and I wanted to stay. Then later I started dating Levi and I met his friends and family. I met people who wanted to be my friends. I knew they were not mine in the beginning and if I ever broke up with Levi, I’d lose them, but for some reason I wasn’t scared about that. I was more scared of coming back. That Mikasa would force me to move back from where I’ve made my nest. I’m not as confident as you all seem to think I am.”

Armin is looking at me calculating. It’s as if he’s trying to find lies in what I’m saying, but he should know that I’m honest with everything I say. I can never lie to Armin anyway, so why even try. He waits me to continue, but I take a deep breath and look at the darkening blue sky.

“I was planning to stay there for a year maybe. Then at least contact you, but I couldn’t do it. I felt guilty for not letting you know I wasn’t mixed in something bad. That I wasn’t dead. That there was no need for funeral. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t find it in me to pick up my old phone and get the numbers to my new one. But I couldn’t. I was seriously scared that I couldn’t return back to Jinae after I visited. That I would have to leave the things I build there. But that changed to other things after one and half a year. I was scared of you guys hating me. I was scared of you not wanting me back to your lives. I was scared you wouldn’t accept Levi and Carla. I was scared of you telling me I was being rash again, even when I had planned everything carefully. I was actually thinking things through. I wasn’t thinking just the best for Carla and me, but also Levi.”

“What about Levi?” Armin frowned.

“He was insecure. As much as he wanted me to meet you he was scared of me leaving him. I was scared of Mikasa forcing me to leave him. It’s actually surprisingly stupid now that I think about it. There’s no way Mikasa could have made me stay here. There’s no way she could have made me break up with Levi. But you know I did think it would happen and so I played time praying she would get over her overprotectiveness. Hoping that she’d build her own life.”

“Eren…”

“I thought about lot of things and honestly while I say I didn’t really think about you when I left I did at first. Not enough to make me change my mind about leaving, but I knew Armin. I’m fully aware that I’m one of the last family members you have. I know, but I trusted that you and Mikasa would take care of each other.” I smile at him and watch as a range of feelings race through his baby blue eyes. “Because you are my best friend and brother from another mother. I know I can trust Mikasa to you. I knew I could trust you’d use that head of yours and survive without me.”

Armin has tears in his eyes again and this time they fall. He pulls me to a hug.

“You idiot.” is all he says and I chuckle as I hug him back.

We stand there for quite a while before Armin pushes me back and looks into my eyes seriously.

“You’re not allowed to complain if we stay the night.”

“We have a spare apartment. I’m pretty sure you can stay there, since we have no spare rooms.”

“How rich is your boyfriend exactly?” Armin asks curiously.

“Rich enough.” I glance at Levi. “And very easily irritated. I’m serious about coming back though. I’m not disappearing again.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

He pulls me into a quick hug before he send me on my way. I walk to the car and wave to him as I sit down. I start the car with a glance to Levi who is watching me like a hawk. My eyes draw to the review mirror as I drive away to watch Armin stand there. When Levi speaks to me I turn my eyes to the road.

“You look like you’ll cry, Eren.”

“I might do that.” I say sadly and Levi’s hand squeezes my shoulder.

“You’ll see them again soon enough.”

I don’t answer, but I feel that leaving becomes just a tad easier. I wonder if it’s really Jinae that feels home or the presence of my boyfriend and child which make it look that way. A home. Maybe it’s Levi and Carla that make it feel like home, not just the place itself.

 

* * *

 

 

Jean handed Eren’s number to his other friends and now not only do people from my group of friends have Eren’s number, but all of his friends have it too. Eren ends up sending messages and making calls with his friends the rest of the evening, which annoys me more than it should. His friends force him to make a whatsapp group and they start talking about everything and anything is what Eren tells me. I want to force him to stop texting, but as if he knows what I want him to do, he puts his phone on silent and curls next to me with an exhausted sigh. He closes his eyes when my hand starts gently going through his unruly chocolate brown hair. His breath evens out and the brunette pushes farther into my warmth as he fall asleep. He nuzzles into my side and I sigh satisfied. I really love him. Everything about him. Even his stupidly rash decision. Nowadays they’re rare, but they still happen. Mostly when he wants to do something for me. It ends up in a catastrophe more often than not, but I appreciate the thought and I love seeing Eren looking surprised to see me staring at the mess he’s made. He looks like a deer in headlights. In other words very cute and wide eyed. I would pounce on him every time if A) Carla wasn’t there, and B) he wasn’t covered in something, because he was always covered in _something_. I glance at his phone. I know I shouldn’t scroll through it, but you know what, fuck it. I’m curious of what they’re talking about.

I open the phone, the brat didn’t have a lock code for some stupid reason. I go straight to whatsapp and stare at the herd of messages that await him. Most of them are from Mikasa which to the brat isn't deliberately answering. Armin sent one which says “I want to talk about this book when you’re not busy”. Then there’s the group that’s named “pizza sluts”. It makes me wonder if his friends are sane, but then I remember Hange, Mike and Erwin and push the thoughts aside. I don’t check the timestamps as I just scroll through the most recent messages very amused by the fact that they were about me.

 **Baldy** : Carla aside, we have to talk about your man

 **Queen** : Exactly. I’m lesbian and I can say your man is very hot.

 **Freckled Satan** : HISTORIA NO!

 **Queen** : I’m sorry, Ymir, but it’s true. And that suit…

 **Horseface** : I can appreciate a good suit that makes a man look hot. Which reminds me, did your sugar daddy buy you that suit? I don’t remember you having that good of a style sense.

I snort at the sugar daddy comment. Eren happens to be in good wealth and he could have bought that suit himself, but the style sense comment is correct.

 **Freckled Jesus** : Jean! Are you trying to make him not answer us? And Levi looked very good in that suit of his. What did he do for a job exactly?

 **Food Fanatic** : Please say he’s a chef so he can cook something amazing for me

 **Baldy** : Sasha, get a grip. What kind of a cook would wear a suit. He’s probably a lawyer or something.

 **Food Fanatic** : Awwww

 **Casa** : He’s rude

 **He-man** : Mikasa, don’t say something like that

 **Casa** : Jean’s an asshole and he can say that

 **He-man** : But he’s not Eren’s sister is he?

 **Horseface** : Ewww

 **Blondie Bull** : Back to the topic of Levi, I think I’ve seen him on TV, he a actor or something?

 **Tall Titan** : I think Eren mentioned him being a pencil pusher

 **He-man** : Where is Eren? He hasn’t been here in awhile. And about that, Eren said “he’s rich enough” in this goddamn annoying secretive way. Thank you for that, Eren. Now it bothers me.

 **Casa** : Just google him. I’m sure you’ll find some dirt

 **Queen** : That’s not nice…

 **Freckled Satan** : I’ll do it

 **Queen** : YMIR NO!

 **Freckled Satan** : He’s the fucking vice-pres of Survey Corps. Holy shit

I scroll past a collective texts of “holy fuck”s and “shit”s and “that’s awesome”s. I’m getting amused by this group of friends and feeling less threatened by their presence. Especially when Eren’s curled up on my lap rather than reading their messages.

 **Blondie Bull** : Oh right. That’s right. I saw him in a TV show that was talking about the success of Survey Corps. He looked like he had been forced there.

 **Casa** : He probably hates everything

 **Freckled Jesus** : Except Eren. You should have seen how caring he was when we visited. That compared to the emotionless mask he always wears tells a lot about him

 **Horseface** : Oh yeah. It was pretty cute

 **Baldy** : You act the exact same way around Marco you douche

 **Food Fanatic** : Exactly! Though it is cute

 **He-man** : Eren’s back… So Eren how is you boyfriend around home?

 **Casa** : I’d like to know as well

 **You** : I am torn between being amused about your texts and being angry that you tired my boyfriend out. Oh, It’s Levi.

 **Casa** : Is he alright?

 **You** : He’s fine. He’s just tired after driving six hours and all the other shit he had to do

 **He-man** : How is she?

 **You** : Carla? Sleeping. Her bedtime is way past

 **Queen** : Can you send us a picture??

I huff a laugh.

 **You** : Can’t move much.

 **Food Fanatic** : Aw. I wanted to see her. Wait why can’t you move?

 **You** : Eren’s sleeping on me.

The next texts were dozen texts of “aw”s and “that’s cute”s. I shake my head. Eren is going to kill me in the morning, but I really don’t want to stop texting them yet. They’re amusing and stupidly young compared to Eren and me. College doesn't exactly grow you out of you stupid teenage years. Taking care of a child does do that though. That’s why while Eren is still prone to do stupid things like any other person his age, he’s also much more mature than they are. Their problems are mostly about love and drinking while Eren’s are about how much he has to save to get Carla into good school and how much food he should or could buy.

 **He-man** : I was wishing I could talk about that book of mine to him

 **You** : Too bad you have to wait till tomorrow.

 **Baldy** : So are you really the vice-pres of SC?

 **You** : Yes

 **Queen** : Aren’t you busy? How do you have time for Eren and Carla?

 **You** : I make time. Besides you should see Erwin. Eyebrows has twins, a wife and his job. If someone’s busy then it’s him

 **Queen** : Eyebrows?

 **You** : CEO of SC. Have you seen that bastard’s eyebrows? They’re like fucking worms

 **Freckled Satan** : That’s hilarious. Please say you call him that on daily basis

 **You** : Of course I do. We’re old friends. It’s not like Eren doesn’t call Jean horseface.

 **You** : You have no right to call him Eyebrows though. He’s mr Smith to you

 **Freckled Satan** : Damn. I was hoping

 **He-man** : I wouldn’t have dared

 **Casa** : I knew you were rude

 **You** : What a surprise, dear sister of Eren, you’re being rude by pointing that out

 **Baldy** : Shots fired!

 **Food Fanatic** : How will Mikasa answer to Levi’s words, the noose tightens

 **Freckled Jesus** : Stop trying to make into some kind of a match. And Mikasa, Levi stop trying to annoy each other

 **He-man** : Marco is right, stop fighting. Eren doesn’t need this.

 **Horseface** : I would have wanted to see who won

 **Blondie Bull** : Mikasa can be vicious, but Levi might have tricks in his sleeves

 **Tall Titan** : Reiner, shut up

 **You** : Well, if this is it and you’re done with questioning me, I’ll go carry Eren to bed and check on Carla. Good night “pizza sluts”

I put the phone back to the table and lift Eren on my arms. I carry him into bed. He has his sleeping wear on so I just cover him with the covers and go back to check on Carla. She’s sleeping peacefully, so I go to pick Eren’s phone from the living room. As I walk back I shut the lights and plunge the apartment in darkness. I slide next to Eren and boy immediately cuddles next to me. I sigh happily and close my eyes. Now that I’m aware of it, I feel tired as well. I don’t even notice how I’m pulled into dreams of clear green sea and blue skies.

A place where I feel like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure why, but I'm not complety satisfied with this chapter. Though, I'm not sure what rubs me in the wrong way in this one. I feel like it's kind of not as smooth as I usually write. I like the text to glide from paragraph to paragraph and I feel like this is not doing that. Not all the the at least. Still, I did enjoy writing this and I'm happy that Eren finally found his way to his friends. I'm happy that the scene came out kind of touching. I'm happy that Levi is now feeling more comfortable and stuff. I'm just happy I got to write this chapter.  
> I hope you all enjoyed this, even though I don't think this is my best. I'm still going to publish this, because I'm not exactly sure how to "fix" it if there is anything to fix. Fear not I'm not going to delete it later on, because honestly speaking this fits my personality way too much.  
> Please comment, I want to hear what you have to say. I do answer to everything I get and I really, really love them all. I feel happy and emotional over everyone of my comments. I still have a screenshot of a message I got that moved me to tears as the background of my phone. I was just that moved and I feel happy every time I see it. I'm just really glad when my fic makes someones day or just over all happy. So thank you if you send me comments and I hope you're happy where ever you are, dear reader.  
> Till next time my deries! (o´ω`o)ﾉ


	6. Sunsets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read and you'll know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there. So. Second last chapter. I hope you enjoy it although I'm pretty sure this has more clerical errors than the other ones, but I'll fix 'em when I'm not so tight on time. School has a problem with me right now, so I'm a bit busy. Trying to keep on scedule though. Also this is a cutesy one. I think.  
> Anyway! ENJOY sixth chapter of path as a parent.

I’m cleaning the kindergarten's art room when there’s a tentative knock on the door. I turn confused and blink when I see a familiar blond hair and almost bored looking eyes staring at me concerned.

“Annie.” is all I get out of my mouth.

“Hello-”

“Is Mikasa with you?”

“No.” she shakes her head. “I came alone. I'm going to go visit my family and took a detour.”

“Oh. What's up?”

“Are you sure about this?” she asks confusing me even more. “About Carla. I mean are you sure you're ready to hide the fact that I'm her birth mother?”

I move my head to the side thinking what to answer before I turn back to my work.

“I have no idea what you're saying? Her birth mother's name was Anna. She was about my height. She was a brunette and green eyed. Logical and friendly. Understanding. Things I'd want if I'd want a girlfriend, but I have loved Levi for years, plus I’m gay, and I didn't plan on dating her and she didn't want to keep Carla anyway.” I put the last paints on their place. “Most of all she moved to Germany after giving birth to Carla.”

“Anna.”

“Anna.” I give her a relaxed look. “Look I've though this through and I’m actually happy you ended up with Mikasa because you can see Carla grow up.”

“Eren-” I hear Levi call, but he cuts off when his eyes set on Annie. “She not asking her back is she?”

He looks displeased to see her and I laugh.

“No. She was just checking if I was serious about hiding that little fact.”

“Well then, is everything okay, _Anna?_ ” Levi smirks as Annie tenses.

Eren snickers.

“Stop bullying her. As long as I don't slip up everything's fine. Beside Mikasa and the others have stopped prodding about it anyway. That was just back up information I came up with incase I needed it.”

“Eren. What about your guilty conscience?” Annie asks.

“Annie. Stop worrying.” Levi defends me. “If he said he'd protect you he would. He would never throw you to the wolves.”

“We should get going. We have a date, right old man?”

“Yes, now get your cute ass out of here, brat. I'll see you again sometime, Annie.”

I walk out with my boyfriend and we head to the diner we had our first real date at. Levi takes a hold of my hand. We walk mostly silence and I only break it by my humming. It’s the same lullaby I sing to Carla to get her to sleep. We stop by at some shops on the way just looking, not exactly buying anything. We finally arrive and my stomach lets out a growl when I smell the delicious food. Levi always finds the best places. He chuckles and we take a seat. He says he'll pick for me or I'll end up buying the same as I always did. The grump tells it was a crime not to taste what else the diner had to offer. I laughs at his grumbling, but let him choose anyway knowing he won't choose anything disgusting. I listen Levi complaining about his work day and ask some questions too as we wait for our food. We happen to move into Isabel and Farlan. They are planning on buying a house of their own, even though Levi’s uncle says they could move back home. Still the two want their own space where they could start building a home. It reminds me of what I had been thinking of before the summer started, after my birthday. And I can't stop myself from blurting it out.

“Hey Levi, do you want to move in together?”

His eyes that had concentrated on the nonexistent dirt under his nails turn to me in surprise. They’re wide and maybe he hadn’t expected me to ask that, but I have been thinking about it for a few months now and I’m sure about what I want. I’m also sure that Levi wants the same things. But maybe I’m taking things too fast. Or maybe I’m not right at all. Maybe he doesn't want this. I know I’m thinking too much and I should just shut my brain off. But I can't because he looks like kind of scared to answer me. Or maybe I’m not as good as reading him as I think I am. But then he starts laughing like I told a particularly good joke, which makes me more apprehensive than before.

“You're truly something, Eren.” he says after calming down. “Of course I would want to fucking move in with you. I was actually going to ask that from you today, but you beat me to it.”

The smile that broke on my lips is both relieved and probably the most widest one I’ve made yet. I notice how Levi smiles back and he lifts my hand to his lips gently. I blush, but don’t stop him. I feel happy, yet I’m still nervous because I’m not really done yet with asking questions. I have so many important ones that it’s hard to decide where to start. But I push forward and squeeze his hand.

“Umm… I have something else too.” I say and as I lower my head a bit I glance at him.

He’s frowning a bit and looks a bit concerned.

“What is it?” he asks and I can hear that edge in there.

“It’s nothing bad! Actually I think this is a good thing, but I’m not sure if you’d like it and I need to ask and-”

“Eren, calm down.” Levi squeezed my hand back. “If it’s nothing bad then I think I’ll be fine.”

“Ah, yeah.” I take a deep breath. “So, as you know I think of you as Carla’s father and I think you’re a great parent. You’re amazing and you bestow me with your skills as well because, when I’m with you I feel like I’m a better parent as well. You do know that, right?”

Levi hums and there’s a small smile on his lips.

“That’s good, because I’m telling the truth and all.” I reach my other hand to his one hand as well and dwindle with his long fingers. “I know Carla and I already think of you as part of our family and she would not object to what I’m about to ask… I want to make it official. I want to put your name on the papers. I want to make official that you’re her other father. But only if you’re okay with it.”

Levi’s mouth was a opened a bit, but no sound came. He looked happy yet surprised and I hold his hand carefully as I wait for his answer. I give him time to think through what I said. I rather have him do that now that later after he probably already said yes. I peek at his face, but he has hidden it behind his face.

“That… yes.” Levi answers finally. “I’d be more than happy if you’d do that. I’m not planning on leaving you anyway.”

I don’t know why it sounded like Levi was answering to a proposal to me, but the blush on his face makes a red tint come to my cheeks as well. I nod and give him a bright smile. Just then our food comes and we separate our hands to eat. The waitress gives us a shy smile as she goes, but we’re too caught up in each other to return it. I dig into the food Levi had ordered for me and Levi does the same to his. I let out an undignified moan as the flavors hit my tongue and good heavens is the dish amazing. I have no idea what it is, but I don’t care. Levi seems to enjoy his food just as much although his signs are a bit more reserved.

We continue conversing after we get over the initial hunger and enjoy each other’s presence. We end up sitting there long after we’ve done eating just talking about nothing and everything. We discuss about him moving with me and Carla. We talk about if we should buy a house or if we should just say where we are in my apartment. We talk about Carla in general. We talk about our friends, mine and his.

We talk about so many things as we head home to Carla.

 

* * *

 

It’s the day of Farlan and Isabel’s wedding. I haven’t seen seen Levi since I left him at Farlan’s room. I’m just walking around taking in the people and the atmosphere. There aren’t many here yet, but those who are seem to be having either a nervous breakdown or are very, _very_ happy. Carla is on my arms resting her head on my shoulder. Her hands are fiddling with my tie and her eyes are on the sky blue dress she’s wearing. Many are going straight to the church so I can relax for now. I’m a bit worried about meeting some unknown faces, since Levi and I didn’t go to the _horrid_ New Years party, even though I would have wanted to go. I sigh at the memory of that fight. I hate how persuasive Levi can be at the worst times. I lean to a wall to rest and look around. The color theme is gold and red and although it sounds horrible they have somehow made it work. The flower are different shades of red and there are spots of gold here and there in the decor. I move to get a closer look of the flowers when there is a hand on my shoulder. I turn so suddenly that Carla wakes from her boredom with a surprised squeak.

“Excuse me-” starts a woman much shorter than Levi with auburn hair. “Who might you be? I do not think I know you and I know everyone.”

I frown at the displeased sound in her voice and Carla tightens her grip on my tie as well. The woman, who didn’t even introduce herself mind you, has her arms crossed by now as I don’t answer.

“I’m Eren. Eren Jäger and this is Carla.” I start and given her a charming smile instead of unleashing the displeasure that grows in me. “I’m here to celebrate a friends wedding.”

“Well, _Eren_ , you must be in the wrong place.” the woman huffs. “There is no way person like _you_ , has been invited.”

“I’m sure this is the right place.” I answer with a smile. “I apologize, but who might _you_ be?”

The woman looks stunned as if I should know her by face when she doesn’t know me. I almost frown again, but keep my small, apologetic smile.

“Wha- How can you not know _me_? I’m Irene Ackerman, wife of Kenny Ackerman and mother of the person who’s marrying here today.” she exclaims angrily, “I do not believe what a imbecile you are.”

“I’m sorry, madam, but I’m not from around here-” I start to apologize, but Carla interrupts me.

“Papà!” she crawls down from my arms and sets her wobbly run towards Levi who appeared through the doorway.

“Hey, sweetie.” Levi answer gently and picks her up into a hug before lifting his eyes to me and the woman besides me.

A frown sets on his face as he watches the utter shock on Irene’s face. I ignore her and walk to Levi with few steps. I kiss his cheek and smile down at him. Our hands slot together automatically and I move beside him.

“I met your uncle’s wife, it seems.” I smile pleasantly although I know that Levi knows that she’s anything but, “Carla missed you.”

“I noticed.” A smallest twitch happened in his lips, but it disappeared as soon as it came. “Irene, it’s nice to see you. It seems you happened to meet my partner Eren and our child Carla.”

“Your? Since when? How do I not know about this?!” she seems even angrier than before.

“Maybe it’s because I didn’t bother to tell you. It’s none of your business what I do, is it.” Levi’s voice has venom in it and the woman flinches.

“I should damn right know what you’re doing! You might be ruining the Ackerman reputation.”

“What reputation? You don’t have any no matter how much you want to act like it.” Levi sighs tiredly. “But whatever. We should get going, Eren. Farlan is waiting us in the car.”

“Alright. Goodbye, mrs Ackerman. Hope you get to the church safely.” I say pleasantly much happier now that Levi is next to me.

The woman is left behind as we head to the car and just as Levi said Farlan is nervously sitting on the back seat of Levi’s black Chevrolet. I put Carla into her baby seat and buckle her in before sit into the passenger side. Levi is driving this time. I glance at Farlan as Levi turns towards the church. He looks so scared yet happy and I wonder if I would look the same if I was marrying Levi. I’d probably explode from happiness actually. I’d be smiling from ear to ear and crying from joy. I can’t even begin to look what our wedding would look like. Levi would insist on blue and green, but I’m pretty sure I would want silver and blue. I chuckle at my thoughts and glance at Levi. He’s talking with Farlan about something, but I’m too fixated with Levi to hear what the subject is.

Maybe I’ll ask him to marry me. It doesn’t matter if we’re married or not as long as he’s beside me, but for some reason I want to walk down the aisle and see Levi waiting for me at the end of it. I want to declare my love to him in front of our friends as if they didn’t already know that I love the grump. I want him to declare his love to me and disperse every doubt I ever had about our relationship if I ever had any. I want our union to be known to everyone by the ring that he and I will wear. I want everyone to know that I’m his and he’s mine.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts as we arrive to the church and we get out. I grab Carla and Levi grabs Farlan on tow. I kiss Levi before heading onto my seat and waiting for the ceremony to start. And what a beautiful ceremony it is. Farlan looks handsome and Isabel looks just stunningly beautiful. The two of them make a gorgeous pair. Their vows are loving and tear jerking. It was almost magical how the time flows as I'm transfixed with the two’s ceremony. I only move my eyes to Levi at the start. He was the ring bearer and Farlan’s best man. He stands elegantly behind Farlan with subtle hints of pride showing on his features. He's happy to see two people he's close to come together. And to see them do it so lavishly is just a cherry on top.

After the ceremony we move back to the event place and eat at first. The food is as delicious as I expect it to be with how Isabel’s parents are. Later I copy Levi on his attempts to avoid his uncle and his uncle’s wife. Carla found her way to Sky and Sea and I'm watching them farther away. The twins have formed into a brother and sister for Carla over the years. They take care of her and watch after her like any big sister and brother would. It’s cute in my opinion. I hear this smooth jazz music play and Farlan and Isabel start dancing the first dance just when Levi comes next to me. The lights are dim and the corner I’m at is dark enough for us to slip out unnoticed. I’m not surprised when Levi pulls me close and starts a small, meaningless conversation.

“I’ve missed you.” he whispers into my ear in a low grumble.

“Not my fault you’ve been running around.” I answer after kissing his lips. “I’ve been waiting for you to find me.”

Levi smiles into my neck.

“Really now. I have to do all the work nowadays, huh?”

“I guess so.” I chuckle. “You don’t seem to mind at all.”

“As long as you’re there for me to find.”

“You know I will be.” his hands slide down my sides to my hips as my hands move behind his neck. “Now where would I go when I have someone as amazing as you there with me.”

“Hm.” Levi starts moving with the slow beat of the song that carries outside to the small terrace.

We move to the slow beat and I can’t stop the smile that spreads on my lips as Levi spins me around. He keeps a tight hold of me and the long rays of the setting sun warm us as we dance. It feels like we’re in our own secluded world with just the two of us. I follow my partner around the terrace as he leads me through the song. I feel a bit like I’m in heaven when he’s dancing with me. It feels like this is one of the moments that’ll stuck into my mind into the years after this. I know there will be moments just as good as this, but somehow dancing in the sunset with the man I love to some gentle piano piece playing in he back feels like magic. Like there was something watching over me and granting me this moment of serenity. We hear the music stop and change to some wilder pop music instead so we stop. We don’t move away from each other though though. We stay where we are, since now we are the closest we can be in a public place like this. I don’t know when I closed my eyes, but I open them when I feel Levi’s touch ghost on my cheek. His fingers slide from the side of my face to under my chin. Only his thumb caresses my cheek. I watch into those emotional eyes and he watches me back. There is a smile on his lips as he speaks.

“You’re so damn beautiful, Eren.” Levi whispers his mouth just an inch away from my mouth. “I hope you know that.”

“I do, but only because you tell me it so often.” I respond quietly.

“Good.” He murmurs and finally, _finally_ leans into the kiss.

I return it without hesitation and my hands naturally go to his perfectly styled hair. My eyes close and I focus on his lips. The kiss is far from anything you might do in a heat of the moment. It’s slow and tactful. It’s just us telling each other our feelings. Just confirming what we already know. It’s not something meant to lead to steamy hot sex. Just a loving kiss is all it is. As we part our lips and I open my eyes we return our eye contact. I can see how much he cares for me with just one look into his eyes. I’d rather spend rest of my life with him than anyone else. I know it.

I wouldn’t leave him for anything.

 

* * *

 

Eren and I watch our new house. We stand in the middle of it with Carla standing confusedly between us. We hold her hand so she doesn’t wander off into the house or worse outside. The house is spacious, but not in a way that flaunts us being rich. It’s fit for us and our three and a half year old child. It has a kitchen, a living room, an office for Eren, a toilet downstairs, two bathrooms upstairs and three bedrooms also upstairs. The moving trucks will bring our things later today, but now we only have Carla’s bed and some food in the fridge, although we’ll most probably order pizza or something.

Eren has that big dazzling smile on his lips and I can’t begin to wonder why he is so happy. Maybe it’s the closeness of the beach. I know Eren loves the sea. Or maybe it’s the same reason why I’m so damn happy. Because I finally, finally get to call everything ours. Something so small shouldn’t make me so happy, but fuck it. I’m happy once in my life and one should enjoy the feeling when one still has it. Carla comes out of her stupor and starts tugging our hands to go explore the new, weird place. We let her lead us around as she asks about the place. She seems excited and I can’t help it spreading to me too. Aside from happy I am excited to start living with Eren like a real family. Yes, we have been a family for a long while, but at this moment it feels like it’s real. Right now I feel like I’m in heaven. Just like I did month ago when we danced on that terrace in Farlan and Isabel’s wedding. It was unforgettable.

“What do you think Carla?” I hear Eren ask our daughter. “Is our new home good?”

“It’s amazing!” She’s all flowers and rainbows. “So big! I can fit all my toys in my room!”

“Yes, you can! Finally. Your room was getting a bit cramped, huh?” Eren scratched his head with his free hand.

“It was messy.” Carla looked displeased and I snort.

She is starting to catch my cleaning traits.

“Yes, it was. Now we can make your room organized and clean.” I hum and she nods appreciatively.

We end the tour into the kitchen where Eren opens the fridge.

“We might have to order in. Is pizza okay?”

“YEEES! PIZZA!” Carla screams happily and I cover my ears.

“Jesus. Keep it down, kid. I’m going to become deaf.” I tickle her as revenge and she starts giggling.

“Noooo- Daddy help! Papà is teasing me!” she yells for Eren who swoops into save our little princess. “Thank you, daddy.”

“No problem, sweetie.” Eren kisses her cheek.

I lean to the kitchen island to watch them interact. Eren is an amazing parent and Carla is an amazing kid. I’m blessed to get the chance to belong into this family. To see them both grow. I can’t describe how lucky I am to have met with Eren again. As Eren calls to the nearby pizzeria he asks Carla what she wants on top of hers and she answers eagerly back. The two don’t even bother to ask me, but I know the brunette father knows what I _don’t_ want into my pizza. I’m not picky, but there are some things I dislike. Eren turns to me and smiles sweetly. If I was that easy to seduce I would have jumped over the island and kiss that stupid, cute face, but no I stay where I am. Only now I’m frowning. Eren snorts at me before answering back to he man on the other side of the phone. I huff and try to stay annoyed, but it’s hard when someone as cute as Eren is right in front of you. I shake my head and look at Carla instead who is clinging to Eren.

It’s after a minute that it actually goes through my mind that Carla is sleeping. I blink at the sight. It seems that Eren noticed it too, since after he ends the call he disappears upstairs without a word. I didn’t stop him, but I watched him go. Soon enough he reappeared to the kitchen and stopped a few inches from me.

“She’s asleep.” he says almost seductively kisses my neck.

“I know.” I answer with a smirk playing on my lips.

“I have some very productive ideas of what to do.”

“Really now?”

“Yes. This particular one involves some exercising.” his teeth scrape my ears and I feel arousal shooting down.

“Eren-” I breath out unsteadily.

“We should test these soundproof walls.”

That’s all the words I need to hungrily catch his lips into a kiss. My hands climb under his shirt lifting it as they go and revealing that flat, smooth stomach. His hands work their way on my waistband and his tongue licks my lower lips. I open my mouth to him just when he pushes his hand down my boxers. Only to freeze when there’s a knock on the door. A loud one. Then another. And a third one.

“For fuck’s sake.” I growl and Eren sighs disappointed.

“Fucking cockblocks.” he mutters as he goes to the door.

He only opens it a bit and glares at our unwelcomed guests through the crack. I can already picture it being Hange, but never in thousand years did I expect Eren to be pushed from the grounds way by a mass of our friends. It was literally the huge group of friends from Eren’s circle and my few friends, who Eren - sadly - met at the wedding. I watch in horror as they push past Eren and my friends attack me with hugs like we haven’t seen in years even though it’s not even been two months. I dodge every attack only to be caught by Hange who almost squeezes me to death. Eren isn’t faring much better.

“My baby has grown up and bought a house! With his boyfriend!” she yells happily.

“Shut your disease ridden mouth. Carla is sleeping.” I growl in low tone. “No brains whatso-fucking-ever.”

“Yes! Yes. I appreciate you for whatever reason you are here, but please calm down before Carla wakes, yeah?” Eren tries and surprisingly it calms them down.

“Oh my god! Can I go see her? I bet she’s so cute while sleeping!” Sasha gushes and Eren ushera her upstairs before she could yell some more.

“What the fuck are you all doing here?” I complain as I push Hange away.

“Came to help with the move of course. it’s not like Eren didn’t come to help with our move.” Historia smiles and I’m pretty sure half of the people in the room watches that smile like it’s a heaven sent.

Luckily Eren is not one of those people, otherwise I would have thrown them all out. Eren was too annoyed to even care if the girl smiled or not. Cockblocking a horny man usually makes him very annoyed.

“Look, this is nice and all, but where the hell are you all going to sleep? I mean did you literally drive all the way here and then plan on staying at some hotel or whatnot. We have no rooms, or beds, to accommodate you all.” Eren says to his friends and then points at mine. “And don’t you people have better things to do than go with Hange’s whims? How did you come in contact anyways?”

“Oh, we didn’t. This is purely coincidental.” Erwin smiles charmingly and holds Petra’s hand who smiles apologetically. “If you don’t mind me asking, who are you exactly?”

My friends, despite not being invited in, take their shoes off and head inside mostly sitting on the floor. I sigh at them and Eren goes through his hair with his hand. There is a pregnant silence between Eren and his friends, that includes his sister who is at the back of the group with Annie. Isabel, Farlan, Erwin, Petra, Mike, Hange, Moblit, Auruo, Günther and Erd sit on the floor watching the whole show unravel. I walk beside my partner and he turns to me surprised. I give a slight nod to him, which to me means that you can let them stay. There’s nothing we can do anyway. Eren nods back and I know he understood. Eren lets the silence stay for a while longer before speaking again.

“Erwin, meet my friends, friends, meet Erwin.” Eren says finally. “Shoes off by the door.”

“Are you sure?” Armin asks worried.

I get the feeling he’s the one making sure none of them do anything stupid or at least don’t end up into jail for it.

“It’s fine with Levi, it’s fine with me.” Eren gives a small smile to his best friend.

“So I guess we need some introductions, huh?” I glance at Eren’s friends and then at mine.

When they’ve all settled in I start introducing them to each other. They get along too well for my liking, but I don’t say anything. Instead I stay beside Eren and try to avoid joining their conversations, because they start to get absolutely ridiculous. They even get Eren to join their idiotic banter. Sasha joins them as well, but only after they've all went to see how cute Carla is when see sleeps. At least they're quiet and don't wake her. I do get annoyed by them, but I guess it’s nice to spend time with them. I feel like we’re all a big dysfunctional family, who still love each other. I even see Mikasa and Annie smiling which take me as a surprise. They eat our pizza, but at least they do help us out after the movers come around finally. I wonder if my life would feel this fun if Eren hadn't found me? Well it doesn't matter, because he is here and he eventually brought his friends too. Our family becomes bigger every time I blink my eyes. I'm not sure if I enjoy it yet, but I don't mind seeing everyone laughing and having fun.

And I can’t say that I wouldn’t want to spend time with them again.

After all even I cracked a few smiles to them too.

 

* * *

 

It’s the last day of vacation. We wake up early to take Carla to the park nearby our new house. I build a sandcastle with Carla and Levi gives her speed on the swing. She screams like it’s the most fun thing she has ever felt. In hindsight it might be the most fun thing she has done so far. We walk around the park Carla jumping in every puddle she sees. It rained yesterday so there are puddles everywhere. I put her in some protective clothes and wellies so she doesn’t get dirt onto any clothes that would be hard to clean. Levi and I walk hand in hand after her and watch her like a hawk while just enjoying each other’s presence. Before we go home we go eat some ice cream. It’s a calm morning. A happy morning.

It was also a day we decided to use for a date. Carla wanted to go to Sky and Sea so they had a free evening. I had planned on going to a restaurant, but Levi wanted to go to a beach while it’s still summer. I honestly think it’s weird because he hates swimming. He says the water is filthy and whatnot. I don’t mind though. It’s been ages since the two of us have gone there. Besides I love the sea and beach. The way it merges with the sky in the horizon and the feel of the sand under my feet is amazing. The sea is one of the things that call home to me, besides Jinae and my family. Maybe I’m a merman or something. That’s what Mikasa always said to me when we were younger.

We pack a picnic box and head out. Levi found the perfect house for us to live in, really. It’s close to a child friendly park and close to the beach and sea. Walk distance to all. I smile as we head to the beach. I want to go a bit faster, but Levi forces me to keep a slow, steady pace. He points out all these small, usually indifferent things that would have stayed unnoticed by my eyes if he hadn’t shown them to me. It makes me appreciate my boyfriend even more. He keeps me rooted and it makes me want to do something for him too, but I don’t really have anything I can do. But what do I know. Maybe I keep him rooted too. Maybe we keep each other rooted.

We arrive to the beach and I give Levi a chaste kiss before running off to the water. I can feel him watch me amused as I throw off my shirt and flip flops and dive into the pool of blue. I’m such a child really. I think I’ve matured, but there are still things that make me act like a child. My friends and the sea mostly, but there are some other things like trying Levi’s attention or animals. I feel the water slide on my skin and then I feel the surface break as I pop up to take some air. I turn to the beach and see Levi sitting on our blanket fiddling with something. He looks beautiful in the setting sun and for the first time I want to get out of the water. I want to go to Levi more than stay in the water. So I swim until my feet touch the ground and walk to my boyfriend. He looks up when hears my steps. I push my hair back to see better and by then he has stopped fiddling with whatever he had in his hand. I sit next to him and take his hand in mine.

“I think you’ve broken me.”

“What? How?” Levi asks and actually sounds surprised.

“I want to stay beside you more than I want to stay in the water.” I whisper and lean my head to his shoulder.

I set my eyes to the yellow and red colored water. I can feel Levi’s eyes on me.

“It’s you who’s broken me. I didn’t use to be this damn emotional and sappy. I would have never gone to dates on the beach, but I love seeing the look on your face when you swim so I actually want to come here. I love the way you act like a child in the sand. I love the way you look at me when you return on my side from your adventure and I can’t help, but wanting to kiss the hell out of you. I just love you and that’s sounds so damn sappy.” Levi tells me. “You can make me cry and smile and laugh and shout with few words. You can make me do things what I don’t want to do and you give me courage on things I thought I’d never in my fucking life do. You tell me what I want to hear without even noticing it and you’re a saint even with your flaws. You might not be flawless, but really, you’re perfect for me.”

“Levi…” I lift my head from his shoulder and look at him wide eyed.

I wonder how it’s possible that this man makes me love him even more every second.

“Just listen.” Levi interrupts before I can go on. “It’s a good thing. You brought out sides of me that I didn’t know that even existed and I don’t mind. When I’m with you I feel like I’m on the top of the fucking world. It’s a feeling I’d like to get used to.”

He smiles a bit and I can feel he’s a bit nervous, but like a soldier he troopers on. He pulls a small box from his pocket and opens it. My eyes fall onto simple, yet beautiful engagement ring.

“Eren Jäger, will you marry me?” his voice is a mere whisper, but I hear it even over the waves and I feel tears swell in my eyes.

“I… Yes. Yes!” I leapt on him and start kissing his face and he falls on his back on the blanket with an “oof”. “Oh my God, yes.”

I attack his lips and he wraps his arms around me. He pulls me as close as he can and I press myself as close as I can. Only after we have to take more air do we part for an inch. He looks into my eyes with the most loving look I have ever seen. I gently peck his lips and the smiles that have spread on our lips are the widest they could ever be.

“Eren, I adore you. I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you with all my heart.”

Levi flips us around and traps me under him. I look at him surprised, but he just lifts my hand. He takes the ring from it’s box and slides it onto my ring finger. I watch it sparkle in the sunset for a few seconds before pulling Levi to another kiss.

_God, if you take Levi from me, I’ll make it my personal mission to destroy you. I promise to love him like he should be loved if you let me. Without him, I’m lost._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a house, marriage and parenthood. I think this came out pretty good. I'm more pleased with this one than the last one at least.  
> Till the last chapter my sweeties.


	7. Days, Mornings, Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets married with the love of his life and Levi feels peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, it took me far too long to get this done, but it's better late than never right? |･ω･)
> 
> This was suppose to be an epilogue, but it ended up just being a chapter about their wedding day and the feelings and happenings that go with it. There isn't much about what will happen in the future, but I'm sure everyone can picture how they will be the perfect parents for Carla until she is ready leave the nest and that they will love each other like there was no one else to look at in the world. Sadly there didn't end up being much of Dad!Eren or Dad!Levi moments, which is a bit saddening for me too even though I was the on who wrote this thing. There wasn't just many places I could write that where it would be smooth. Still, I think it ended up being a really emotional chapter, if you happened to be invested in the story. (´-ω-`)
> 
> And a great apology to those who started reading this when I began publishing. I know the feeling of not getting a new chapter of a fanfic you've fallen in love and I know there are many who fell in love with this fanfic. (シ_ _)シ  
> And finally as my Path as a Parent comes to an end, I want to thank everyone who reads this and especially those who were here and commented in the early days. I was writing this fanfic earlier and was just too emotional to write it, so I went to read all the old comments. It helped me push through and write this chapter, because as much as I didn't want to write the last chapter and the feel sad about it ending, I know that you deserved it. You deserve a gigantic thank you for helping me write Path as a Parent. (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡
> 
> Anyways, feel free to leave a comment or leave a question! If you feel like reading any of my other works, keep updated with me at moimoisweden.tumblr.com and you'll know what is coming up next or when I'm updating. 
> 
> Now, I'll finally stop rambling and let you go read the final, emotional (at least for me) chapter of Path as a Parent. Enjoy.  
> ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶

Mikasa is holding my hand with tears in her eyes. Carla is grabbing my leg tightly looking at her aunt worriedly. I pat her head gently to let her know that she’s okay. 

“Mikasa, your makeup will be ruined.” I hold her hand tighter.

“I’m giving my baby brother away, Eren. I can’t not cry.” she sobs.  

“Mikasa…” I smile gently at her and lean forward.

I kiss her forehead like our mother had done so many times in the past. I lift my free hand from top of Carla’s head onto her cheek to wipe away some of the tears. She looks into my eyes like I would disappear forever. Yet I would not. I’m only marrying the man of my life. I look back sternly.

“I’ll be here, Mikasa. Always. I promised I wouldn’t disappear again.”

Mikasa closes her eyes tightly and nods. There’s a knock on the door and Annie steps in in her blue dress. She’s one of my maid of honors. Armin, my best man, follows her closely. Annie comes to detach Mikasa from me. Armin comes to her other side. 

“Let’s clean you up, Mikasa.” Armin says glancing at me.

I stand there. Even though I’m making my sister cry I’m so very happy. Now I can understand why people speak of this day as the happiest of their lives. I kneel next to Carla and take her small hands into mine. 

“Don’t worry, aunt is just a bit sad that she has to give the protecting duty to papa.”

“But aunt can protect us too! They can both protect us together.” Carla’s tiny chubby fingers curl around my fingers. 

“You think? Aunt Mikasa is really happy to hear that.” I look at my sister who almost starts crying again.

Annie fixes her makeup while Armin shushes her. Jean pops in and looks at the scene with an amused glint in his eyes. 

“Guys, it’s time.” he says.

Some fear creeps up my spine, but I know that Levi will be stand there waiting for me. Just a year ago I wondered how Farlan felt and now I’m here. I clasp my fingers together and look out of my room’s window into the yard. We decided to keep our wedding small. Our small ceremony is to be held at the beach close to our house. The color scheme ended up being teal and silver. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m getting married to Levi. Soon I’d no longer be just Jäger. Carla’s last name will also be changed to fit. I squeeze my hands together tighter in a nervous motion and stare at the decorated tables on our yard. Soon those tables will be filled with our friends. Our amazing, supportive, strong friends. Everyone important to us came together on this day. A smile rises onto my lips. I feel so loved. The year I got Carla… I couldn’t have imagined that this would be the place I would end up in. That my family would grow so much. That I would have a man by my side to see the good days and the bad days with. A man who would support me no matter what.  A hand slaps me on my back and I let out an undignified yelp. I was too deep in my thought to really keep up with my surroundings. It’s time to go as Jean had said. Now is not the time to reminiscence. I pick up Carla and smile. Jean leads me to Mikasa who took me like my father would have. I laugh. She really treats me more like a younger sister than a younger brother. But she knows I was all grown up and I ready to leave the nest. I will never be ready to go too far, though. 

I don't want to be so alone ever again. 

I return the hold she gives me and Carla tightens her hands around my neck. We walk out of the bedroom and I take a deep breath in. The scent of spring is in the air and I can’t help, but feel that this is perfect. Levi doesn’t like the summer too much, so we went with the season before that where it was just a bit cooler. Mikasa leads me down the stairs and soon I stand outside in the sunshine. The bridesmaid’s take their position and I let Carla down to let her do her adorable job as the flower girl. Jean hands her the small basket that is filled with rose petals which have been colored in blue. I can’t describe the nervous happiness that bubbles in me the closer we get to the altar. It is something that makes a shaky smile come to my lips and makes my fingers hold Mikasa’s biceps just a tad bit tighter. I stared at Carla as she hops before me, basket swinging as she goes. Finally,  _ finally _ , we arrive under a flowery arch. I can’t see Levi from behind the groomsmen and bridesmaids, but I can feel all the guest turning back towards me. Hange glances at me with Erwin from the front of the people, smiling at me reassuringly. They were silently telling me that there he was waiting for me to just walk down this aisle. I watch as the others walk after Carla who enthusiastically threw the petals on the ground.  _ So _ slowly I start to see glimpses of him between our friends and family. Finally the last pair perted and I saw Levi standing at the altar, looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world. A smile stretched on his lips and his eyes became  _ so  _ gentle like I’ve never seen before. 

I felt my smile become a sweet lull of the giddy smile it had been just seconds before. In that moment I could see all the hazy, lazy mornings I will spend with him, all the starry, tired nights I will fall asleep next to him. All the times we will play with Carla and all the times we will send her off. To school, to friends, to college, even to marriage. I can see all the affectionate times he will hold me in his arms and all the steamy nights he will take me on our bed. All the wonderful, beautiful occasions we will spend together in the future until we are old and wrinkly. Even the fights that will be sure to come along don’t deter me. I don’t care about all the bad times we will have, all I care about is that I spend it with him. All I care about is that he will stand beside me being who he is. And there he stands waiting for me to walk down this aisle to start that life I am imagining with him. 

He looks absolutely ravishing in his sleek, black, and fitted tuxedo. He has his cravat on and that makes him look more elegant. He looks perfectly polished with his hair drawn back and a bit tousled. Even from here I can see that he has put on just a smudge of eyeliner. He stands straight and head held high looking at me like I’m a miracle instead of his future husband. He looks at me like I looks at him: like he’s the sun. I might have Carla and she might be the center of my world, but Levi is my sun and always will be. 

Mikasa takes the step with the music and I’m just a second late. She leads me through the aisle and she might be the only reason I get to Levi is because of her, since I’m far too mesmerized to think anything other than my lover’s smile and eyes and the way he turns to me to welcome to his side. Mikasa gives me away to him and it felt sudden how I found myself right in front of him. Just 30 centimeters between us. So close that if I just took one step forward, I would be in his arms, chest to chest, lips to lips, arms around bodies. Yet here I stand my hands in his just looking into his eyes like it was the first time I ever saw them. 

I can still remember the moment when I walked past him in the hallway of out high school and our eyes met. It was one of the most cliche moments - falling in love at first sight moments, but that just makes it even more cliche probably - when you just stop in your tracks when a random guy, who you just suddenly fell in love with, walks by. You turn to watch his back and all you can think about is the way you could suddenly picture your whole future in front of you with that one  _ random _ guy. In that one moment when you could picture your whole life in front of you with this admittedly hot guy, you know you don’t even stand a chance with him. Yet for months, years you hold him in your heart. You wait for him anyway.

In my mind it was the right decision to wait for him as I am now standing here, his hands in mine.

The priest speaks and I lower my eyes to our hands. Levi holds them tighter than be has held them ever before. I'm guessing he is as nervous as I am. I can't stop myself from returning my eyes back to him and I see him mouth a small ‘are you okay’ to which I nod breathing out. Being this sappy about something as small as holding his hand or how he looks at me is probably the reason my friends have stopped texting me as much. They have told me that it is annoying how  _ in love _ I am. If I weren't so infatuated with the man before me, I probably shouldn't be standing here on this beach with our family and friends surrounding me as I declare my love through my vows to Levi. I shouldn't be listening to him do the same thing. And I definitely shouldn't be hearing him say:

“Of course I fucking do.” 

He says it so certain that the last, minimal - s small as an atom - doubt I had vanished. He slides the ring on my fingers and for a moment I forget that I am supposed to answer the priest’s question, because I'm just staring at the ring and how perfect it is. How perfect it is that Levi put it there. But I finally lift my eyes to the man I am marrying and answer.

“I do, I definitely do.” 

His ring slides on just as easily as mine had. The priest tells me how we can  _ finally  _ kiss. I'm wondering why I had to wait this long anyway. I had wanted to kiss those lips the moment I saw him stand on this altar and even before that I missed his lips on mine. I dismiss these thoughts as my  _ husband _ leans in and gives me my well deserved kiss. If I could concentrate on anything other than Levi at that moment, I could hear the clapping and the whistling, but all I can hear is the sound of our heart beats and the blood rushing through my veins. For a moment Levi pulls back. He doesn't untangle us and lips are barely apart.

“God, I've wanted to kiss you since the fucking moment I saw you under that goddamn flower arch.” he whispers and what adorns his lips now is a smirk. “You look beautiful, Eren.”

He must have known I would blush the second he voices his flattery. I see his eyes flicker to my cheeks before coming back to my eyes looking mischievous. I try to frown, but I'm far too happy for that. All I can do is stop him from making me anymore flustered by catching his lips again.

After few extra kisses he pulls me down the aisle as it is chorused by whooping and the applause that never even ceased in the first place. I just only have eyes for Levi who is guiding me back towards the house to probably continue to smother me with kisses in some private corner of the house. He doesn’t disappoint me when he pulls me into the house and into the small cleaning closet.

“Levi-” I laugh as his presses kisses all over my face and neck. “We are supposed to be entertaining out guests.”

“They can entertain themselves.” Levi murmurs into my neck and I don’t think he is very willing to stop biting the sensitive piece of flesh behind my ear. 

I move my head to give him more space without thinking. 

“No, seriously.” I try again breathy. “I am not going to fuck you in the damn closet like we're some stupid high school students. I have an extremely expensive, nice bed for that and I would like to use it properly when there aren’t about twenty people watching our every move.” 

Levi moves away eyeing me as if I said something wrong.

“Just yesterday night we fucked on the kitchen table and  _ now _ you start talking about modesty.” Levi lifts an eyebrow. “Half of our guest were in the next room.” 

I blush and my fingers tighten on Levi’s sides where I plastered them the moment Levi was onto me. I bite my lips nervously.

“That was different.”

“How was it different?”

“It wasn’t our wedding day.”

Levi stares at him and suddenly he is laughing.

“Are you seriously telling me you care about wedding customs?” he says threw them and I lift my hand to hit him gently.

“Is it wrong that I want to have our first time as husbands on our wedding night?” I grouch at him, but I'm far from unhappy.

I always feel happy when he laughs or smiles - even if it’s on my expense - as it is still quite the rare sigh. I watch as my husband calms down and then he gently pecks my lips again. My eyes flutter closed at the feeling. 

“No, I find it adorable to be honest.” Levi replies and then we are out of the closet, finding our way to yard where all our guests undoubtedly are. “But I’m warning you that you are not going to get much sleep tonight, especially since we have a plane to catch tomorrow.”

I gulp. That was something I heard from Levi from time to time. It was a promise I will feel boneless the next day and I’m sure Levi won’t really care that he will have to carry me around in the airport in the morning.  I had still yet to figure out what actually flipped his switch, but I didn’t really care to be honest. All I need to know is that he wants me just as badly as I want him. We find ourselves outside again and all our friends and family turn to us expectantly as if they though we would tell them what exactly we were doing just seconds ago inside the house. Carla runs to us and Levi pats her head as she clings to his leg. Levi lifts her up into his arms and speaks to her quietly. She tells him about Skylar and Seaward and her plans for the weeks she will stay at Mikasa's while we're of to our honeymoon. I watch beside them how Levi acts like any other father would. Her arms around his neck as they look around. Levi's face sours as he sees Hange. Carla follows his example, funnily enough, and she twists her lips in a frown. Hange bounces to us.

“Congratulations! You are finally husband and husband. I can’t believe that my little Levi is married!” she throws her arms in the air as she speak in boisterous, excited tones. 

“Shut the f-”

“Boop.” I censor him loudly and Carla looks at me confused.

“-up, Hange.”

I have honestly given up on trying to make Levi stop swearing. I find it part of his charms, really, but I don’t want Carla to pick up any bad words before she is old enough to know that she isn’t actually supposed to use them. Levi and I have fallen into this habit where I just censor all his swear words with different sounds when he's around Carla. It's amusing how used to his speech pattern I am. I find Mikasa in the crowd talking to Annie and Marco. She seems happy and there are no tears in her eyes anymore. I kiss Levi’s cheek and take Carla into my arms as I slip away to talk to her. When I reach her, she turns to me smiling. 

“So you didn’t decide to go at it while your party’s still going on.” she quips and I frown at her.

“Of course not. I do have morals.”

Annie smirks.

“Sure, Eren. I believe you.” Annie turns to give Mikasa a look that tells me that they probably think we blowed each other of before coming out.

It’s both mortifying and amusing that they somehow know us so well. If I didn’t want to be corny then he probably would have blown me of, but alas here we stood me with a bruise forming on my neck, but still quite  _ not  _ sexually satisfied. Carla grabs on Mikasa excitedly, obviously wanting to talk about something and she takes her from me. She has gotten used to her over the year as she comes around a lot. She is a great aunt and a fantastic woman role model for her. She plays with her and I can see Annie smile at her gently. Then suddenly I’m lurching forward as Connie tackles me from behind. I almost fall, but Annie takes a hold of me and I turn to glare at the bald asshole. 

“What is wrong with you?” I ask offended by his actions. 

“You dog! Look at you being all fancy in your white tuxedo!” Connie shouts and completely ignores my question. “Now you can retire early and become one of those rich housewives!”

I frown.

“I repeat: What is wrong with you? I’m not going to become some rich housewife who spend all his husbands money. Jesus.” I rub my forehead almost wishing that I had given into Levi’s desire to fuck in the cleaning closet so I wouldn’t have to have this conversation. “I can’t believe those are your first words to your newly married friend. Congratulations would have sufficed.”

“Congratulations is so impersonal!” Sasha comes to Connie’s side smiling slyly. “I bet Mikasa asked you about what you were doing in the house, so I’m sure Connie did much better.”

I can almost feel the glare my sister plants on Sasha, who backs away laughing. I lift my eyebrow at Connie who is now also smiling. I bet he is so satisfied that Sasha backed him up and even validated his comments.

“Do you have anymore mind blowing commentary on the rest of my future?” I asked completely unimpressed. 

“I have a whole list of things, but it’s better to give them slowly!” he has a shit eating grin on his face and I swear I’m going to regret inviting him.

Jean appears, hand in Marco’s and I almost feel apprehension growing in me for what his next words would be. 

“Congratulations, Eren.” he says simply and I breath out in relief.

“It was a beautiful ceremony.” Marco adds and glances at Levi. “You looked so smitten with each other. And happy. I think I have never seen Levi smile as much as he did when he stood on the altar with you.”

Bless Marco and his normal ways of handling things. He spoke about things I pictured myself of talking about after the ceremony. I look at Levi as well and see him bickering with Hange. I snort. Marriage for us doesn’t really change anything. Hange had once mentioned that we act like a married couple even though we weren’t one yet. They were probably right to be honest. Erwin and Petra join the two and try calming Hange and Levi. I turn my eyes back to Marco.

“Thank you. You can’t believe how elated I felt when  _ I _ saw him smile. It was like it made all the stress and hassle filled months before the wedding worth it when I saw him smile like that.”

“God, you are just so  _ sappy _ .” Jean grumbled and I give him a glare.

Marco laughs good naturedly and then I feel a hand in mine. I glance to my side and Levi’s there looking at me amused. 

“Can you two not fight for like at least few hours.” he asks squeezing my hand.

“I don’t think that’s possible, Levi.” Marco speaks politely to him eyes speaking of mirth.

Levi sighs heavily, but I can see he’s just teasing me.

“Then I’ll take my husband before he starts a brawl on our wedding day.” he starts pulling me away from there towards our makeshift dance floor. “As much of a fun memory that would be, I’d rather just dance with him.”

I huff, but let him drag me away. It feels like he is dragging me along a lot. Then again he has always dragged me along and I never seemed to mind so I’m not going to start now. I let him pull me into the middle of the dance floor and I notice Erwin starting the music. I follow Levi’s slow steps as he takes me into a waltz. I lean into him as he leads me on. He likes dancing, I found out. We have danced like this numerous of times, but this feels like the first time all over again. It’s not a sunset like it was then and it’s our wedding this time, but it felt so special like this dance right now. It was still a special memory in my head and I go back to it on dark, rainy days when I feel depressed and need a pick me up. 

“What are you thinking?” Levi whispers into my ear just as other people are starting to join us.

“About the first time we danced together.” I closed my eyes just going where ever Levi wanted to take us.

“It’s probably my favorite of all the times we have danced together.” 

“Mine too.” I hum. “It was a perfect dance with a perfect man just in the right moment.”

“I could say the same to you.” Levi speaks softly.

Celebrating our union goes on until the late night and I cling to Levi like he’s my lifeline. He doesn’t move away from me either other than the moment he dances with Carla, which was adorable. She is with us in the moments she is not with Mikasa or Skylar and Seaward. She often walks between us and holds both of our hands. Tons of pictures are taken and I can't wait to fill our home with them. Our guest start to disappear one by one. The last ones to go are Mikasa, Annie and Carla as she will stay with them. Around midnight I find myself under the starry sky of Jinae, sitting beside my husband right where he proposed to me last year. I lean onto him and burrow deeper into the blanket he draped around us when we sat down earlier. I look at the stars just feeling Levi’s warmth beside me. We don’t speak. We never had the need to fill the silence with chatter. We just need each other and all else will workout. I know we could use the house as we pleased, because Mikasa took Carla as we had our two weeks of honeymoon to get to. Yet I just stay here beside him, because I really don’t want to be anywhere else. We are together and look at the same scene as we hear the waves and wind. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, but I guess Levi had other ideas. He jostles me as he gets up and I look at him confused. 

“Wha-”

“I really love spending some quiet time with you and I can’t describe how nice it feels to just sit here in silence with you.” Levi speaks and I look up to him frowning.

“I hear a but coming.” I respond.

“ _ But _ I would also love it if I could see how beautiful you look when I slowly start taking of your your tuxedo - that, by the way, makes you look fucking heavenly - in our bedroom and hear you scream my name as I fuck you in all the right ways.”

My mouth opens in silent shock as a furious blush spreads over my face. I’m sure that Levi can see it even in the dark, because he smirks satisfied. He kneels down in front of me and places his hands on my cheeks before pulling me into a slow, languid kiss that makes me feel all kinds of hot, despite not being one of those blazing, needy kisses. He looks into my eyes as he pulls back, just few millimeters from my face. 

“So, are you coming or do I have to spend my wedding night alone?”

He turns around and starts walking back to the house and soon I’m running after him with our blankets. His hand slips to mine as I get to his side. We find out way in and I’m pushed to the wall, blankets dropping to the floor. His kiss is fierce, but I return it with same fervor. He lifts me in his arms and I wrap my legs around his strong torse. He attacks my clavicle and I lift my head while biting my lower lip. He knows exactly how to arouse me, though from him it doesn’t need much. With me securely in his arms he carries me upstairs and throws me on the bed. He looks down on me like I’m his prey and I don’t find it in myself to mind, because the lust filled eyes and the way he licks his lips makes my dick twitch. We quickly fell back into heated kisses and roaming hands. Levi’s swift fingers were unbuttoning my clothes, while I fumbled with his. I was naked on the bed under him quicker than ever before and I don’t know how that was possible, because this is the most clothes I’ve worn in years. Levi sat up straight looking down at me smirking. I looked back at him, displeased by his still clothed form. 

“It think you’d look much better with less clothes.” I mumble, cheeks burning bright.

“Oh?” Levi asked and his smirk only became wider. “I guess I can take them off.” 

I watch wide eyed as he ever so slowly starts to undress. He discards his tuxedo jacket and vest - very uncharastically might I add - to the floor. He must find me much more appealing than actually put them away in a way it won’t wrinkle. With a tug his bow tie came loose and I see him throw that to the same pile as his other discarded clothing. His eyes don’t move from my face as he runs his hand over his chest and back up again to start on the dress shirt. He begins to open his dress shirt button by button. I’m not sure if he is torturing me or giving me a strip show or both. He reaches the end and I draw in a breath as I easily slips it off by rolling his shoulders back. I marvel his muscled chest and Levi set his hand down onto my sensitive nipple and quickly draws my attention by flicking it gently.

“I might have to start undressing like this more often if this is the reaction I get.” Levi purs in a low, sensual tone and grounds down on my half hard member.

I bite down a moan forming in my throat. Levi’s hands go down my sides leaving behind a trail of fire even though they are always cold. They go over my thighs and lift them on his shoulder. He kisses the tender skin inside my legs, right next to my shaft, before biting down and sucking on it. I let down a whimper and I can see how satisfied he is to get a sound from my stubborn lips. Levi’s hands massage the muscles on my tights as he goes lower and lazily kisses my member. My whole body trembles as he gives a languid lick to it and takes it in his mouth. I throw my head down into the pillows that lay on the bed as he goes deep. He lets his teeth scrape the delicate skin on my cock as he comes up. His tongue presses into the slit and I give out a harsh moan as he hums around the tip. He begins to fondle my sack as he bobs up and down, making sure I’m fully hard before releasing me with a wet sound. 

If I didn’t see Levi start to release his own erection from the confines of his trousers, I would have complained. The sight that reminded me that no matter how wonderful Levi’s blowjobs are, there is something much more rewarding waiting for me if I’m patient. With a few less than suave kicks, Levi is out of his pants and boxers in all his naked glory just letting me take in his beautiful body. He moves back on top of me catching my lips into a kiss that much calmer than the last one and I can’t help but moan, because his hard cock slides next to mine. Levi sucks on my lips before slipping his tongue in my mouth, exploring my mouth like he had never kissed me like this before. With him everything feels like the first time and I have no idea how he does it. His hand reaches to the bedside table to get the condoms and lube, while I’m distracted with the way his tongue tangles with mine and how he keeps rocking his hips just a bit to keep the friction going. He pulls back eyes on my glistening lips and the slight sheen of sweat that is on my body even though we have hardly done anything yet. 

“I’m glad your stamina is great.” Levi says as he kisses my knee when he sits up straight. “Otherwise you’d probably die to a heart attack with how lazy you are with your workouts.”

I laugh feebly, my breath a bit too erratic to make it sound like proper laugh.

“We can’t all be rich and amazing greek gods, you know.” I respond to his jabs and I swear I see a light blush spread to his cheeks. 

I hear the cap of the lube being opened and I feel excitement vibrate under my skin. 

“Well you needn’t worry. You are beautiful enough to put greek gods to shame.” Levi whispers as he pours the cool liquid on his hand and positions himself better. 

I feel his finger slide in without too much effort and I breath out to let all the tension out of my body. Levi knows I don’t need much adjusting so he starts moving his fingers inside me. He leans down to pepper my chest with chaste kisses and bites. I moan when he hits the bundle of nerves and I can feel his smile against my tan skin. I don’t even notice when he got to the third finger because he kept lightly massaging my prostate and making me mewl. I know he won’t let me come with just his fingers, not yet as the night is young. Besides I want something bigger than his fingers, no matter how deft and adept they are at getting me writhe under him. 

“Levi,  _ please, _ I need something more.” I beg and I feel him falter just for a moment. 

His voice is smooth as velvet and filled with lust when he speaks around my nipple that he was nibbling.

“What do you want exactly,  _ Eren _ ?”

My name on his lips makes me shiver involuntarily. I know he felt it, but all I care about now is connecting him to me. So as I watch him rise to look at my whole body like it was the most delicious thing he had seen, I answer with a moan because he still hasn’t stopped moving his fingers in my hole. 

“Your cock! I want your cock,  _ please. _ ”

He pulls out his fingers with a wet sound. He reaches out to take a condom, but my hand flies out to stop him. He looks at me startled as my fingers curl around his wrist. We stared at each other and even without me saying anything, Levi understand as I stare at him determined through my half lidded eyes. His fingers slide over my member and my chest and come to smooth over my cheek. 

“Are you sure?” he asks, worry coming through his voice even when he himself seems to like the idea. 

“Yes, I want to feel you fully.” I get out between heavy breaths. 

He nods. Without much warning he pushed his hard cock into me and I leans down to catch the loud moan that releases itself from my mouth. He pulls out and slams back in abruptly. I don’t if I should try to concentrate on breathing or just give up entirely, because every time he slides his member back in it takes my breath away. His hands are roaming my body, touching everything that he remembers to be sensitive in his lust. His lips are still on mine, kissing me as if to tell me to forget about breathing and concentrate all my senses to him. As if anything else was possible.

“I bet your ass is starting mold into the shape of my cock. It sure feels like it at least.” he whisper onto my lips and fixes his position to hit straight into my prostate with scary accuracy. 

I scream his name and my eyes screw shut. His bites into my neck as I repeat his name like mantra. I can feel his fingers and breath on my skin. I can feel his thick, hot cock pound into my hole and I could definitely feel release starting to creep on me as he right hand starts pumping my member and his free hand squeezes hard on my thigh. I force my eyes open as I felt him straighten and I will never admit it, but seeing his sweat coated form fucking me, head thrown back, eyes closed and lips parted, made me tighten and come in a hoarse wail of his name. His pace became erratic as he fucked me through my release. I couldn’t stop calling his name in a moan.

“ _ Eren- _ ” he groans and I’m being filled with his seed. 

I swear I came a second time, but without actually coming. I feel full and satisfied. Levi collapses on top of me. Usually he gets up immediately to clean us up, but he only presses he sweaty forehead into the crook of my neck. Only our breaths could be heard in the room- Gradually they begin to even out and I feel Levi lazily kiss my neck behind my ear. I shiver.

“Fuck, you feel fucking amazing around me.” he finally speaks and my breath hitches at his words. 

“You feel amazing in me.” I say and I feel him smirk on my neck. 

He moves  to pull out his member and I feel the semed start leaking out. I whimper at the feeling. He sits upon his shins and looks at me a that burning desire in his eyes. He stares at my ass as if he was about to start fucking me all over again, but instead he turns those eyes back to my relaxed, but exhausted form. He comes to lie next to me and I turn my head to him. 

“For a moment there I thought we were about to go another round.”

Levi snorts and closes his eyes.

“We will, but first we are going to take a break.”

“How generous of you.” I say smiling amused and slide my hand into his.

He returns the hold despite the fact that our hands are moist with sweat. I study Levi as he just basks in the afterglow of sex. I this look on of his most appealing ones. Not that the doesn’t look absolutely charming all the time, but right now he looks down right ethereal. The way his skin glows in the moonlight, how his brows aren’t the tiniest bit creased and how just lays there completely relaxed. It’s rare to see him like this. Even after sex he rarely completely relaxes. 

Maybe it’s the fact that he knows he has two weeks of vacation ahead of him. He has no work, no assignments to stress over, no problems to worry about. There is only me and him for two weeks on an island with an amazing view and no one to bother us. I wonder is the people he works with know how much they set on Levi’s shoulders. I wonder if Erwin knows how much weight Levi carries in the company with no complaints and no words to show how displeased he is that he never gets home in time. He works more than anyone else - at work, in relationships, at being a parent - and he has given more in the years he’s been alive than most give in their whole lives. He, even with all his faults, is someone I can aspire to be like. He is someone I want our daughter to aspire to be like. As if knowing that I’m thinking about him, Levi opens his eyes and turns to look at me. He smiles when our eyes meet and I smiled back a small blush settling on my cheeks. For a moment we just look at each other.

Then he speaks in hushed tone as if the calm of the room could be broken if he spoke any louder.

“You know, when I saw you at the the end of that aisle and I looked into your eyes, I think my whole future just flashed before my eyes in that one moment.” he whispers and his fingers tightens around mine. “Made me remember that one time we walked past in high school and our eyes met. You threw me for a loop, brat. It wasn’t the same vision I saw when I saw you today, but it was pretty damn close. I think the one I had today was infinitely better than the one I saw then.”

I feel my eyes widen and my lips part. 

“I… I saw that too. Then and now and I can’t believe this is happening.” I spluttered to him and despite obviously being surprised by my words, his smile becomes fonder.

“I feel like… like I’ve found heaven on Earth.” he says and I can’t describe the feelings I see in his eyes, but they’re strong and unwavering. “With you and Carla I have found this peace I’ve never had before. It’s like everything bad that has happened doesn’t matter anymore, because you’re there beside me. Sometimes I wonder what I’ve done to deserve a fate this good. I don’t think I can wish for anything more, because I’ve found all that I need.”

My lips tremble and my eyes water. It’s funny how people usually cry in their wedding, but here I’m crying at three in the morning, because Levi’s words resonate in me in such a perfect way. There probably isn’t any other person in the world that could make me feel in a way that even the world pure happiness can’t describe it. There probably isn’t enough words in this world to describe this. If soulmates are real, I’m sure I found mine. I can’t find my words, but with how Levi reaches to kiss me gently, hand on my cheek like I’m the most precious thing in this world, I’m sure that he understands. I’m sure he realizes that we will grow and change with times, but he wants to fight through hard times with me just as I’m willing to fight through them with him. I’m sure he knows that I would do everything in my power to stay there for him for the rest of my life, even if I couldn’t be right there beside him. 

Every day, every morning, every night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're finally at the end. Yay? ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ 
> 
> I can honestly tell you I had a fucking roller coaster of emotions. (・_・;) I went from feeling happy that they're getting married into laughing my ass of cause I can't handle writing sex scenes and then I went to crying my eyes out at the end. I just... I don't even know. To be honest, I'm still crying while I'm writing these notes, so there's that.  
> 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。
> 
> I'm between feeling pleased that I can stop feeling bad about not writing this and sad about it being the final chapter. I could always make this a series and add oneshots about how their parenthood is going, but I'm even worse at writing those than finishing multichapter fanfics, so I wouldn't hold my hopes up. 
> 
> Seriously though, Thank you for anyone who read this and everyone who kept giving me feedback. I still smile in happiness every time I read all the comments and messages I got about this. They always make my day. (*´▽`*)
> 
> Okay, now I seriously got to let you go. Until the next fanfics. (´• ω •`)ﾉ


End file.
